Showing posts with label Article. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Article. Show all posts

Nov 1, 2020

Orientation Matters in Life




People Crave for Results, but Want Them for Free

 

People crave for results, fruits, comfort, pleasant situations, power, fame, good health, fashion, glamour, and so many things. Surprisingly, many of them want it all for free, with no sacrifice.

 

The word "free" is very attractive and probably searched frequently on all search engines. In my 30 years of practice, I have experienced this closely with people of almost all age groups. The situation is so discouraging that if you advise someone to pursue something and take some pain, they feel offended.

 

What does this mean? It means that some people only want to take, collect, manage to have, and never give apart. They don't want to be bothered, and all this reflects their orientation as a person. In the age of technology, we find people believing more and more in "things will settle automatically" and the outcome will be as per their requirement.

 

Doing Nothing and Expecting All Good is a Big Theft

 

Please allow me to be rude to say that thieves are not just the people who steal something. Doing nothing and expecting all good is a big theft too. In fact, it hurts constantly if it has become a habit.

 

How to Overcome This Orientation or Mentality

 

Now, the question comes, how to overcome such orientation or mentality? There are two kinds of people:

 

Those who want change, but just lack motivation or some kind of backing.

Those who are by nature big thieves and always avoid taking efforts.

For the second kind of people, to be very frank, no outside motivation works. They will repeatedly go through a number of lessons in life until they really understand. By the time they understand, time would have gone for them to make a change. I know I am rude here in writing this truth, but it would be unjustified if I don't show the real picture.

 

For those who want to make a real change, I would like to go on writing.

 

Count Your Active Life Left, and Be Realistic

 

Count your active life left, and be realistic. See who are the people whom you never noticed, but helping you without expectations. I know many of you would answer, "I don't have time." But just think, if everyone says the same thing, no one will have time for others, and our tiny world would become more selfish, which is already happening.

 

It's your call, it's your priority or orientation, which will define your destiny too.

 

Don't Lose Hope

 

Don't lose hope. Initially, it will sound very odd because you are not attuned to "work-deserve-results" mode. Gradually, it will be your new normal. And, have my words, you will be proud of yourself with a wonderful feeling of good life with better orientation.

 

CA Ashok Madrecha



Dec 11, 2015

Programme the Brain



We are on or off is a question. While alive we can say we are on and on expiry we are off. There are other situations, while slipping or in unconscious state, can we say we are on or off. Till we are alive we are engaged so we are on and till the death there is constant programming and our brain too writes complex codes of our life software. One has to understand this programming. Take one example, a person travel overnight by bus and while taking breakfast in morning at his home he feels as if he is traveling and moving in a bus. Many of us had such experience. The point here is that to understand what is the reason behind such experience. The reason is that our brain stores data and if there is repeated situations it creates memory slots which gradually becomes in built programmes which if not checked forms habit and then the mind works in sync with such memory slots.

 The moot point here is that there are two type of brain programmes one which are known to us and the others which are not felt or known completely even when these run in our mind and command body. For instance while digesting food and while breathing, our attention is not sought by body in general.

Now let us think about why it is important to know about brain programming for achieving balancing in life. When we know that repeated instructions or situations leads our brain to react in that direction then it becomes very important how to stay positive and avoid negative thoughts and people both. If you are in company of extreme negative people than very high chance you too start behaving negatively and the reverse too is true. A vigilant person can train his own brain what kind of programming it should seek or not at all. Actually speaking reading about all this programming by the brain would be always little than the practical experience. If remain awakened about our actions and surrounding situations we can write our own program of blessed life and create divine realm around us truly.

Jan 15, 2015

Simplicity forgotten


Just think and find honest answers of these questions :

How many friends we have with whom we can really share our feelings ?
With the advancing age numbers of our friends are increasing or decreasing?
Do people feel that we are out of reach for them to meet or say something?
Do we too feel lonely all the time?

 If the answers are affirmative of these questions than we must be sure about the fact that we have lost our simplicity and due to this suffering to a lot.

