Showing posts with label Self Improvement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self Improvement. Show all posts

Jul 31, 2016

Short Quotes on life


Evaluate yourself.. how many people you supported, how many appreciate you and to what extent it makes you happy. All these will make you understand better about your life and suddenly a change of 360 degree angle may become reality.
बताइये ... यदि हम हमारे सारे कार्यों , विचारों एवं संपर्कों , सभी में "मेरा क्या" और "मेरा कितना" इसी पर अपना ध्यान केंद्रित करते रहेंगे तो जीवन में सच्ची खुशियां कैसे प्राप्त करेंगे। परमार्थ में जिसने स्वार्थ खोज लिया उन्हें मेरा मेरा करने की जरुरत ही नहीं रहती।
Thinking from others perspective can make lot of difference in any relationship. Forgiveness is noble, it's never a defeat. Following noble thoughts will certainly bring happiness, just trust.
Having clarity about your priorities is a big achievement. Generally we are confused in choosing right priorities at different stages of life. Money, freedom and inner happiness are three basic choices available. Decide what exactly you wish to achieve and be happy in rest of your life.
Wishing someone on birthday or anniversary may seem to be routine but don't leave this, it is nice way to remain connected. Positive vibes are always for sharing and it prevents you from feeling lonely too.
Jealousy has strange feature, it is always born between related or known people. The moment you achieve something better than others, you don't have to create opponents, they sprout spontaneously. Only precaution you can take is, limit your display.
Right postures, proper breathing and a heart full of nice feeling leads your life out of chaos and all these makes you more healthy.
This is Info-tech age, tonnes of information are thrown around us. We have to choose what to see, process, accept, reject or simply ignore out of it.
"What I will get" can't be applied in every action. There are several occasions we come across where we should not think in this term. Many relations are sustaining because there are people who don't keep account of "what I will get"
You may not agree with someone but the way you differ, makes lot of difference.
अपने भम, पाले हुए डर और मान्यताओं पर गौर करो। जिंदगी को कभी दूसरे नजरिये से भी देखना चाहिए। सिर्फ अपने ही दृष्टिकोण से देखने से जीवन में ठहराव आ जाता है।
धार्मिक और आध्यात्मिक दो शब्द ऐसे है जिनका अंतर जानना जरूरी है। यदि आप धार्मिक हो तो आपके लिए बहुत से नियम इस संसार में पूर्वनिर्धारित है परन्तु यदि आप आध्यात्मिक हो तो आपको नियम की जरूरत शायद ही पड़े। 
 If you feel you missed something in life than just drop that thinking. It's damn sure even if you had achieved that, your worries would have remained for some other thing. It's all very common..take it easy and enjoy what your present offers you.
          ..... Ashok Madrecha 
          for more quotes click here


Jul 20, 2016

Start Living Life in Your Own Way




The great gap of our efforts and the yield creates a lot of dissatisfaction. Whenever I asked about life in my conferences, I noticed some common things prevailing such as lack of clarity, and everybody was more concerned about others. The funny part was that those who thought they are more committed to family, relatives, friends etc, they were more unhappy lot. In fact these people were in impression that they are doing a lot for family etc. but in turn they were emotionally bound and became more expecting from others but the Others were in comfortable zone and not thinking of the contribution made by their family members etc. One has to strike right kind of balance between self-development and helping others. 

We have to understand more about efforts, attachment and expectations. Being human, we take part in something, we stick to it without reason sometime, we start expecting returns, we behave like having sole onus of changing others. These are the set rules which govern our life. If we refresh our complete thought process and learn to accept changes and understand situations, joy of life will unleash forever. 

While taking more interest in others' life we completely forget about our own creativity. Everyone of us is unique and own some skill or art which is special but we hardly find enough time to nurture it as we are very busy studying others affairs. Living life in own way is awesome. When we shift our attention from others to ourselves we start knowing self and suddenly direction of life becomes reality. Some tips in nutshell:

6. If really decided, avoid procrastination and enjoy living life in your own way.

Mar 19, 2016

#Meaningful Life


Any wise person would definitely feel at some point of time and he would be compelled to think  what is the purpose of life. If this becomes clear, life finds its meaning. Finding a purpose is all matter of individual choice and there can not be a rule of thumb. Let us analyze and try following three steps to get as near as possible to reach a process of finding a purpose in life so the true happiness is attained.


Step 1 : Ascertain symptoms of purposeless life: 


We find people saying :
I feel just bored living a routine life.
I wish more freedom.
I feel my friends and relatives avoid me.
If something happened like this I would have done extremely well.
I don't like anybody in this world.
This world is hopeless.
I am just alive.
Even if I extend favor people forget it.
Where is happiness.
Life is all challenge.
I want a complete change.
There should be a nice person with me to whom I can share everything
and so on...

