मन और चेतन का विश्लेषण (Mind and Spirit analysis)

हमे मन और चेतन का अनुभव शरीर के द्वारा होता है। यदि आप थोड़ा सूक्ष्म विश्लेषण करे तो देखेंगे कि हम हर वक्त विचारों, क्रियाओं या प्रतिक्रियाओं के इर्द गिर्द ही घूमते रहते है। और ये सब किसी विश्वास, भय, अपेक्षा, अहंकार या इच्छा विशेष के कारण होता है।

Stressed ? Read it..

Commenting on others is easy and for many it's entertaining, but analyzing oneself is far difficult and pointing out this fact in a given situation is again more difficult. Unless we understand ourselves, happiness would be a distance dream always. We are governed by our brain and heart and I feel, both are programmed by our past actions and reactions. While on one side we tend to listen logic, on other side we are more comfortable with emotions. This is irony and simultaneously blessings in disguise too, I would say. Now there is a big question, why stress makes inroads in our life ?

Broadly, we can say there are two major stresses :
1. Temporary or Situational
2. Prolonged or self created

Let's talk about Temporary or situational stress. When some situation develops and it disturbs anyone's comfort, it's a stress for him. There are lots of examples like unemployment, ruined relationship, polluted environment, increased expenses, failed in an examination and so on.

What are prolonged or self adopted stresses? In clear and very plain words I would say, when we develop habits of self fighting, it leads to prolonged or self adopted stresses. In such cases, people are living in their own perceptions and among these perceptions they make hyper permutations and combinations. Many times you might have seen people, though listening, but not able to answer as their whole inner world is busy waging a war with themselves. These types of people often apprehend situations which are not real, most of the time. That's why I name it a self-created stress.

So how we brace up to overcome stress? We have to be realistic and pragmatic while dealing with both these stresses. On certain occasions, situation seems logical and sometime it is an outcome of

जीवन की विडम्बनाएं (Irony of life)

अपने लंबे व्यावसायिक जीवन में मुझे कई व्यक्तियों से मिलने अथवा साथ काम करने का अनुभव मिला। जीवन अपने आप में पूर्ण नहीं होता। किसी को कुछ उपलब्ध नही तो किसी को जरूरत से ज्यादा वस्तुएं या सुविधाएं उपलब्ध है। आइये कुछ छोटी छोटी कहानियों के माध्यम से हम जीवन की सच्चाई को समझे:

1. एक होनहार उद्योगपति अपने बढ़ते व्यापार के बीच भी संतुष्ट नही था। कई बार उससे मिलने का मौका आया पर हर बार उसके चहेरे पर असन्तुष्टि स्पष्ट नजर आती थी। एक बार मुझे उसके साथ एक समारोह में जाने का संयोग बन गया और वहाँ जाकर उसके व्यवहार में आये बदलाव को देखकर मुझे समझ मे आया कि वो इतना असंतुष्ट क्यो था। मैंने देखा कि उस समारोह में उस उद्योगपति से भी कई बड़ी हस्तियां मौजूद थी और वो अपने से बड़े उद्योगपतियों के आगे पीछे घूम रहा था। मेरे मन मे विचार आया कि ये व्यक्ति कितना निर्धन है जो अपने पास सब कुछ होते हुए भी इस तरह से किसी अनजान भूख से सतत व्याकुल है। शायद उसे महत्वपूर्ण बनने की चाह थी या किसी की अनुकंपा पाने की अभिलाषा। सचमुच संसार मे हम अप्राप्त वस्तुओ के प्रति ज्यादा आकर्षित होते है और प्राप्त वस्तुओं के महत्व को समझ ही नही पाते।

2. एक युवा शादी करता है और कुछ ही दिनों के बाद उसका अपनी पत्नी से मोहभंग हो जाता है। कारण जानकर आश्चर्य होगा कि उसकी पत्नी सीधी, संस्कारी और पारिवारिक मूल्यों को समझने वाली थी। उस युवा को आधुनिक, पार्टी इत्यादि में रुचि रखनेवाली पत्नी चाहिए थी। नतीजा- तलाक हो गया। उसने फिर शादी की ओर आधुनिक पत्नी घर लाया। अब ये पत्नी घर का काम बिल्कुल नही करती और बड़ो का तिरस्कार करती । इस कहानी का भी यही सार है कि जो उपलब्ध है उसकी अवहेलना हो रही और जो दूर है उसकी अपेक्षा में वक़्त जाया हो रहा। इंसान रोज सिर्फ सपनों की दुनियां को हकीकत मान रहा। अपने कर्तव्य के बजाय हम अधिकारों की जानकारी ज्यादा रखते है और जीवन को अनायास ही नर्क में ढकेल देते है।