A child remains happy because he is unaware of complexity of life but a man or woman remains happy "sometimes". Why sometime, why not most of the time? Things are made complicated by ourselves only. We walk but think of dress code, or even the type of shoes we should wear. We wish to move around but think often what type of company we should have. We wish to sing a song but afraid of what people will comment and so on. In reality nobody is much concerned about anyone but our fear makes everything much complicated and we get compelled to live lonely.

Be simple, smiling and the real one and it helps lot in maintaining good relationship too. If anyone close to us feels that we are unapproachable than it is not good sign for a nice relationship.

We have seen many times people plan a lot for a picnic but as soon as they reach to the spot their mind starts focusing only on how and when to move back and they simply forget to feel the place howsoever nice it is. In the garden they can't enjoy the blooming roses, even can't see the sky which is colorful at morning and full of stars in the night. They simply ignore to see the beauty of dew dropped on a flower. They simply forget to take a single deep breath in the fresh air and so on.

Simplicity does not mean we should not have ambition. Individual destiny may be different but living a simple life can be gift to ourselves and a big fun for those who really makes it. Simplicity expands our inner space so we can feel more, observe more. We may compare this with a computer wherein if multiple programs run it becomes slow or sometime hangs too. So be simple and enjoy the life.
-- CA Ashok Madrecha

Jan 4, 2015

Art of refusal



In general while maintaining our decency level of behavior we develop a tendency to accept everything which even we do not like to do and forget the concept of refusing. If refusing is not kept in mind we will land up at total mess at work or even in our social relations too. lets have a look at one example:

A professional lawyer having enough level of practice never said no to any assignment coming to him. The resulting scenario of his office is:
1. The boss is always busy
2. The employees too seem to be busy but reporting and execution level quite a week
3. Professional fee billing is increasing but net bottom-line almost stagnant
4. Office environment quite stressful
5. Always staff and boss both working beyond office hours  
5. Total system almost in a mess and so on.

Social side of the same Lawyer above:

Being in profession for a long time he has developed social and personal relations with the clients well but due to his ignorance about the art of refusal the scenario of his personal life is:
1. Can not spare enough time for family.
2. Shrewd people make use of him.
3. There seems to be no planning in life as such.
4. Financial independence is good but level of satisfaction is very low.
5. Developing health hazards.
6. Total absence of fun, joy, peace and so on.    

We can visualize what can be the impact of ignoring the concept of refusal by the example. Now lets think on "How to Say No and Refuse"

First we have to develop firmness about ourselves, decide what we require and what not. What are our resources and at what cost of time, energy and monetary level we can afford to do a particular task in a given time frame. if not, We must refuse it and avoid such mess which makes our life hell. Time is precious and it is allotted to all in terms of age and that too in the limited slot then why we should neglect it. Now lets have a look at different ways to say "No"

1. Say directly No where we have no personal bindings or relationship.
2. Develop our system (office norms, policy of working etc.) to handle the refusal.
3. We can put the burden of refusal on lack of resources. I mean we can simply say no due to non availability of some resource hence we won't be able to accomplish a task or assignment.
4. Sometime task itself does not require perfection, then do only what is required. this too is a kind of  limited refusal.
5. Delegation of task at different levels, in other words creating layers makes us easy to say No. 

The lawyer knew all this well and decided to change himself. He listed all the areas where he was just taking the assignments which were not remunerated enough and could be avoided. He seriously applied the concept of refusal and what happened just see here:

1. His stress level came down considerably.
2. At the beginning his professional fee billing came down by 20% but after a few months it increased with the addition of more new good clients and his profitability (bottom line) also improved in a positive direction.
3. He was far more confident person than earlier
4. Clarity about life emerged and he started enjoying quality time with family and friends.
5. His health too improved.
6. Ultimately he is more rich and knew well that what is really meaningful to him.
     
I hope knowing the art of refusal can help anyone to have the right balance in life. This article is based on my practical experience of more than 25 years and many interactive seminars I have addressed so far. If you like it , please share it for a nice cause of helping others.
Ashok Madrecha
  

Nov 26, 2014

Are We Original ?



Imbalance in life has set so deep in our life that we are completely modified and living in an artificial state of mind. Our originality is lost and we have become totally a different person.