If you feel anything like the above, then this is true that you are not living a meaningful life. You are living a life either full of unrealistic expectations or you are completely directionless.

Let us go further to the second step,

Step 2 : Ensure purpose of life to make it meaningful

It is mentioned earlier that this is an individual choice but we can start thinking this way and find it as soon as possible:

Accept first, everything is not ours and we are not compelled  to react to everything what happens around us even if it is affecting us. The moment you assume something is yours, be it a person or object, worries of protecting it will be transferred to you so it is up to you what exactly you should own it or not.  What to seek and pursue is always our choice but that doesn't mean we follow everything which comes in our way. Ascertain well in which field we can excel and at what point of our age we are. Take proper stock of resources available and correlate everything to have proper direction. One should also think what makes her or him happy. At some point of time one can be happy with something and may not at other point of time. If something has gone forever it must be accepted. If something is available to others, that should not be your problem, In such thought process try to figure out what can be achieved by you at what cost and whether it is worth for you in terms of happiness or else.

Step 3 :  List your Goals and segregate them and act upon
 
Once you conclude very purpose or purposes of your life, set goals which may be of short-term and long-term. Of course every milestone may not give you happiness, but the result would make you happy if your direction is well thought and by this process you will be able to visualize how to set balance in life and figure out the true meaning in it.


Jun 22, 2015

Know Your True Potential




Knowing self is very important. True potential is seldom known. Typical apprehensions are common i.e. I can't do this, if I do I will fail, I am not the right person to pursue this and the list goes on. These apprehensions haunts us very badly. People around us make feel like this only as they carry such thoughts. Each person in this world is unique. There are huge possibilities if we really explore it by developing an unbiased thought process. Most of the time we don't know the level of skills, and abilities we own and remain deprived of the unbelievable benefits throughout our life. There are many examples. If we search history we find that how ordinary persons can convert themselves into outstanding achievers.

Actually we create our own boundaries and gradually get habitual of a set comfort zone which we don't wish to cross as if there is an ocean just besides it. We draw lines across our own path and most of the time these lines are results of fear and illusions which are totally nonexistent. Time provides nice opportunities but we feel like we don't deserve it and everything passes in front of our eyes. 

There are two type of personalities. First those who are self inspired and second, those who always need inspiration from outside. Those who fall in second type, should invariably strive to stay in company with people of positive mindset and read good books. One has to come out from negative thoughts and focus on " I can" and this will manifest their true potential. Many people I met during my motivational sessions and observed repeatedly that when they share their stories the most prominent fact comes on surface is that they didn't know themselves. They wait for some magical trigger which will change their life and all these thoughts makes them more vulnerable to inactions for a prolonged time.
Know well about your real limitations and simultaneously see to it that a little push in your efforts can make visible changes within you. I repeat, there is a huge potential, open doors and see "yes you can". It is true that entire world is not our own asset but there is something special in this world to own for everyone and that special space we have to find and know the true potential of ourselves.
Let's find it and make our life more balanced and meaningful.

CA Ashok Madrecha

Apr 5, 2015

Life - Stuck up or Straying ?



Dealing with Feelings of Stagnation and Wandering

Most of us occasionally find ourselves feeling bored or experiencing a significant decline in enthusiasm for life. If this feeling persists, it’s important to take it seriously and assess whether you’re stuck or simply straying off course. Life presents us with many questions—some have straightforward answers, while others do not—and it’s often these unanswered questions that leave us feeling this way.

Life is full of ups and downs, but those who possess clarity and the ability to overcome indecisiveness can better manage their state of mind and navigate life’s uncertainties.

Symptoms of Feeling Stuck or Straying:

  1. Aimless Wandering: Some people frequently go out without any specific purpose. This might also include taking unnecessary leaves from work without any real reason.

  2. Irritability: Their behavior becomes more irritable, especially towards family members and close friends.

  3. Procrastination: Even when there’s work to be done, they delay it. This procrastination is a common symptom, reducing their overall effectiveness.

  4. Excessive Use of Social Media: They become addicted to social media, spending hours updating their status and chatting with people who aren’t significant in their lives.

  5. Increased Consumption of Alcohol and Drugs: To escape their feelings of being stuck or lost, some may start drinking more or even resort to drugs.

  6. Seeking Happiness in Strangers: Interestingly, such individuals may look for happiness in strangers rather than in their trusted friends or relatives.

  7. Irregular Eating Habits: Their eating patterns become irregular, leading to a decline in their overall health.

  8. Lack of Interest in Work: Even if their job is secure, they lose interest and start applying for other positions.

  9. Sudden Aggression or Depression: Their reactions become unpredictable, with sudden outbursts of anger or bouts of depression.