3. एक उच्च शिक्षा प्राप्त लड़की की शादी अच्छे खानदान में हो गयी। घर मे सब सुविधाएं थी, परन्तु लड़की का मानना था कि बाहर कोई कंपनी में जॉब किया जाय तो अच्छा रहेगा, जैसे पैसा हाथ मे आता रहेगा, घर का काम नही करना पड़ेगा आदि आदि। समय के साथ लड़की का घर से संपर्क कम होता गया,नतीजा ये हुआ कि संतान देरी से हुई, स्वास्थ्य पर स्थायी रूप से असर हो गया। बैंक में थोड़ा पैसा तो बढ़ गया पर घर के बजाय वो अनजाने में अपने जॉब ओर बोस की ग़ुलाम हो गयी। उसके घर पर बड़ा व्यापार था, उसको संभालने की पूरी आजादी भी थी पर होनी को कौन टाल सकता है, व्यक्ति दूर की अप्राप्त वस्तुओं पर आकर्षित होता है और घर के बजाय अन्य में सुख खोजने का प्रयत्न करता रहता है और इसी दौरान जीवन का स्वर्णिम समय बीत जाता है।

उपरोक्त तीन कहानियां सिर्फ संदर्भ के लिए यहाँ लिखी गयी है लेकिन वास्तविक जीवन मे हर व्यक्ति या परिवार में इस तरह की अनगिनत कहानियां रोज आकर लेती है। वास्तविकता ये है कि यदि हम दया, मैत्री, समता जैसे सद्गुणों को जीवन की दौड़ में बहुत पीछे छोड़ आये है। वर्तमान को भूल कर या तो बीते समय का रोना रोते है या भविष्य की चिंता में खोये रहते है।हम अपने आपको बहुत चतुर समझते है और दूसरों को अंधेरे में रख कर जीने को कला की संज्ञा देते है और ये मान लेते है कि इसका प्रतिफल भी हमारे नियंत्रण में है। मानवता के मूल्यों को जो अपनाता है उसके स्वाद का मजा तो वो ही ले सकता है। आज भी नियति अपना काम करती है। चलो कुछ पल ही सही, पर अपने अस्तित्व की सार्थकता के बारे में सोचे, क्या पता उनमे से ही कोई पल हमारी आंखे खोल दे और हम वास्तविक जीवन पथ को पहचान ले।

----- अशोक मादरेचा

नियति (Destiny)

पल पल में बहुत कुछ घटित होता
कुछ मन का, कुछ अनचाहे होता
कुछ बदल देता, कुछ बदल जाता
कभी अच्छा, कभी बुरा लग जाता ।

स्वीकृति मन से करो या कहो मज़बूरी
यहाँ हर इच्छा किसकी होती पूरी
मालुम है काम सबके है बड़े जरुरी
पूरी करते जाओ, इच्छाएं रहती अधूरी ।

घूमते नक्षत्र और सितारें भी निरंतर
घूमते परिंदे और इंसान भी इधर उधर
आता नहीं कही पर कुछ भी अंतर
थका जाता मनुज, बहुत कुछ कर कर ।

जान लो कि नियति क्या कहती है
कभी सोचा ? ये जमीं कितना सहती है
रुकना स्वभाव नहीं, नदियाँ तो बहती है
कुछ भी खाली होता, वहाँ हवाएँ तो रहती है ।

काल को कौन परिभाषित कर पाया
कुछ लिखा वो भी लगता है माया
समय से बंधा हुआ यौवन और काया
ना लोग रहे ना उनका कोई साया ।

सब्र करो आज भी आँखों में आंसू आते है
पीड़ा भी होती, वो उम्मीद भी जगाते है
कुछ लोग है जो खूब रंग जमाते है
नियति भी बदल दे ऐसा खेल रचाते है ।

Mistakes Every One Should Know And Avoid

Life, you can say, is time spent on this earth but the time itself is so precious that one should always know about some common mistakes and avoid these as early as possible to control the unrecoverable damage and repent later. Understanding these mistakes will certainly compel you to think about self-transformation. let us see what are these mistakes.

Not act when sun is shining : When we are younger we must stay vigilant about our health and career both. Parents must think in advance how their children would make them fit and suitable to take on the challenges of life. One can not afford to ignore health and career both.

Run after things which is not worth: 95 % of average people are after so many things or such persons in their life which are not worth to them, at all. They even don't know why the seek them. I have seen such people, if you ask them , they bluntly say what is the need to know, this is the height.

Run when time is out: very very big and common mistake. Anything you start or put your efforts just assure yourself and ask is it right time to do? if confused consult your mentors or experienced people in the field. Having billions of dollars at the age of 85 and at 35 makes a lot of difference. At the age of 85, I feel the money is notional, it may not bring you the joy what you feel at the age of 35. We have to draw a clear line and follow it with utmost clarity.

