Showing posts with label Happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Happiness. Show all posts

Jul 20, 2016

Start Living Life in Your Own Way




The great gap of our efforts and the yield creates a lot of dissatisfaction. Whenever I asked about life in my conferences, I noticed some common things prevailing such as lack of clarity, and everybody was more concerned about others. The funny part was that those who thought they are more committed to family, relatives, friends etc, they were more unhappy lot. In fact these people were in impression that they are doing a lot for family etc. but in turn they were emotionally bound and became more expecting from others but the Others were in comfortable zone and not thinking of the contribution made by their family members etc. One has to strike right kind of balance between self-development and helping others. 

We have to understand more about efforts, attachment and expectations. Being human, we take part in something, we stick to it without reason sometime, we start expecting returns, we behave like having sole onus of changing others. These are the set rules which govern our life. If we refresh our complete thought process and learn to accept changes and understand situations, joy of life will unleash forever. 

While taking more interest in others' life we completely forget about our own creativity. Everyone of us is unique and own some skill or art which is special but we hardly find enough time to nurture it as we are very busy studying others affairs. Living life in own way is awesome. When we shift our attention from others to ourselves we start knowing self and suddenly direction of life becomes reality. Some tips in nutshell:

6. If really decided, avoid procrastination and enjoy living life in your own way.

Jul 11, 2015

Small experiments for big changes




Small experiments can make big changes in our life. Here is the list of some experiments one should experience and strike right balance in life.

1. Celebrate no complaints day : For our own sake we can fix at least a day in a week which is completely free from complaints. We can increase our acceptance level to adjust all situations on a particular day to make a nice start. Amazing changes happen, just follow and feel.
 
2. forgive your worst enemy: If you have no enemy than far better but if you have than try forgiving him or her from bottom of your heart. I agree this is not small thing but assume it small and let it happen.This will make you stress free to a great extent.

3. Network is net worth, realize it in time: Right kind of networking at right age make your life tremendous success. We can not do all things on our own. We can not get everything done by paying some money. Human life can not avoid being social.Those who remain aloof must reconsider and open the doors of happiness by establishing and maintaining proper networking. One can start this with contacting at least a friend per day. Make your presence wherever you feel its worth. These small gestures can unleash your potential eventually.

4. Help someone for nothing in return: It is not necessary that we expect something in return all the time. Helping someone for no reason can really make you feel happy. Small favors to someone who is stuck up, may make our life graceful and blessed too.
  
5. Ask your elders if any support they need from you: elders generally do not ask for help or support unless they feel very comfortable with someone. Take this as an opportunity and lend a helping hand without waiting for their request. It is equally true within family or outside family.

6. Spare few minutes for you alone: Talk at least once to yourself daily. Those who don't talk to themselves remain empty for long and need outside support constantly. Our own soul is full of unlimited power but we have to search it by communication.
  
7. Plant a tree at least if you can: Ask the quantum of pleasure to a person who planted a tree and saw it grown up. It is very positive thing we can give to our earth.

8. Teach what you can but for free to someone who really need it: There are plenty of people who may need different kind of guidance. If one has skill and experience, he should share it so more and more people will benefit from it

These are some small things we can follow and make our life more balanced.

Mar 24, 2015

How To Stay Happy



When somebody asked me "How to stay happy" I took risk to reply such question which is generally asked to some Saint or spiritual leader, I explained it as under:
Whole human life is chasing something , getting something, having something or maintaining something. The person was not satisfied and he insisted to explain it further and I had to elaborate my reply and the question and concept implied in it both were manifest.

In this world we are mostly busy in four type of activities:

1. To make or get money and wealth,
2. To have name, fame and be influential.
3. To love and get loved
4. To keep up all the above three in favor on sustained basis.

We can notice well that almost everybody is busy with the above four kind of activities. Level of busyness might be the different person to person depending upon his or her priorities. Now coming on the question "How to be Happy", the point here is that if we are in these four activities only than our happiness would be limited to our needs. In other words, if my need of wealth is acute than it would give happiness to the extent the money and wealth I can consume, the moment the need gets satisfied, happiness will start finding new definition in another activities and it will shift its focus to other activities and this shifting becomes a habit. In this process the real happiness is never finding its value and due importance too. So what to do ? simple answer is that if we can spare part of our time for any such activity which does not fall in these four activities than happiness starts coming in.