  10. Seeking Unnecessary Approval: They may lose confidence in themselves and start seeking approval from others for every little decision.

  11. Blaming Themselves and Others Without Cause: They may start blaming themselves or others for no apparent reason, and this habit can become ingrained over time.

How to Overcome These Situations

If you notice these symptoms in a friend or relative, it’s important to take steps to help them. While there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, here are some strategies that might help:

  1. Be Practical: Practicality is key. Whether it’s work, goals, or other aspects of life, everything should be achievable and realistic. Often, things don’t work out because they aren’t practical, which leads to feelings of being stuck.

  2. Avoid Negative People: If someone is already struggling with indecisiveness, being around negative people will only make things worse. It’s better to avoid such influences.

  3. Consult a Trusted Mentor: If you have a mentor you trust, seek their advice. Share your feelings and symptoms with them.

  4. Engage in Creative Activities: When all other avenues seem closed, turn inward. Creative activities like gardening, painting, writing, or reading poetry can be very therapeutic.

  5. Refresh Your Goals: If your current goals seem out of reach, reassess and create a new list of goals that you truly want to pursue.

  6. Evaluate Your Direction: If you’re feeling stuck, make sure your efforts are aligned with the right direction. Reassess your path and start anew if necessary.

  7. Start Small: Begin with small, manageable steps. Expecting major results immediately is unrealistic.

  8. Know Your Limits: Understand the resources available to you and set your limits accordingly. Knowing your boundaries can prevent feelings of being stuck.

  9. Read Inspirational Books or Watch Motivational Movies: Inspirational content can be incredibly uplifting. Seek out books or movies that provoke thought and offer motivation.

  10. Change Your Environment: Spending time in a serene, natural environment with close friends or family can rejuvenate your spirit and bring new energy to your routine.

  11. Keep Your Hopes Alive: Above all, maintain hope. Remember, nothing is permanent—neither the good nor the bad. Challenges are opportunities for growth, and something new and better may be on the horizon.

It’s important to understand that feeling stuck and feeling like you’re straying are different experiences, though they can happen simultaneously. The key is to recognize your current situation and take steps to overcome it. By following the suggestions above, you can gain clarity and regain control of your life. If the issue involves another person, consider the situation from their perspective as well. What seems right for you may not be the same for them. Stay positive, and work towards making your life more balanced, lively, and vibrant. 

Ashok Madrecha




Mar 11, 2015

Connect or Reconnect Well


Life demands connecting and reconnecting with variety of people. It is very important to understand how we connect or reconnect with people. It is well-known fact that if we respect someone, it makes him happy and if we hurt his ego it would invite his anger. If we salute or shake hand with smiling face it makes a lot of difference. If an employee while attending his or her duty says good morning to boss, it makes difference. If two friends are meeting after a long time then they would notice each other how they are reconnecting. Successful people always balance their life by maintaining their behavior in right direction. I noticed many cases where promotion of particular employees was kept on hold explaining no reasons and the only reason was that the employee did not know the basic knowledge of how to connect well. Not only in job, it affects our personal life too. Take an example, a person arranged a party and invited many friends. One of his good friend could not come due to sickness of his spouse. The friend called and expressed his inability to come. While attending call, the person simply said OK and not even bothered to ask about health of his friend's spouse. Here we miss out badly and forget how to connect properly. If some sweet words can heal someone than why not to say and win heart too. Is it necessary to have some academic educational for all these gestures.

Sometime thinking of who will start first makes thing complex. Life is like a river and there are only two sides. We all too have to move and flow between these two sides only. My point here is that these two sides are always facing each other and they have to stay internally well-connected for the flow of the water. The same is true when we interact with someone and our inner self remains well-connected to communicate better and have a nice relationship too. The connecting or reconnecting naturally makes a lasting effect. There are different way to connect by meeting personally, talking on phone, gifting something, helping someone by extending a favor and so on. Let us connect better to have balance in our life. 


Mar 1, 2015

Exploring Options


Process of achieving any goal essentially travel through various options. We as human being knowingly or unknowingly creating or finding options and sometime it becomes a habit which affects our decisions leading to severe delays totally uncalled for.
 
Exploring options is a good process but it should have some limit and at certain stage one should strive to come out of options and settle somewhere within his or her limits. This applies to any field, be it carrier, study, education, a particular situation or relationship matters. While exploring options several facts come up on surface and that gives clarity about practical side of all the options available to any one. One has to see carefully all the facts about an option and that too from different point of view and then reach to a logical and practical conclusion without being affected by emotions attached to it. If there is confusion one can list out all the positive and negative side of an option and then filter out the points which are most suitable and applied to her or him to reach a conclusion.