Always trying to keep others happy: I recommend every one of you to honestly assess yourself if you are not a monk or sannyasi. You will wonder what kind of life we are living. Most probably you would laugh at yourself and that too loudly. I hope you are getting me. Everything you do is for happiness for others most of the time. You work for siblings, society, organization, and so on. In this whole process you simply forget yourself and the true happiness becomes a distinct reality.

  

Never think about priority: Confusion about what to do at what stage creates lots of uncertainty which leads to indecisiveness. We should know about our realistic priorities and not the one which is just a created priority. Imagine a person putting his entire energy after supporting an election campaign while his parents are not well and he is not attending them. On several occasion we feel sad about our investment of time on wrong priorities. A person is deeply engaged in social matters while his children were lacking guidance about their future. These are some instances.

Ignorant and casual approach in abundance: Everything we do, we have to be focused to achieve. Without concluding tasks we can not move ahead. Our approach has to be definite. People don't take seriously to people having casual approach.

Influenced by matters or persons which are totally irrelevant : If we get influenced quite often by different groups, persons, situations and change our goals frequently, success too gets postponed. Life is full of different events, occasions, situations, groups, people, environments and atmospheres. All the time we cannot allow these to pull back. We should be vigilant about our deeds and performance to achieve what we really aspire for.

The mistakes discussed above makes major impact on most of our life and sometimes we don't even notice this. To achieve proper balance in life, we must avoid these.        

 

Small experiments for big changes

Small experiments can make big changes in our life. Here is the list of some experiments one should experience and strike right balance in life.

1. Celebrate no complaints day : For our own sake we can fix at least a day in a week which is completely free from complaints. We can increase our acceptance level to adjust all situations on a particular day to make a nice start. Amazing changes happen, just follow and feel.
 
2. forgive your worst enemy: If you have no enemy than far better but if you have than try forgiving him or her from bottom of your heart. I agree this is not small thing but assume it small and let it happen.This will make you stress free to a great extent.

3. Network is net worth, realize it in time: Right kind of networking at right age make your life tremendous success. We can not do all things on our own. We can not get everything done by paying some money. Human life can not avoid being social.Those who remain aloof must reconsider and open the doors of happiness by establishing and maintaining proper networking. One can start this with contacting at least a friend per day. Make your presence wherever you feel its worth. These small gestures can unleash your potential eventually.

4. Help someone for nothing in return: It is not necessary that we expect something in return all the time. Helping someone for no reason can really make you feel happy. Small favors to someone who is stuck up, may make our life graceful and blessed too.
  
5. Ask your elders if any support they need from you: elders generally do not ask for help or support unless they feel very comfortable with someone. Take this as an opportunity and lend a helping hand without waiting for their request. It is equally true within family or outside family.

6. Spare few minutes for you alone: Talk at least once to yourself daily. Those who don't talk to themselves remain empty for long and need outside support constantly. Our own soul is full of unlimited power but we have to search it by communication.
  
7. Plant a tree at least if you can: Ask the quantum of pleasure to a person who planted a tree and saw it grown up. It is very positive thing we can give to our earth.

8. Teach what you can but for free to someone who really need it: There are plenty of people who may need different kind of guidance. If one has skill and experience, he should share it so more and more people will benefit from it

These are some small things we can follow and make our life more balanced.

Life - Stuck up or Straying ?

Dealing with Feelings of Stagnation and Wandering

Most of us occasionally find ourselves feeling bored or experiencing a significant decline in enthusiasm for life. If this feeling persists, it’s important to take it seriously and assess whether you’re stuck or simply straying off course. Life presents us with many questions—some have straightforward answers, while others do not—and it’s often these unanswered questions that leave us feeling this way.

Life is full of ups and downs, but those who possess clarity and the ability to overcome indecisiveness can better manage their state of mind and navigate life’s uncertainties.

Symptoms of Feeling Stuck or Straying:

1. Aimless Wandering: Some people frequently go out without any specific purpose. This might also include taking unnecessary leaves from work without any real reason.

2. Irritability: Their behavior becomes more irritable, especially towards family members and close friends.

3. Procrastination: Even when there’s work to be done, they delay it. This procrastination is a common symptom, reducing their overall effectiveness.

4. Excessive Use of Social Media: They become addicted to social media, spending hours updating their status and chatting with people who aren’t significant in their lives.

5. Increased Consumption of Alcohol and Drugs: To escape their feelings of being stuck or lost, some may start drinking more or even resort to drugs.

6. Seeking Happiness in Strangers: Interestingly, such individuals may look for happiness in strangers rather than in their trusted friends or relatives.

7. Irregular Eating Habits: Their eating patterns become irregular, leading to a decline in their overall health.

8. Lack of Interest in Work: Even if their job is secure, they lose interest and start applying for other positions.

9. Sudden Aggression or Depression: Their reactions become unpredictable, with sudden outbursts of anger or bouts of depression.