Let's test our originality and ask ourselves some questions :

1. Can we smile in real ?
2. Can we laugh freely ?
3. Do we feel close to our family ?
4. Can we really define our own happiness ?
5. Do we enjoy being with our friends ?
6. Are we afraid of something all the time ?
7. Have art and hobbies completely evaporated from our life ?
8. Feeling fed up ?

Such honest questioning will open our heart and pave way to do really meaningful in life. We are not taking adequate pauses while remaining in the race. This causes our inner system highly stressed and prone to failure. What for we are in the race ? We must ensure that whether it is just for the sake of showing off or it is really needed. We don't have time to read or discuss such things as we are not original now.

There may be varied reasons for loosing originality like attaining prosperity, meeting some accident, bad health, reaching a powerful position, the disloyalty of some closed friend or relative, break up in any relationship and the list goes on.

Most negative part of loosing originality is that those who lost it, they simply don't agree to this and continue to suffer for a prolonged time or forever sometime.

Mute question is how to remain original. There are symptoms we must observe and knowing these would make it easier to remain original.

We must observe and find answers to these questions :

Does our friend visit or contact us less as compared to earlier ?
Do we feel isolated in our society?
Do people respect us from the heart or just for some compulsion ?
If working, Are we sought after or avoided by subordinates ?

Such introspection may bring some real changes if we are honest with ourselves. In fact an original person only can enjoy life and every moment of it. Being original makes us stress free always as we are not pretending anything and close to nature and ultimately more meaning to our life too.

Jul 25, 2014

Express Completely


Life provides us opportunities to express ourselves on varied fronts, be it social, academic, carrier wise, public forums or at personal level. Many of us not even recognise these opportunities and defer our decision to work on that and this all leads us to live without effectiveness. We as human being are most intellectual creature of the nature but our intelligence if not used properly can work against our own. 

Some questions we may ask to ourselves :

What debars us expressing completely in our deeds ?
Why hesitation takes prime place while working?
Why we do not create a sound image of ourselves?
Do we perform half heartedly?
Are we really interested in what we are doing ?
Do the outcome inspire us to  work towards it?
Is it a person , location or situation compelling to work ?
Are we so much compelled that we can not make the change we imagined ?

If we can find honest answers of all these questions from ourselves , a kind of clarity we can have towards the life we really wish to live.
whatever we do, barring very few exception of diplomacy , express yourself completely to the extent you can and it will culminate into a big success even you did not sought sometime. half way expressing brings monotony in life , be it job, carrier, education, society or even loving someone.

May 22, 2014

You Knew It ... Still...

 



1. We can not make everyone happy at a time :To become decisive,we must accept the fact that everyone wont be happy by your actions and we should be ready for that. Your boss may be happy but your subordinates may not, your parents would be happy but spouse may not .

2. Changes are inevitable : to lead a balanced life we should be well aware of that everything changes except the change itself.  I agree , you have read it many times , you know it but while behaving with one or more we forget it and put ourselves in trouble repeatedly. We take something so seriously as if without it sky would fall and our actions start finding wrong directions.


3. Be pragmatic, not dogmatic. : world over most of the successful people's history shows that they were pragmatic and this led them to more acceptance and thereby more success too. Here one should differentiate flexibility and compromise well as per time and situation. Being practical in our approach is very useful in business too.





4. More we are selfish, more unhappiness. :simple rule to happiness is to remain selfless and unattached as much possible as we can. Tonnes of research paper one may find on attaining happiness, I would like to summarize and state that living for self only is not life one should always strive to be good and useful to others too and this will first big step to happiness.  

5. Understand well what governs our life , money, name or something else : if we can understand what really we need at particular stage of life then our efforts would not make us tired early. I would like to mention here that it is better to allow qualities to govern your life instead of a particular person.


6. Measure your freedom from time to time : everyone likes freedom. may be it is financial, social or else. As life advances we should have clarity about it. are we serious about it or just passing time. freedom itself is a big source of happiness.


7. Relate every decision with the time factor: deciding something requires input of time factor. Every decision has to be taken after considering time factor. for example, Mr. John is curious about investing in good home at his native place which is very far from his working place. He thinks he would be staying there for 10 days in a year. This decision should be taken in light of the time factor. What is the age of Mr. John, How healthy he is to commute ?
whether he would be able to maintain the house without going there. This is mere an example to take right decision.