The principle of calculating highest loss in any decision is applicable while an option is shortlisted for action. One must question himself both side, What if I go ahead and what if don't. Make honest comparison and the picture would be clear. Sometime the third option is available and that is "Don't go for any option" but generally such situations are rare. One should stay rational and take enough care that it does not make him or her regressive.

 When an option is opted, focus emerges, freedom to work is decided, direction gets defined and results too follow early. Crux of the matter is that  one has to go through the process of options but coming out of it is essential to move forward and striking right balance in life.        

Jan 26, 2015

What Governs Your Life ?


Life is available in limited time slots and we spend it with our own chosen path. It is very important for us to know what really governs our life. We grow with different priorities at different time but sometime we stay stuck up with a type of static mentality or set of mind and it starts governing our life either positively or negatively. There are permutations or combinations of what really governs us. Prominently these are the points which governs or controls us knowingly or unknowingly :

1. A person or group of people : As a member of society we all stay in touch with variety of people. These people are from our relatives, mentors, friends and so on. Everybody from these affects us and we exchange multiple inputs from each other in our behavior. More we depend upon other people more we allow them to govern our life and choice is ours only.
    
2. Mission : Many of us have some mission for life. Accomplishing a mission demands deep devotion and it governs all our activities for that period. A mission completed in time or remained uncompleted for long affects tremendously. 

3. Location and Atmosphere : We stay, live at a particular place and the atmosphere around us makes a lot of difference. When we are exposed to very polluted atmosphere and simultaneously deprived of basic amenities, we become totally different from people who are grown up in a pollution free zone and had all comforts of life.

4. Thoughts and perceptions : The main cause which affects our life most is the thoughts and perceptions we develop. Our thoughts, perceptions , fears, positiveness, and negativeness makes us a different person. Over a time we draw lines of different colors in our life and live it with consciously or unconsciously. 
5. Comfort zone : In our life , we all have our own comfort zones in different fields. If any force comes to disturb it, we resist it. We dislike changes and even if there are  forceful changes, we would like them to happen within our comfort zones only and this way it governs our life.

6  Uncertainty : There is uncertainty all around and it affects us depending upon level of our resistance. Those who can not understand it are vulnerable to indecisiveness and their life is more governed by uncertainty.

7. Object, things : many of us like and dislike things or objects of different kind. one may like a particular car or other one may like to have a beautiful house at riverside and so on. If our views are object centric than we would be more governed by availability or unavailability of such things or objects.

8. Position, Power, Wealth : Position, power and wealth in life too governs many of us. We notice many time that if money is available, than power will be most sought  and if the powerful position is available than wealth becomes most sought after. 

9. Health : Health governs almost everyone in one way or another. If it is good, life is better and if the health is not good than everything in life seems not well. Even health of a family member or close friend too affects us very prominently 

Mute point is to know not only what affects us, it is also important that if something affects or governs us, do we know at what level it is rational. If it has become part and parcel of our routine, then we must reassess and find out , is it really that much important which governs us or we must come out of that and change for better.  

The above analysis is not solving problems we face in general, but it is just trying to have more clarity about the life. It may offer some clue about the right direction which is missing sometime for long. A well thought life finds its purpose and becomes more meaningful if we review from time to time that what really governs us. 

Jan 4, 2015

Art of refusal



In general while maintaining our decency level of behavior we develop a tendency to accept everything which even we do not like to do and forget the concept of refusing. If refusing is not kept in mind we will land up at total mess at work or even in our social relations too. lets have a look at one example:

A professional lawyer having enough level of practice never said no to any assignment coming to him. The resulting scenario of his office is:
1. The boss is always busy
2. The employees too seem to be busy but reporting and execution level quite a week
3. Professional fee billing is increasing but net bottom-line almost stagnant
4. Office environment quite stressful
5. Always staff and boss both working beyond office hours  
5. Total system almost in a mess and so on.

Social side of the same Lawyer above:

Being in profession for a long time he has developed social and personal relations with the clients well but due to his ignorance about the art of refusal the scenario of his personal life is:
1. Can not spare enough time for family.
2. Shrewd people make use of him.
3. There seems to be no planning in life as such.
4. Financial independence is good but level of satisfaction is very low.
5. Developing health hazards.
6. Total absence of fun, joy, peace and so on.    

We can visualize what can be the impact of ignoring the concept of refusal by the example. Now lets think on "How to Say No and Refuse"

First we have to develop firmness about ourselves, decide what we require and what not. What are our resources and at what cost of time, energy and monetary level we can afford to do a particular task in a given time frame. if not, We must refuse it and avoid such mess which makes our life hell. Time is precious and it is allotted to all in terms of age and that too in the limited slot then why we should neglect it. Now lets have a look at different ways to say "No"

1. Say directly No where we have no personal bindings or relationship.
2. Develop our system (office norms, policy of working etc.) to handle the refusal.
3. We can put the burden of refusal on lack of resources. I mean we can simply say no due to non availability of some resource hence we won't be able to accomplish a task or assignment.
4. Sometime task itself does not require perfection, then do only what is required. this too is a kind of  limited refusal.
5. Delegation of task at different levels, in other words creating layers makes us easy to say No. 