10. Seeking Unnecessary Approval: They may lose confidence in themselves and start seeking approval from others for every little decision.

11. Blaming Themselves and Others Without Cause: They may start blaming themselves or others for no apparent reason, and this habit can become ingrained over time.

How to Overcome These Situations

If you notice these symptoms in a friend or relative, it’s important to take steps to help them. While there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, here are some strategies that might help:

1. Be Practical: Practicality is key. Whether it’s work, goals, or other aspects of life, everything should be achievable and realistic. Often, things don’t work out because they aren’t practical, which leads to feelings of being stuck.

2. Avoid Negative People: If someone is already struggling with indecisiveness, being around negative people will only make things worse. It’s better to avoid such influences.

3. Consult a Trusted Mentor: If you have a mentor you trust, seek their advice. Share your feelings and symptoms with them.

4. Engage in Creative Activities: When all other avenues seem closed, turn inward. Creative activities like gardening, painting, writing, or reading poetry can be very therapeutic.

5. Refresh Your Goals: If your current goals seem out of reach, reassess and create a new list of goals that you truly want to pursue.

6. Evaluate Your Direction: If you’re feeling stuck, make sure your efforts are aligned with the right direction. Reassess your path and start anew if necessary.

7. Start Small: Begin with small, manageable steps. Expecting major results immediately is unrealistic.

8. Know Your Limits: Understand the resources available to you and set your limits accordingly. Knowing your boundaries can prevent feelings of being stuck.

9. Read Inspirational Books or Watch Motivational Movies: Inspirational content can be incredibly uplifting. Seek out books or movies that provoke thought and offer motivation.

10. Change Your Environment: Spending time in a serene, natural environment with close friends or family can rejuvenate your spirit and bring new energy to your routine.

11. Keep Your Hopes Alive: Above all, maintain hope. Remember, nothing is permanent—neither the good nor the bad. Challenges are opportunities for growth, and something new and better may be on the horizon.

It’s important to understand that feeling stuck and feeling like you’re straying are different experiences, though they can happen simultaneously. The key is to recognize your current situation and take steps to overcome it. By following the suggestions above, you can gain clarity and regain control of your life. If the issue involves another person, consider the situation from their perspective as well. What seems right for you may not be the same for them. Stay positive, and work towards making your life more balanced, lively, and vibrant. 

Ashok Madrecha

How To Stay Happy

When somebody asked me "How to stay happy" I took risk to reply such question which is generally asked to some Saint or spiritual leader, I explained it as under:

Whole human life is chasing something , getting something, having something or maintaining something. The person was not satisfied and he insisted to explain it further and I had to elaborate my reply and the question and concept implied in it both were manifest.

In this world we are mostly busy in four type of activities:

1. To make or get money and wealth,
2. To have name, fame and be influential.
3. To love and get loved
4. To keep up all the above three in favor on sustained basis.

We can notice well that almost everybody is busy with the above four kind of activities. Level of busyness might be the different person to person depending upon his or her priorities. Now coming on the question "How to be Happy", the point here is that if we are in these four activities only than our happiness would be limited to our needs. In other words, if my need of wealth is acute than it would give happiness to the extent the money and wealth I can consume, the moment the need gets satisfied, happiness will start finding new definition in another activities and it will shift its focus to other activities and this shifting becomes a habit. In this process the real happiness is never finding its value and due importance too. So what to do ? simple answer is that if we can spare part of our time for any such activity which does not fall in these four activities than happiness starts coming in.

To make it simple, such as if someone draws a picture , sing a song, plays piano, walks in a garden, looks at beautiful stars in night, observes sunrise, listen music, meditates, prays, forgives, studies positive thoughts, involves in good sports, supporting others and so on. All these should not have any motive which if eventually leads to the four activities than happiness would be artificial and not the real. In simple words if we start involving in any such activities which is not categorized as part of the four mentioned above than most probably there would be happiness and balance in life too. Those who practices it well, would know it better.      

What Governs Your Life ?

Life is available in limited time slots and we spend it with our own chosen path. It is very important for us to know what really governs our life. We grow with different priorities at different time but sometime we stay stuck up with a type of static mentality or set of mind and it starts governing our life either positively or negatively. There are permutations or combinations of what really governs us. Prominently these are the points which governs or controls us knowingly or unknowingly :

1. A person or group of people : As a member of society we all stay in touch with variety of people. These people are from our relatives, mentors, friends and so on. Everybody from these affects us and we exchange multiple inputs from each other in our behavior. More we depend upon other people more we allow them to govern our life and choice is ours only.

    

2. Mission : Many of us have some mission for life. Accomplishing a mission demands deep devotion and it governs all our activities for that period. A mission completed in time or remained uncompleted for long affects tremendously. 