8. If health is wealth then why one should ignore it: commonly it is said that health is wealth but in our routine life we
commonly ignore it too. Paying attention and sparing adequate time for health is must and there is no other option to this. adequate exercise, meditation, proper diet pattern has to be followed religiously.

9. Relationship is not just planting a tree , it requires water regularly: all relations are like plants and these requires water at regular intervals. Mostly we find that initially lot of enthusiasm is shown in any new relationship and after sometime maintaining it takes back seat resulting into break ups. Wise   people understands it and keep their relationship live and vibrant.




10. Confusion creates cowards so be sure about yourself: in my seminar, many time I find people are suffering just because they are confused.I suggest here we should always break questions and try to resolve them. Our approach of getting all answers at a time makes confusion more strong. a separate write up on confusion is written on this blog in article section.

    
11. Destiny , religion may be good to understand but taking efforts in right direction is must to achieve something: considerable part of time is spent on discussing what is destiny , where is god, What is religion etc. I would put it this way being spiritual is good but different than what is discussed academically. As an individual our thought process and actions should be focused on what is to be achieved specifically.

 
12. Accept good and bad both: We are happy if we are comfortable. This is human nature that we accept goodness, comfort, love, favor, service, different kind of gadgets but we don't like discomforts , orders, hate, etc. Point here is that everything carries good and bad elements both. If a person loves someone and hates his or her voice , can this work for long ? We have to accept bad and good both simultaneously more particularly in relationship.

     
13. If you don't have good relation with your neighbors, relatives, friends, family members simultaneously then introspect in deep: If you are facing such situation then something is wrong within you and it requires introspection. Just have a second thought about yourself and see what can be changed at your end first.


14. Never say anyone that you are wrong instead make them feel they are wrong if required. But this should not be the aim of life as it consumes lot of energy. Giving space is better than proving someone wrong.


15. Respect and love can not be attained by demanding : it is funny when we come across people seeking respect and love just by demanding. These people are desperate and feel like this is their right and all this leads them to no where.  life is an art of living where love blossoms and respect too showers on deserving and this can not be attained by demanding.


16. Take small steps first before you leap: any mission or goal can be accomplished on sound footing and for that one need to take small steps first. Any plan, team, resources and networking etc. requires grip on minute details hence taking leap is always advised after some small crucial steps.


17. Develop niche in some areas of your choice to make yourself valuable: Many people come with complaints of being not valued, not paid adequately in their job or else. I simply ask them do they update their knowledge  ? Do they have niche in some area where they can become unique or outstanding? if not then strive for this and these complaints will go away.  


18. Peace is the answer not the enmity: never say anybody enemy. Hostility destroys peace and without peace progress can not be achieved. Even due to some event or otherwise somebody is hostile try to overcome such hostility. Some liberal postures and actions can change whole life. I know well many diplomats would not agree to me.


19. Be Simple : living in your true being is relaxing so be simple. Complex life is very stressful. Even if you are wealthy, top achiever in any field , be polite , smiling .... may be you are a great leader of near future !  
   
20. Even after following all the above if you feel things are not as per your expectation , take pause, relax, life teaches you for better role and of course time too changes so don't worry at all, have courage .

Life may seems to be  battles
there are roses and patels
both are there cold and heat
heart is soft keep clean and neat
you may be fathers or mothers too
be happy and keep happy others too..


This article is written after deep study on many cases from different perspective. I wish every word of this write up will be useful not only to an individual but to organizations, societies, or even countries too. I personally dedicate this write up to entire humanity and those counselors who are putting serious efforts to bring happiness in others life selflessly. I appeal all my readers to share this article for spreading knowledge about living life in harmony .... thanks.. 
                                                                                   Ashok Madrecha 