The lawyer knew all this well and decided to change himself. He listed all the areas where he was just taking the assignments which were not remunerated enough and could be avoided. He seriously applied the concept of refusal and what happened just see here:

1. His stress level came down considerably.
2. At the beginning his professional fee billing came down by 20% but after a few months it increased with the addition of more new good clients and his profitability (bottom line) also improved in a positive direction.
3. He was far more confident person than earlier
4. Clarity about life emerged and he started enjoying quality time with family and friends.
5. His health too improved.
6. Ultimately he is more rich and knew well that what is really meaningful to him.
     
I hope knowing the art of refusal can help anyone to have the right balance in life. This article is based on my practical experience of more than 25 years and many interactive seminars I have addressed so far. If you like it , please share it for a nice cause of helping others.
Ashok Madrecha
  

Nov 15, 2014

Pursue your goals


Every time when you feel things will move, time will change, just see whether you are pursuing your goals on a sustained basis or waiting for the destiny to change repeatedly. If our expectations are high then efforts too must be more timely and focused.

Never conclude your victory or defeat without putting enough efforts. Time plays it's role but our own initiative makes a difference.

Goals may be anything, study, reaching a particular position, winning heart, become an influential leader, targeting an award, mastering a skill or profession and so on. Higher the goal, higher would be the need for efforts. Sitting pretty in your drawing room and thinking of changing everything with miracles must be avoided. Instead wholehearted persuasions of the goal will lead us to build our own incredible empire we dream upon. One can say, coming out of comfort zone would be the first step to pursue his or her goals. At the beginning, the journey may be very boring but after crossing some milestones it would become interesting more and more.

There are four reasons for not achieving goals

1. Lack of burning desire : there are people who get influenced by changing circumstances for instance, Just after reading newspaper headlines or meeting someone they set their goals and don't know what they wish to achieve. One should live the dream.

2. Setting wrong or unpractical goals : Be practical while setting a goal. Decide short term and long term goals and focus on what can be accomplished early. Unpractical goals will lead us to frustration only.

3. Efforts in wrong direction : even after putting all out effort goals are not within reach then certainly our efforts are in the wrong direction. Rethink your strategy and make suitable changes in your action plan.

4. Lack of resources : most of the time we find people complaining about the resources. We must first assess all three points above then think about all those who achieved their goals and ask ourselves whether we are the only one who are deprived of resources. Proper planning and action in the right direction on a sustained basis will surely lead us to great success.

Let's move and strive for the best.

Nov 6, 2014

Cultivate a hobby


When life seems to be at standstill hobby can be an answer. Most of us have some hobbies but we don't pay much attention to them due to many constraints. Truly speaking hobby is like communicating with one self and if cultivated properly it provides valuable meaning to life.

One can choose a hobby or hobbies as per his or her wishes. We find people enjoying with painting, writing, playing some games, walking, gardening, speaking, advising, counselling, singing, traveling, meditating and so on. When we do something as per our choice, it makes us like talking to ourselves and we start expressing in true senses which bring out stagnancy set in our life. Now we must see one important fact that while choosing hobby ensure that whether it is really communication with oneself or it is just killing our time. For instance watching a television series is not a hobby it can be fun. I feel we should not classify such things in the hobby though one can find these very essential for him.

My point is that hobby should increase your inner pleasure and satisfaction level as you advance in devoting into it. There are many people around the world whose hobby took them to height and they converted it in their profession with great success too. In most of the cases people surrender and compromise with their hobbies and eventually they loose charm in life. Once charm and inspiration lost, it becomes difficult to come out of negativity which haunts on a sustained basis and this makes us compelled to think about our hobbies which enables us to talk with our own soul really.

Oct 6, 2014

Religion or Rituals


Have a look at history, we can notice, one of the most prominent reason for massive violence world over is wrong interpretation of religion while the basic purpose for all religion is peace and liberation. Why so much contradiction ? What can be the reason ? Very simple, most of us follow rituals and not the religion in its true sense. Accomplishing a ritual is far different then following true spirit of a religion. This is the point where we start differing with other religious followers and eventually it leads to hate and sometime big wars too. This situation is like a camera which captures beautiful images but having no feature of viewing these images and still the owner feels proud of it. Going and attending particular prayer or any other ritual may add to our religious profile but simultaneously denying others right and faith will lead to unrest only.