3. Location and Atmosphere : We stay, live at a particular place and the atmosphere around us makes a lot of difference. When we are exposed to very polluted atmosphere and simultaneously deprived of basic amenities, we become totally different from people who are grown up in a pollution free zone and had all comforts of life.

4. Thoughts and perceptions : The main cause which affects our life most is the thoughts and perceptions we develop. Our thoughts, perceptions , fears, positiveness, and negativeness makes us a different person. Over a time we draw lines of different colors in our life and live it with consciously or unconsciously. 

5. Comfort zone : In our life , we all have our own comfort zones in different fields. If any force comes to disturb it, we resist it. We dislike changes and even if there are  forceful changes, we would like them to happen within our comfort zones only and this way it governs our life.

6  Uncertainty : There is uncertainty all around and it affects us depending upon level of our resistance. Those who can not understand it are vulnerable to indecisiveness and their life is more governed by uncertainty.

7. Object, things : many of us like and dislike things or objects of different kind. one may like a particular car or other one may like to have a beautiful house at riverside and so on. If our views are object centric than we would be more governed by availability or unavailability of such things or objects.

8. Position, Power, Wealth : Position, power and wealth in life too governs many of us. We notice many time that if money is available, than power will be most sought  and if the powerful position is available than wealth becomes most sought after. 

9. Health : Health governs almost everyone in one way or another. If it is good, life is better and if the health is not good than everything in life seems not well. Even health of a family member or close friend too affects us very prominently 

Mute point is to know not only what affects us, it is also important that if something affects or governs us, do we know at what level it is rational. If it has become part and parcel of our routine, then we must reassess and find out , is it really that much important which governs us or we must come out of that and change for better.  

The above analysis is not solving problems we face in general, but it is just trying to have more clarity about the life. It may offer some clue about the right direction which is missing sometime for long. A well thought life finds its purpose and becomes more meaningful if we review from time to time that what really governs us. 

Goal Setting Audio in English

Welcome to the 3rd audio in the series of Personality Development Audio in English.
 
In this audio I describe reasons for not achieving goals. Click play button now to know important points about Pursuing Goals.

Religion or Rituals

Have a look at history, we can notice, one of the most prominent reason for massive violence world over is wrong interpretation of religion while the basic purpose for all religion is peace and liberation. Why so much contradiction ? What can be the reason ? Very simple, most of us follow rituals and not the religion in its true sense. Accomplishing a ritual is far different then following true spirit of a religion. This is the point where we start differing with other religious followers and eventually it leads to hate and sometime big wars too. This situation is like a camera which captures beautiful images but having no feature of viewing these images and still the owner feels proud of it. Going and attending particular prayer or any other ritual may add to our religious profile but simultaneously denying others right and faith will lead to unrest only.

Important part of any achievement are "work and efforts" then why religious rituals comes on front in our life and there we as an human being have to remain very vigilant and see whether it is really religion or mere ritual. Sometime rituals and religions, both these words are used as interchangeable which makes the situation more complex and confusing and it haunts our outer and inner progress considerably. As an individual too , many time one starts mere following ritual and after passage of sometime if the results are not as per expectations, one may doubt the very religion itself which he never understood so far. Moreover rituals too are defined or evolved as per convenience of situation, location, or as per wishes of some individuals who are good orators but not actual religious one, then one has to be very rational in deciding the truth and adopting it in his or her life.....

Me and We of Relationship

Relationship in life is common but but its longevity is little uncommon. We have so many relationships like husband and wife, man and women, brother and sister, son and father, mother and daughter, sister and sister, brother and brother, pupil and teacher and the list goes on. We build our relationship either by birth, by our contacts or may be due to some other reasons.

Most of us would agree on this truth that a good relationship makes a person happy and a strained relationship causes tension in life. This truth emphasizes the need to understand why a relationship breaks or get strained.

You would be surprised in many cases of couples coming to me for consulting before buying a house their first sentence was like " Sir We wish to buy a good house and plan accordingly, please suggest us. This We and Us are very nice words to bond them and this leads them to success in planning a good house too. let us go further, after some time many of these couples are now changing from this We and Us to Me and mine like words which are the root of serious damage to any kind of relationship. Later on I hear such words from them Sir, its me who bought the house and the other one says its me who manages the home now point here is that We is lost and Me has taken place of We. If anyone in a relationship changes priority which has bearing on others then be careful and see whether we are on verge of adopting this Me instead of We. Please count how many time you are using words like Me, Mine, and compare this count again after some days and see are you readying for a break up ? If you are sure that use of such words are higher then cautiously shift to We and Ours. This will make lot of difference. Journey of life would demand some changes in attitude and everyone should take note of this. behaving like I am always right is a myth and we should try to break this and not these precious relationships which are bestowed upon us. 