To make it simple, such as if someone draws a picture , sing a song, plays piano, walks in a garden, looks at beautiful stars in night, observes sunrise, listen music, meditates, prays, forgives, studies positive thoughts, involves in good sports, supporting others and so on. All these should not have any motive which if eventually leads to the four activities than happiness would be artificial and not the real. In simple words if we start involving in any such activities which is not categorized as part of the four mentioned above than most probably there would be happiness and balance in life too. Those who practices it well, would know it better.      

Jan 15, 2015

Simplicity forgotten


Just think and find honest answers of these questions :

How many friends we have with whom we can really share our feelings ?
With the advancing age numbers of our friends are increasing or decreasing?
Do people feel that we are out of reach for them to meet or say something?
Do we too feel lonely all the time?

 If the answers are affirmative of these questions than we must be sure about the fact that we have lost our simplicity and due to this suffering to a lot.

A child remains happy because he is unaware of complexity of life but a man or woman remains happy "sometimes". Why sometime, why not most of the time? Things are made complicated by ourselves only. We walk but think of dress code, or even the type of shoes we should wear. We wish to move around but think often what type of company we should have. We wish to sing a song but afraid of what people will comment and so on. In reality nobody is much concerned about anyone but our fear makes everything much complicated and we get compelled to live lonely.

Be simple, smiling and the real one and it helps lot in maintaining good relationship too. If anyone close to us feels that we are unapproachable than it is not good sign for a nice relationship.

We have seen many times people plan a lot for a picnic but as soon as they reach to the spot their mind starts focusing only on how and when to move back and they simply forget to feel the place howsoever nice it is. In the garden they can't enjoy the blooming roses, even can't see the sky which is colorful at morning and full of stars in the night. They simply ignore to see the beauty of dew dropped on a flower. They simply forget to take a single deep breath in the fresh air and so on.

Simplicity does not mean we should not have ambition. Individual destiny may be different but living a simple life can be gift to ourselves and a big fun for those who really makes it. Simplicity expands our inner space so we can feel more, observe more. We may compare this with a computer wherein if multiple programs run it becomes slow or sometime hangs too. So be simple and enjoy the life.
-- CA Ashok Madrecha

Nov 6, 2014

Cultivate a hobby


When life seems to be at standstill hobby can be an answer. Most of us have some hobbies but we don't pay much attention to them due to many constraints. Truly speaking hobby is like communicating with one self and if cultivated properly it provides valuable meaning to life.

One can choose a hobby or hobbies as per his or her wishes. We find people enjoying with painting, writing, playing some games, walking, gardening, speaking, advising, counselling, singing, traveling, meditating and so on. When we do something as per our choice, it makes us like talking to ourselves and we start expressing in true senses which bring out stagnancy set in our life. Now we must see one important fact that while choosing hobby ensure that whether it is really communication with oneself or it is just killing our time. For instance watching a television series is not a hobby it can be fun. I feel we should not classify such things in the hobby though one can find these very essential for him.

My point is that hobby should increase your inner pleasure and satisfaction level as you advance in devoting into it. There are many people around the world whose hobby took them to height and they converted it in their profession with great success too. In most of the cases people surrender and compromise with their hobbies and eventually they loose charm in life. Once charm and inspiration lost, it becomes difficult to come out of negativity which haunts on a sustained basis and this makes us compelled to think about our hobbies which enables us to talk with our own soul really.

Jul 4, 2014

आलंबन (Dependence)