Important part of any achievement are "work and efforts" then why religious rituals comes on front in our life and there we as an human being have to remain very vigilant and see whether it is really religion or mere ritual. Sometime rituals and religions, both these words are used as interchangeable which makes the situation more complex and confusing and it haunts our outer and inner progress considerably. As an individual too , many time one starts mere following ritual and after passage of sometime if the results are not as per expectations, one may doubt the very religion itself which he never understood so far. Moreover rituals too are defined or evolved as per convenience of situation, location, or as per wishes of some individuals who are good orators but not actual religious one, then one has to be very rational in deciding the truth and adopting it in his or her life.....

Sep 28, 2014

Me and We of Relationship



Relationship in life is common but but its longevity is little uncommon. We have so many relationships like husband and wife, man and women, brother and sister, son and father, mother and daughter, sister and sister, brother and brother, pupil and teacher and the list goes on. We build our relationship either by birth, by our contacts or may be due to some other reasons.

Most of us would agree on this truth that a good relationship makes a person happy and a strained relationship causes tension in life. This truth emphasizes the need to understand why a relationship breaks or get strained.

You would be surprised in many cases of couples coming to me for consulting before buying a house their first sentence was like " Sir We wish to buy a good house and plan accordingly, please suggest us. This We and Us are very nice words to bond them and this leads them to success in planning a good house too. let us go further, after some time many of these couples are now changing from this We and Us to Me and mine like words which are the root of serious damage to any kind of relationship. Later on I hear such words from them Sir, its me who bought the house and the other one says its me who manages the home now point here is that We is lost and Me has taken place of We. If anyone in a relationship changes priority which has bearing on others then be careful and see whether we are on verge of adopting this Me instead of We. Please count how many time you are using words like Me, Mine, and compare this count again after some days and see are you readying for a break up ? If you are sure that use of such words are higher then cautiously shift to We and Ours. This will make lot of difference. Journey of life would demand some changes in attitude and everyone should take note of this. behaving like I am always right is a myth and we should try to break this and not these precious relationships which are bestowed upon us. 

Sep 23, 2014

सच्चाई


ख़ुशी की खोज बाहर करना
फिर पुरानी गलती दोहराना
सुख शांति के दो पल पाने की
अभिलाषा बस कुछ कर जाने की
कोशिश करना व्यर्थ नहीं होता
प्रयत्नों से कौन समर्थ नहीं होता
ले नहीं पाते जिंदगी उतना देती हे
ज़माने का दोष नहीं, कर्मो की खेती हे
कई बार साफ़ दिखता भी हे
पर समझ कम पड़ जाती हे
दिग्भ्रमित से मंजिलो की तलाश में
कुछ मिलेगा हर वक़्त इसी आस में
स्वयं की व्यवस्था में लगे दिन रात
झूठ के सहारे करते रहे हर बात।
जब सच्चाई सामने प्रकट होगी
स्थिति स्वयं बड़ी विकट होगी
दर्पण से सामना नहीं कर पाओगे
अपना चेहरा खुद ही छुपाओगे
समय को कौन रोक पाता हे
ये तो बस बीतता जाता हे
ये तो बस बीतता जाता हे.…।

Sep 8, 2014

घर और इंसान



हमने ठिकाने बना लिए और
उनको मकानों का दर्जा भी दिया
काश घर बनाये होते
बेशक इतना कर्जा भी लिया।
हर दीवार चमकीली हे
सजा दिया बहुत सुन्दर तरीके से
गरूर का सामान बना दिया
क्या सकून भी लाये कुछ सलीके से।
सब सामान की जगह बना दी
हर कोने को भर दिया
आ जाते बूढ़े माँ बाप साथ रहने को
लगता कुछ तो अच्छा कर दिया।
हम आग से खेलते हे
पानी में बहते हुए
जिंदगी गुजार लेते हे
अजनबी से रहते हुए।
दौरे खुदगर्जी के तूफान में
इल्म रास नहीं आएगा
चलते रहना , गिरना मत
वर्ना कोई पास नहीं आएगा।
मकान तो बहुत हे कहने को
घर कहाँ मिलते हे
शरीर बहुत हे चलते फिरते
पर साथ चलने को इंसान कहाँ मिलते हे ।

Sep 1, 2014

Mind or Dustbean ?


It is quite important that we remain constantly aware of how we use our mind ? Just an information collector, dumping ground of so many unwanted scattered pieces of information and making it a scrapyard ? We must justify, if something is available and adding some type of excitement we immediately start storing data as if we are programmed accordingly and eventually our brain hangs sometime. One may argue well by stating that mind is not developed if not used fully. On the same line we can say there should always be some space to play and develop. Amazingly our educational system too bombards with so many old data which are sometime totally useless and I would say it is severe damage to our mental health. So what to do ? Can we change the entire world ? Yes but I would like to correct myself , we can change our own world entirely. Just calm down and think upon what information and type of data you are really required in your carrier, family, society or the circle you are in. What interest and hobbies you posses? I am sure you are getting me. Suppose a person working in a factory, having only interest in cricket , why we should expect from him that he should also know who were the stars of Titanic but our system and society today likes those who are full of unrelated information. To live healthy and for balanced mental health one should be vigilant enough to see whether others are programming us or we are justified in storing so much information.