घर और इंसान

हमने ठिकाने बना लिए और
उनको मकानों का दर्जा भी दिया
काश घर बनाये होते
बेशक इतना कर्जा भी लिया।
हर दीवार चमकीली हे
सजा दिया बहुत सुन्दर तरीके से
गरूर का सामान बना दिया
क्या सकून भी लाये कुछ सलीके से।
सब सामान की जगह बना दी
हर कोने को भर दिया
आ जाते बूढ़े माँ बाप साथ रहने को
लगता कुछ तो अच्छा कर दिया।
हम आग से खेलते हे
पानी में बहते हुए
जिंदगी गुजार लेते हे
अजनबी से रहते हुए।
दौरे खुदगर्जी के तूफान में
इल्म रास नहीं आएगा
चलते रहना , गिरना मत
वर्ना कोई पास नहीं आएगा।
मकान तो बहुत हे कहने को
घर कहाँ मिलते हे
शरीर बहुत हे चलते फिरते
पर साथ चलने को इंसान कहाँ मिलते हे ।

Mind or Dustbean ?

It is quite important that we remain constantly aware of how we use our mind ? Just an information collector, dumping ground of so many unwanted scattered pieces of information and making it a scrapyard ? We must justify, if something is available and adding some type of excitement we immediately start storing data as if we are programmed accordingly and eventually our brain hangs sometime. One may argue well by stating that mind is not developed if not used fully. On the same line we can say there should always be some space to play and develop. Amazingly our educational system too bombards with so many old data which are sometime totally useless and I would say it is severe damage to our mental health. So what to do ? Can we change the entire world ? Yes but I would like to correct myself , we can change our own world entirely. Just calm down and think upon what information and type of data you are really required in your carrier, family, society or the circle you are in. What interest and hobbies you posses? I am sure you are getting me. Suppose a person working in a factory, having only interest in cricket , why we should expect from him that he should also know who were the stars of Titanic but our system and society today likes those who are full of unrelated information. To live healthy and for balanced mental health one should be vigilant enough to see whether others are programming us or we are justified in storing so much information.

The problem of over storing unrelated data in our brain is more serious in case of highly educated people. The more we develop our brain, more intellectual level we reach and creates thrust of more data and information to process but at this point of time the main question to be asked is, What information should be allowed and processed through our brain ? just try, many of us will laugh at ourselves and find how much clutter we do precess through our mind and possess too for long ...... Why ?

Status or Stress ?

Journey of life comprises of so many achievements, wealth, respect, recognition, image, brand, skill, and so on. Collectively all this makes a person different and it creates status . As a human being we try to keep it up and up. We should ask ourselves at what level we are comfortable with this status or I would say it so called status in other way. The reality of life is that if we under unknown pressure try to keep on maintaining this status, it creates stress, so ideally it should be spontaneous and not an obligation on constant basis just to show off and impress others by engaging our positive energy.

Other side effects of  "So called Status" which I personally observed are:

1) Jump in level of attitude instead of gratitude
2) Lesser communication with friends and close relatives
3) Feeling loneliness even after crossing many milestones in life
4) absence of humour and increase of monotony
5) Constant irritation with self or others
6) Living artificial life
7) Chasing unwanted objects for more status
8) Developing health hazards

The list above is just illustrative, you can add more and more points at your end. Point to be noted is that achieving something in life is not wrong in itself  what we miss is we put ourselves in chasing something which is not that much required primarily though it may be necessary . We must draw a line in between the both to make life more easy, balanced,simple, and enjoyable.

तनाव ( Stress )

तनाव का सबसे ज्यादा असर हमारे शरीर में दो जगहों पर होता हे, एक मस्तिष्क और दूसरा हर्दय। जब यह नाड़ी संस्थान ( nerve system ) को ज्यादा प्रभावित करता हे तो मधुमेह नाम की बिमारी के रूप में प्रकट होती हे और यदि ये तनाव हर्दय की तरफ बढ़ता हे तो हर्दय घात ( heart attack ) का कारण बन जाता हे। इसीलिए आजकल ये दोनों बीमारियाँ बड़े पेमाने पर सामने आ रही हे। अब प्रश्न यह हे कि तनाव क्यों उत्पन्न होता हे ? सरल शब्दों में कहूँ तो अति व्यस्तता ( over scheduling ) ही इन दो बिमारियों का मूल हे जिसे हम सभी को अच्छी तरह से समझने की आवश्यकता हे। हमें कितने की जरुरत हे और कितना चाहते हे इन दोनों का अंतर समझ कर अपनी अपनी मर्यादा का निश्चय समय रहते कर लेना चाहिए ।....

Express Completely

Life provides us opportunities to express ourselves on varied fronts, be it social, academic, carrier wise, public forums or at personal level. Many of us not even recognise these opportunities and defer our decision to work on that and this all leads us to live without effectiveness. We as human being are most intellectual creature of the nature but our intelligence if not used properly can work against our own. 