असुरक्षा की भावनाओ से ओत प्रोत हम हर वक्त आलंबन की तलाश करते रहते हें। क्यों स्वयं की क्षमता पर हम भरोसा नहीं करते ? हमेशा हम जाने अनजाने किसी ओर के सहारे से सब ठीक होगा ऐसा क्यों सोचने लग जाते हे ?
अन्दर का डर या आलसीपन या फिर सब यही कर रहे हे इसलिए मुझे भी ऐसा करना चाहिए। यदि हम विश्लेषण करे तो आश्चर्य होगा की कमोबेश हर व्यक्ति किसी अन्य व्यक्ति, स्थान या परिस्तिथि विशेष पर आश्रित सी जिंदगी जीता हे। यदि इसे अव्यक्त गुलामी भी कहा जाय तो कोई अतिशयोक्ति नहीं होगी। दूर द्रष्टी का नहीं होना इसका एक लक्षण अथवा कारण दोनों हो सकते हे।
हमारा स्वभाव स्वतंत्र हे परन्तु हम उसके सही स्वरुप को पुरी तरह नहीं पहचानते। जरा सा हिचकोला हमारे विश्वास को जड़ तक हिला देता हे।
ऐसा क्यों होता हे ? जन्म से अब तक हम सभी का परिवेश ही एसा हे कि हम सोचते भी उसी अनुरूप हे जेसे सब कुछ बाहर से ही संचालित होता हे भीतर की यात्रा के लिए तनिक भी तैयार नहीं हे।
सामान्य से सामान्य विषयों में हम धर्म, बाहरी शक्तियों ,कोई व्यक्ति विशेष, अथवा अन्य प्रतिको से अपेक्षा रखते हुए अपने निजी कार्यो का संपादन करा लेने की अपेक्षा रखते हे ओर अपेक्षित परिणाम नहीं मिलने पर इन माध्यमो को जाने अनजाने कोसने लग जाते हे और अपने प्रयत्नों पर जोर देना लगभग छोड़ देते हे।
हर वक़्त अवलंबन (Dependence) की मनोस्थिति के कारण जीवन को हम अच्छे से जी नहीं पाते।  उदाहरण के लिए उत्सव आनंद देने के बजाय तनाव देते हे। स्वतंत्रता की पहचान आनंद में व्यक्त हो तो ही हम कह सकते हे कि हमारे प्रयत्न सही दिशा में हे।

Jun 4, 2014

प्यार का संदेश (Message of Love )


हर रंग की चमक में बसते हो
कोई से भी गम में हँसते हो।
ये दिलेरी हे या अदाकारी
प्रेरित हो या , खुद की समझदारी।
बख़ूबी सब कुछ छुपाते हो
बस सिर्फ मुस्कराते हो।
मासूम चेहरा, इरादों से बुलंद हो
बोलते कम , बड़े स्वछंद हो।
हर पल ख्याल तेरा ही क्यों आता हे
क्या नाम दू इसे , जाने कौनसा नाता हे।
गीतों के गुंजन से भरा तेरे लबो का अहसास
समझ भी लेते मन की बात , तुम काश।
अब दूर नहीं रहना हे
मुझे कुछ कहना हे।
ये पैगाम पढ़कर रुक मत जाना
देर हुई पहले ही , अब मत सताना।
 ये हे प्यार का फ़साना , अब क्या जताना
मेरे मीत जल्दी आना , बस जल्दी आना।
------------ Ashok Madrecha

May 22, 2014

You Knew It ... Still...

 



1. We can not make everyone happy at a time :To become decisive,we must accept the fact that everyone wont be happy by your actions and we should be ready for that. Your boss may be happy but your subordinates may not, your parents would be happy but spouse may not .

2. Changes are inevitable : to lead a balanced life we should be well aware of that everything changes except the change itself.  I agree , you have read it many times , you know it but while behaving with one or more we forget it and put ourselves in trouble repeatedly. We take something so seriously as if without it sky would fall and our actions start finding wrong directions.


3. Be pragmatic, not dogmatic. : world over most of the successful people's history shows that they were pragmatic and this led them to more acceptance and thereby more success too. Here one should differentiate flexibility and compromise well as per time and situation. Being practical in our approach is very useful in business too.





4. More we are selfish, more unhappiness. :simple rule to happiness is to remain selfless and unattached as much possible as we can. Tonnes of research paper one may find on attaining happiness, I would like to summarize and state that living for self only is not life one should always strive to be good and useful to others too and this will first big step to happiness.  

5. Understand well what governs our life , money, name or something else : if we can understand what really we need at particular stage of life then our efforts would not make us tired early. I would like to mention here that it is better to allow qualities to govern your life instead of a particular person.


6. Measure your freedom from time to time : everyone likes freedom. may be it is financial, social or else. As life advances we should have clarity about it. are we serious about it or just passing time. freedom itself is a big source of happiness.