The problem of over storing unrelated data in our brain is more serious in case of highly educated people. The more we develop our brain, more intellectual level we reach and creates thrust of more data and information to process but at this point of time the main question to be asked is, What information should be allowed and processed through our brain ? just try, many of us will laugh at ourselves and find how much clutter we do precess through our mind and possess too for long ...... Why ?

Jul 25, 2014

Express Completely


Life provides us opportunities to express ourselves on varied fronts, be it social, academic, carrier wise, public forums or at personal level. Many of us not even recognise these opportunities and defer our decision to work on that and this all leads us to live without effectiveness. We as human being are most intellectual creature of the nature but our intelligence if not used properly can work against our own. 

Some questions we may ask to ourselves :

What debars us expressing completely in our deeds ?
Why hesitation takes prime place while working?
Why we do not create a sound image of ourselves?
Do we perform half heartedly?
Are we really interested in what we are doing ?
Do the outcome inspire us to  work towards it?
Is it a person , location or situation compelling to work ?
Are we so much compelled that we can not make the change we imagined ?

If we can find honest answers of all these questions from ourselves , a kind of clarity we can have towards the life we really wish to live.
whatever we do, barring very few exception of diplomacy , express yourself completely to the extent you can and it will culminate into a big success even you did not sought sometime. half way expressing brings monotony in life , be it job, carrier, education, society or even loving someone.

Jul 20, 2014

Crowd puller or crowd follower

 
Why we live our life unsatisfied most of the time. If observed carefully, you will notice that we are either crowd follower or crowd puller. In both situation we remain part of crowd and try to justify ourselves that this is right and this is wrong. Crowd in its own has no brain still it behaves but unpredictably. What if a person too starts behaving in manner like crowd ? Peace would go away and fun of life too. He would always think what others would think if I do this or not do. Is this right way of doing or not according to crowd around him ?

How to remain part of crowd but behave independently and prudentially is what one should seek.Generally leaders are crowd pullers and public is followers but balancing life demands enough maturity to achieve independence constantly.

Let's go further .. Since our childhood we are moulded to think always in default mode like what is hot and cold, love and hate, up and down, good and bad, elder or younger, big or small, black or white, yes or no and it goes on.. This is what I would say crowd mentality . there are number of opposite combinations but you can't predict what odd combination would be picked up by the crowd. So we have to be independent to think and act accordingly then only we can say our journey towards balancing life is going on.

May 28, 2014

मंजिल (Destination)


असीम संभावनाओं को तलाशती
निगाहे निहारती खोजती
दिन रात मंजिल को.…।
बेसबब सी इस तलाश में
होती रही पीड़ा चाहे
कितनी ही दिल को …।
आखिर लगे हमें भी
कुछ तो ठानी है कि
सफर ये कटे अकेला
या कोई साथ रहे
बस हमें तो चलना हे
यूँ भी रुकने का अंजाम
यहाँ कुछ अच्छा नहीं होता
तो जरा साथ चल कर तो देखो
शायद मंजिल मुस्कराती
सामने आ मिले
और मिटे सारे गिले
अब ज्यादा सोचो मत
बस कूच करो
इन रास्तों पे आगे बढ़ने में
वक्त जाया न करो …।

May 22, 2014

You Knew It ... Still...

 



1. We can not make everyone happy at a time :To become decisive,we must accept the fact that everyone wont be happy by your actions and we should be ready for that. Your boss may be happy but your subordinates may not, your parents would be happy but spouse may not .

2. Changes are inevitable : to lead a balanced life we should be well aware of that everything changes except the change itself.  I agree , you have read it many times , you know it but while behaving with one or more we forget it and put ourselves in trouble repeatedly. We take something so seriously as if without it sky would fall and our actions start finding wrong directions.


3. Be pragmatic, not dogmatic. : world over most of the successful people's history shows that they were pragmatic and this led them to more acceptance and thereby more success too. Here one should differentiate flexibility and compromise well as per time and situation. Being practical in our approach is very useful in business too.





4. More we are selfish, more unhappiness. :simple rule to happiness is to remain selfless and unattached as much possible as we can. Tonnes of research paper one may find on attaining happiness, I would like to summarize and state that living for self only is not life one should always strive to be good and useful to others too and this will first big step to happiness.  