Some questions we may ask to ourselves :

What debars us expressing completely in our deeds ?

Why hesitation takes prime place while working?

Why we do not create a sound image of ourselves?

Do we perform half heartedly?

Are we really interested in what we are doing ?

Do the outcome inspire us to  work towards it?

Is it a person , location or situation compelling to work ?

Are we so much compelled that we can not make the change we imagined ?

If we can find honest answers of all these questions from ourselves , a kind of clarity we can have towards the life we really wish to live.

whatever we do, barring very few exception of diplomacy , express yourself completely to the extent you can and it will culminate into a big success even you did not sought sometime. half way expressing brings monotony in life , be it job, carrier, education, society or even loving someone.

Crowd puller or crowd follower

 

Why we live our life unsatisfied most of the time. If observed carefully, you will notice that we are either crowd follower or crowd puller. In both situation we remain part of crowd and try to justify ourselves that this is right and this is wrong. Crowd in its own has no brain still it behaves but unpredictably. What if a person too starts behaving in manner like crowd ? Peace would go away and fun of life too. He would always think what others would think if I do this or not do. Is this right way of doing or not according to crowd around him ?

How to remain part of crowd but behave independently and prudentially is what one should seek.Generally leaders are crowd pullers and public is followers but balancing life demands enough maturity to achieve independence constantly.

Let's go further .. Since our childhood we are moulded to think always in default mode like what is hot and cold, love and hate, up and down, good and bad, elder or younger, big or small, black or white, yes or no and it goes on.. This is what I would say crowd mentality . there are number of opposite combinations but you can't predict what odd combination would be picked up by the crowd. So we have to be independent to think and act accordingly then only we can say our journey towards balancing life is going on.

आलंबन (Dependence)

असुरक्षा की भावनाओ से ओत प्रोत हम हर वक्त आलंबन की तलाश करते रहते हें। क्यों स्वयं की क्षमता पर हम भरोसा नहीं करते ? हमेशा हम जाने अनजाने किसी ओर के सहारे से सब ठीक होगा ऐसा क्यों सोचने लग जाते हे ?
अन्दर का डर या आलसीपन या फिर सब यही कर रहे हे इसलिए मुझे भी ऐसा करना चाहिए। यदि हम विश्लेषण करे तो आश्चर्य होगा की कमोबेश हर व्यक्ति किसी अन्य व्यक्ति, स्थान या परिस्तिथि विशेष पर आश्रित सी जिंदगी जीता हे। यदि इसे अव्यक्त गुलामी भी कहा जाय तो कोई अतिशयोक्ति नहीं होगी। दूर द्रष्टी का नहीं होना इसका एक लक्षण अथवा कारण दोनों हो सकते हे।
हमारा स्वभाव स्वतंत्र हे परन्तु हम उसके सही स्वरुप को पुरी तरह नहीं पहचानते। जरा सा हिचकोला हमारे विश्वास को जड़ तक हिला देता हे।
ऐसा क्यों होता हे ? जन्म से अब तक हम सभी का परिवेश ही एसा हे कि हम सोचते भी उसी अनुरूप हे जेसे सब कुछ बाहर से ही संचालित होता हे भीतर की यात्रा के लिए तनिक भी तैयार नहीं हे।
सामान्य से सामान्य विषयों में हम धर्म, बाहरी शक्तियों ,कोई व्यक्ति विशेष, अथवा अन्य प्रतिको से अपेक्षा रखते हुए अपने निजी कार्यो का संपादन करा लेने की अपेक्षा रखते हे ओर अपेक्षित परिणाम नहीं मिलने पर इन माध्यमो को जाने अनजाने कोसने लग जाते हे और अपने प्रयत्नों पर जोर देना लगभग छोड़ देते हे।
हर वक़्त अवलंबन (Dependence) की मनोस्थिति के कारण जीवन को हम अच्छे से जी नहीं पाते।  उदाहरण के लिए उत्सव आनंद देने के बजाय तनाव देते हे। स्वतंत्रता की पहचान आनंद में व्यक्त हो तो ही हम कह सकते हे कि हमारे प्रयत्न सही दिशा में हे।

You Knew It ... Still...

 

1. We can not make everyone happy at a time :To become decisive,we must accept the fact that everyone wont be happy by your actions and we should be ready for that. Your boss may be happy but your subordinates may not, your parents would be happy but spouse may not .

2. Changes are inevitable : to lead a balanced life we should be well aware of that everything changes except the change itself.  I agree , you have read it many times , you know it but while behaving with one or more we forget it and put ourselves in trouble repeatedly. We take something so seriously as if without it sky would fall and our actions start finding wrong directions.

3. Be pragmatic, not dogmatic. : world over most of the successful people's history shows that they were pragmatic and this led them to more acceptance and thereby more success too. Here one should differentiate flexibility and compromise well as per time and situation. Being practical in our approach is very useful in business too.