7. Relate every decision with the time factor: deciding something requires input of time factor. Every decision has to be taken after considering time factor. for example, Mr. John is curious about investing in good home at his native place which is very far from his working place. He thinks he would be staying there for 10 days in a year. This decision should be taken in light of the time factor. What is the age of Mr. John, How healthy he is to commute ?
whether he would be able to maintain the house without going there. This is mere an example to take right decision.

8. If health is wealth then why one should ignore it: commonly it is said that health is wealth but in our routine life we
commonly ignore it too. Paying attention and sparing adequate time for health is must and there is no other option to this. adequate exercise, meditation, proper diet pattern has to be followed religiously.

9. Relationship is not just planting a tree , it requires water regularly: all relations are like plants and these requires water at regular intervals. Mostly we find that initially lot of enthusiasm is shown in any new relationship and after sometime maintaining it takes back seat resulting into break ups. Wise   people understands it and keep their relationship live and vibrant.




10. Confusion creates cowards so be sure about yourself: in my seminar, many time I find people are suffering just because they are confused.I suggest here we should always break questions and try to resolve them. Our approach of getting all answers at a time makes confusion more strong. a separate write up on confusion is written on this blog in article section.

    
11. Destiny , religion may be good to understand but taking efforts in right direction is must to achieve something: considerable part of time is spent on discussing what is destiny , where is god, What is religion etc. I would put it this way being spiritual is good but different than what is discussed academically. As an individual our thought process and actions should be focused on what is to be achieved specifically.

 
12. Accept good and bad both: We are happy if we are comfortable. This is human nature that we accept goodness, comfort, love, favor, service, different kind of gadgets but we don't like discomforts , orders, hate, etc. Point here is that everything carries good and bad elements both. If a person loves someone and hates his or her voice , can this work for long ? We have to accept bad and good both simultaneously more particularly in relationship.

     
13. If you don't have good relation with your neighbors, relatives, friends, family members simultaneously then introspect in deep: If you are facing such situation then something is wrong within you and it requires introspection. Just have a second thought about yourself and see what can be changed at your end first.


14. Never say anyone that you are wrong instead make them feel they are wrong if required. But this should not be the aim of life as it consumes lot of energy. Giving space is better than proving someone wrong.


15. Respect and love can not be attained by demanding : it is funny when we come across people seeking respect and love just by demanding. These people are desperate and feel like this is their right and all this leads them to no where.  life is an art of living where love blossoms and respect too showers on deserving and this can not be attained by demanding.


16. Take small steps first before you leap: any mission or goal can be accomplished on sound footing and for that one need to take small steps first. Any plan, team, resources and networking etc. requires grip on minute details hence taking leap is always advised after some small crucial steps.


17. Develop niche in some areas of your choice to make yourself valuable: Many people come with complaints of being not valued, not paid adequately in their job or else. I simply ask them do they update their knowledge  ? Do they have niche in some area where they can become unique or outstanding? if not then strive for this and these complaints will go away.  


18. Peace is the answer not the enmity: never say anybody enemy. Hostility destroys peace and without peace progress can not be achieved. Even due to some event or otherwise somebody is hostile try to overcome such hostility. Some liberal postures and actions can change whole life. I know well many diplomats would not agree to me.


19. Be Simple : living in your true being is relaxing so be simple. Complex life is very stressful. Even if you are wealthy, top achiever in any field , be polite , smiling .... may be you are a great leader of near future !  
   
20. Even after following all the above if you feel things are not as per your expectation , take pause, relax, life teaches you for better role and of course time too changes so don't worry at all, have courage .

Life may seems to be  battles
there are roses and patels
both are there cold and heat
heart is soft keep clean and neat
you may be fathers or mothers too
be happy and keep happy others too..


This article is written after deep study on many cases from different perspective. I wish every word of this write up will be useful not only to an individual but to organizations, societies, or even countries too. I personally dedicate this write up to entire humanity and those counselors who are putting serious efforts to bring happiness in others life selflessly. I appeal all my readers to share this article for spreading knowledge about living life in harmony .... thanks.. 
                                                                                   Ashok Madrecha 

Efforts कोशिश

बेशकीमती वक्त को मत जाया कर हासिल होगी मंजिल बस तू कोशिश तो कर ...। निकल बाहर हर भ्रम से रोज घूमता इधर उधर थोड़ा संभल और चलने की बस तू कोशिश...