5. Understand well what governs our life , money, name or something else : if we can understand what really we need at particular stage of life then our efforts would not make us tired early. I would like to mention here that it is better to allow qualities to govern your life instead of a particular person.


6. Measure your freedom from time to time : everyone likes freedom. may be it is financial, social or else. As life advances we should have clarity about it. are we serious about it or just passing time. freedom itself is a big source of happiness.


7. Relate every decision with the time factor: deciding something requires input of time factor. Every decision has to be taken after considering time factor. for example, Mr. John is curious about investing in good home at his native place which is very far from his working place. He thinks he would be staying there for 10 days in a year. This decision should be taken in light of the time factor. What is the age of Mr. John, How healthy he is to commute ?
whether he would be able to maintain the house without going there. This is mere an example to take right decision.

8. If health is wealth then why one should ignore it: commonly it is said that health is wealth but in our routine life we
commonly ignore it too. Paying attention and sparing adequate time for health is must and there is no other option to this. adequate exercise, meditation, proper diet pattern has to be followed religiously.

9. Relationship is not just planting a tree , it requires water regularly: all relations are like plants and these requires water at regular intervals. Mostly we find that initially lot of enthusiasm is shown in any new relationship and after sometime maintaining it takes back seat resulting into break ups. Wise   people understands it and keep their relationship live and vibrant.




10. Confusion creates cowards so be sure about yourself: in my seminar, many time I find people are suffering just because they are confused.I suggest here we should always break questions and try to resolve them. Our approach of getting all answers at a time makes confusion more strong. a separate write up on confusion is written on this blog in article section.

    
11. Destiny , religion may be good to understand but taking efforts in right direction is must to achieve something: considerable part of time is spent on discussing what is destiny , where is god, What is religion etc. I would put it this way being spiritual is good but different than what is discussed academically. As an individual our thought process and actions should be focused on what is to be achieved specifically.

 
12. Accept good and bad both: We are happy if we are comfortable. This is human nature that we accept goodness, comfort, love, favor, service, different kind of gadgets but we don't like discomforts , orders, hate, etc. Point here is that everything carries good and bad elements both. If a person loves someone and hates his or her voice , can this work for long ? We have to accept bad and good both simultaneously more particularly in relationship.

     
13. If you don't have good relation with your neighbors, relatives, friends, family members simultaneously then introspect in deep: If you are facing such situation then something is wrong within you and it requires introspection. Just have a second thought about yourself and see what can be changed at your end first.


14. Never say anyone that you are wrong instead make them feel they are wrong if required. But this should not be the aim of life as it consumes lot of energy. Giving space is better than proving someone wrong.


15. Respect and love can not be attained by demanding : it is funny when we come across people seeking respect and love just by demanding. These people are desperate and feel like this is their right and all this leads them to no where.  life is an art of living where love blossoms and respect too showers on deserving and this can not be attained by demanding.


16. Take small steps first before you leap: any mission or goal can be accomplished on sound footing and for that one need to take small steps first. Any plan, team, resources and networking etc. requires grip on minute details hence taking leap is always advised after some small crucial steps.


17. Develop niche in some areas of your choice to make yourself valuable: Many people come with complaints of being not valued, not paid adequately in their job or else. I simply ask them do they update their knowledge  ? Do they have niche in some area where they can become unique or outstanding? if not then strive for this and these complaints will go away.  


18. Peace is the answer not the enmity: never say anybody enemy. Hostility destroys peace and without peace progress can not be achieved. Even due to some event or otherwise somebody is hostile try to overcome such hostility. Some liberal postures and actions can change whole life. I know well many diplomats would not agree to me.


19. Be Simple : living in your true being is relaxing so be simple. Complex life is very stressful. Even if you are wealthy, top achiever in any field , be polite , smiling .... may be you are a great leader of near future !  
   
20. Even after following all the above if you feel things are not as per your expectation , take pause, relax, life teaches you for better role and of course time too changes so don't worry at all, have courage .

Life may seems to be  battles
there are roses and patels
both are there cold and heat
heart is soft keep clean and neat
you may be fathers or mothers too
be happy and keep happy others too..


This article is written after deep study on many cases from different perspective. I wish every word of this write up will be useful not only to an individual but to organizations, societies, or even countries too. I personally dedicate this write up to entire humanity and those counselors who are putting serious efforts to bring happiness in others life selflessly. I appeal all my readers to share this article for spreading knowledge about living life in harmony .... thanks.. 
                                                                                   Ashok Madrecha 

प्रयास (Efforts)

जब सब कुछ रुका हुआ हो तुम पहल करना निसंकोच, प्रयास करके खुद को सफल करना। ये मोड़ जिंदगी में तुम्हें स्थापित करेंगे और, संभव है कि तुम देव तु...