4. More we are selfish, more unhappiness. :simple rule to happiness is to remain selfless and unattached as much possible as we can. Tonnes of research paper one may find on attaining happiness, I would like to summarize and state that living for self only is not life one should always strive to be good and useful to others too and this will first big step to happiness.  

5. Understand well what governs our life , money, name or something else : if we can understand what really we need at particular stage of life then our efforts would not make us tired early. I would like to mention here that it is better to allow qualities to govern your life instead of a particular person.

6. Measure your freedom from time to time : everyone likes freedom. may be it is financial, social or else. As life advances we should have clarity about it. are we serious about it or just passing time. freedom itself is a big source of happiness.

7. Relate every decision with the time factor: deciding something requires input of time factor. Every decision has to be taken after considering time factor. for example, Mr. John is curious about investing in good home at his native place which is very far from his working place. He thinks he would be staying there for 10 days in a year. This decision should be taken in light of the time factor. What is the age of Mr. John, How healthy he is to commute ?
whether he would be able to maintain the house without going there. This is mere an example to take right decision.

8. If health is wealth then why one should ignore it: commonly it is said that health is wealth but in our routine life we commonly ignore it too. Paying attention and sparing adequate time for health is must and there is no other option to this. adequate exercise, meditation, proper diet pattern has to be followed religiously.

9. Relationship is not just planting a tree , it requires water regularly: all relations are like plants and these requires water at regular intervals. Mostly we find that initially lot of enthusiasm is shown in any new relationship and after sometime maintaining it takes back seat resulting into break ups. Wise   people understands it and keep their relationship live and vibrant.

10. Confusion creates cowards so be sure about yourself: in my seminar, many time I find people are suffering just because they are confused.I suggest here we should always break questions and try to resolve them. Our approach of getting all answers at a time makes confusion more strong. a separate write up on confusion is written on this blog in article section.
    
11. Destiny , religion may be good to understand but taking efforts in right direction is must to achieve something: considerable part of time is spent on discussing what is destiny , where is god, What is religion etc. I would put it this way being spiritual is good but different than what is discussed academically. As an individual our thought process and actions should be focused on what is to be achieved specifically.
 
12. Accept good and bad both: We are happy if we are comfortable. This is human nature that we accept goodness, comfort, love, favor, service, different kind of gadgets but we don't like discomforts , orders, hate, etc. Point here is that everything carries good and bad elements both. If a person loves someone and hates his or her voice , can this work for long ? We have to accept bad and good both simultaneously more particularly in relationship.
     
13. If you don't have good relation with your neighbors, relatives, friends, family members simultaneously then introspect in deep: If you are facing such situation then something is wrong within you and it requires introspection. Just have a second thought about yourself and see what can be changed at your end first.

14. Never say anyone that you are wrong instead make them feel they are wrong if required. But this should not be the aim of life as it consumes lot of energy. Giving space is better than proving someone wrong.

15. Respect and love can not be attained by demanding : it is funny when we come across people seeking respect and love just by demanding. These people are desperate and feel like this is their right and all this leads them to no where.  life is an art of living where love blossoms and respect too showers on deserving and this can not be attained by demanding.

16. Take small steps first before you leap: any mission or goal can be accomplished on sound footing and for that one need to take small steps first. Any plan, team, resources and networking etc. requires grip on minute details hence taking leap is always advised after some small crucial steps.

17. Develop niche in some areas of your choice to make yourself valuable: Many people come with complaints of being not valued, not paid adequately in their job or else. I simply ask them do they update their knowledge  ? Do they have niche in some area where they can become unique or outstanding? if not then strive for this and these complaints will go away.  

18. Peace is the answer not the enmity: never say anybody enemy. Hostility destroys peace and without peace progress can not be achieved. Even due to some event or otherwise somebody is hostile try to overcome such hostility. Some liberal postures and actions can change whole life. I know well many diplomats would not agree to me.

19. Be Simple : living in your true being is relaxing so be simple. Complex life is very stressful. Even if you are wealthy, top achiever in any field , be polite , smiling .... may be you are a great leader of near future !  
   
20. Even after following all the above if you feel things are not as per your expectation , take pause, relax, life teaches you for better role and of course time too changes so don't worry at all, have courage .

Life may seems to be  battles
there are roses and patels
both are there cold and heat
heart is soft keep clean and neat
you may be fathers or mothers too
be happy and keep happy others too..

This article is written after deep study on many cases from different perspective. I wish every word of this write up will be useful not only to an individual but to organizations, societies, or even countries too. I personally dedicate this write up to entire humanity and those counselors who are putting serious efforts to bring happiness in others life selflessly. I appeal all my readers to share this article for spreading knowledge about living life in harmony .... thanks.. 

                                                                                   Ashok Madrecha