Apr 24, 2014

Arrangements to enjoyment


From our childhood to old age we are constantly arranging something or another with an objective to make life more comfortable or enjoyable.Irony of this situation is that in the process of arrangement we lose our balance in life and the stage of enjoyment is always postponed repeatedly rendering us to live in humiliating and uncertain situation for prolonged time.
Initially everybody tries to be secure and earning is essential part of journey for creation of wealth but at certain stage many people whose living hood is secured get crazy for respect and recognition which they wish to buy but respect can not be bought and this lead them to follow unfair means. They spend money and time too to attain respect of the society but instead of respect they create some sort of commercial brand value which again may be useful for their business but recognition of hearts requires giving something without any expectation and very few person can dare to this. Most people having such hunger for recognition try every way to get noticed which in reality is sheer falsehood.funny part of this process is that more they are     
noticed more they are found to be running after it. On one hand they feel proud,on other hand they become slave of either some individual, thing, or some specific situation which essentially changes with passage of time not necessarily up to or with their expectations. The journey of arranging recognition originally sounded well suddenly puts them to no where and such people starts feeling vacuum and fair amount of distraction. Stunning fact of this aspect of life is more true about most learned, educated and people who are well to do. Such people always look after real friends but rarely it happens as they are sitting on heap of ego which prevents them to come down and share their real inner self with any one. These people then feel stuck up in
one way traffic with only option to move ahead with same mistake of only arranging and not managing.People known to them have mercy on them but they are even unable to feel all this. So what can be the lesson ? Can't we say while arranging, We should also keep managing and enjoy life bestowed upon us.
Thanks
Ashok Madrecha

Apr 8, 2014

Short Story on Gratitude (कृतज्ञता )

Human being is always in mode of expecting something and this compels one to know everything about gratitude and its importance in achieving balance in life.
Let us go through a short story of three friends. There were three friends knowing each other since long time. Name of the friends are Mr. Confused, second Mr. Sure and third Mr. Rich. Interestingly while Mr. Confused was good at study, innovative and hardworking too, Mr. Sure was good at study, practical and highly trustworthy person in the eyes of people in their circle and Mr. Rich was business minded, simple, calculative and a wealthy person.

Mr. Confused though hardworking could not succeed in his carrier. Mr. Sure was successful in his carrier and also had high regard among his friends, client and society as well. Mr. Rich was quiet successful in building wealth but due to his over occupied scheduled life, he was not having much circle of friends etc.

After many year of struggling Mr. Confused who was hardworking succeed in developing some technology which was to be used in the field of biotechnology industry and with this he started giving presentation to different person in the field for some tie-up or professional income. After long time of efforts, nothing was materialised and one fine day Mr. Confused told this to his friend Mr. Sure and asked if he can do something for him. Mr. Sure studied and asked Mr. Confused, see though your technique may be good and new, it has to be tested so I will ask someone to invest in a pilot project and see what can be achieved and if at all there is a profit, you may distribute among you and the investor. Mr. Confused asked to keep some share but Mr. Sure being liberal told as your need is acute at present so you carry on with your profits if any.

Mr. Sure called his friend Mr. Rich and briefed about the project of Mr. Confused. After deliberating on it Mr. Rich told Mr. Sure, see as such I have enough wealth but on your words I can put some money and see how the equation works without any risk on part of Mr. Sure.

So Mr. Sure arranged all meetings to finalise the deal and the pilot project started working. After a period of 12 months all the accounts were drawn, finalised and there was a good amount of profit too.

All three friends assembled and in presence of Mr. Sure, both Mr. Confused and Mr. Rich distributed the whole profit and they were looking happy while taking the money at their home.

Now I ask what would be the state of mind of Mr. Sure while both his friends were distributing the profit. Though he already declined sharing of profit earlier can a human being would not think like……. Had I decided to share the profit I would have been in a better position now.

After some time Mr. Confused called Mr. Rich to invest more and Mr. Rich in turn called Mr. Sure about this and told again I can invest more on the project but only on you words.

Now crux of the story comes. Will Mr. Sure pay attention to these calls from Mr. Rich or Mr. Confused? Naturally he replied to Mr. Rich this is you to decide about further investment, I am not sure about it. Consequently Mr. Rich came out of the venture and Mr. Confused became really confused and thought... Even after profit things did not turn to his side.

Friend, here comes the real importance of gratitude. In the above story both Mr. Rich and Mr. Confused never expressed their gratitude of Mr. Sure who was the key to the whole deal. They simply took their part of money and thus never realised that all happed because of the very role Mr. Sure played for both of them. Mr. Sure was liberal while declining share of profit but Mr. Confused and Mr. Rich jointly could share something voluntarily and offer a respect to Mr. Sure but lack of gratitude led them to breakup of the whole deal where the profit in future could be much more.
Every time we ask for favour, but we forget to thank. Thanks may be given by words or in kind like proper gifts at proper time and so on. One should not be thankless to anybody who has helped or supported to him and if we follow this we can say yes this is gratitude, not attitude.
----- Ashok Madrecha 

Mar 8, 2014

How to Overcome confusion

This article is written with focus on creating work life balance , making decision making process smooth and thereby improving life overall.

How to Overcome confusion

Striking balance in life essentially requires anyone to stay in focus, come out of doubt and to be more specific, overcoming all confusion which hinders progress. I would like to divide this whole chapter of confusion in four parts:
1) What is confusion - Understand it well
2) What level it is affecting / governing our life
3) Tips to overcome confusion
4) Benefits of overcoming confusion

1) What is confusion - Understand it well : in simple words we can say any indecisiveness is confusion. Yes,true, but I would put it this way , first you can call a situation which is dilemma and other is real confusion. While in dilemma one is not sure of choosing one out of two options available, confusion is far wider subject and one can have different options to overcome it depending upon one's resources, ability and efforts etc. for that.Confusion is a state of mind due to some internal or external reasons and it haunts mind and consumes lot of energy too , of course.

2) What level it is affecting / governing our life: Now let us understand the level of confusion which is governing our life.
There are some interesting people and even corporates.they face confusion and start working on that very systemically, chase this and find solution and sometime business opportunity too. This I would say Level 1 of confusion.
There are some different sort of people who are confusedbut just for time being. they are alert and seek help of others and overcome confusion. this is level 2 of confusion.
There are people who have developed tendency to remain confused unknowingly and their whole behavior, style of living too is constantly affected. They are so much engrossed by such situation that they always live in unknown fear, uncertainty and many of them have gone to level of depression too. this I would say Level 3 of confusion.

3) Tips to Overcome Confusion : 
a) Analise how relevant is this to you.If the confusion itself is not relevant to you why you are confused?
b) Try yourself to find answer first
c) If not possible, seek help of your network which may be from your mentors,parents,friends, relatives.
d) Make use of other sources like internet, search engines, books and other reference materials
    available   to you.
e) Note all your options and ask yourself what can be best and what will be the worst if you take some
    decision to overcome confusion.
f) Count your blessings, take honest efforts and leave the result up to destiny.
g) After applying all the above if you are fearless then mind well, this confidence itself will take you out
    from the confusion.


4) Benefits of Overcoming Confusion : 
Once we overcome confusion positive vibes starts flowing and the benefits too. some of the major benefits are as under:
a) Life begin full of confidence and I repeat , it essentially heals all wounds which were hindering the path of progress.
b) One gets focused and a person of conviction with some aims to achieve.
c) Goals are well defined and they start taking shape in real terms.
d) People start respecting you as you are not called so confused one.
e) Wealth is attracted may be through carrier, job,business or practice you pursue.
f) There are many benefits but in short and at Last I would say it makes you totally different, a most sought person in your circle.

All the best. 

Feb 2, 2014

How To Be Successful


Intensify your efforts
Be focused
Avoid Unrelated Work
Arrange your Priorities
Put Your Energy in Right Direction
Build Network
Use Resources more efficiently
Develop Leadership Qualities
Spare Time to Introspect
Never Give up
Keep Your Morale High
Value your Instincts
Take Initiative
Innovate to Accomplish your tasks fast
Be Sound and have Niche
Win Hearts
Update Your Knowledge
Hone your Skills
And Most Important, BE POSITIVE..




Efforts कोशिश

बेशकीमती वक्त को मत जाया कर हासिल होगी मंजिल बस तू कोशिश तो कर ...। निकल बाहर हर भ्रम से रोज घूमता इधर उधर थोड़ा संभल और चलने की बस तू कोशिश...