इजहार

तूफानो में भी हर सफ़र आसान है
सिर्फ तेरी पनाहों का अहसान है।
उन लम्हों को क्या पता
मेरी तेरी वो गुफ़्तगु और खता।
सिमट के पहलु में छुप जाना
बातों बातों में वो खिलखिलाना।
वेसे भी ये सब करिश्मों से कम नहीं
साथ हो हरदम, अब कोई गम नहीं।
आँखों में स्नेहिल समर्पण के भाव
तपती धूप में जैसे बरगद की छाँव।
दिन सिमट जाता रात के आग़ोश में
फिर राते भी कहा रहती है होश में।
सब कुछ शब्दों में कहना मुश्किल है
बस आप हो, मै हूँ, और ये मेरा दिल है.......।

Programme the Brain

We are on or off is a question. While alive we can say we are on and on expiry we are off. There are other situations, while slipping or in unconscious state, can we say we are on or off. Till we are alive we are engaged so we are on and till the death there is constant programming and our brain too writes complex codes of our life software. One has to understand this programming. Take one example, a person travel overnight by bus and while taking breakfast in morning at his home he feels as if he is traveling and moving in a bus. Many of us had such experience. The point here is that to understand what is the reason behind such experience. The reason is that our brain stores data and if there is repeated situations it creates memory slots which gradually becomes in built programmes which if not checked forms habit and then the mind works in sync with such memory slots.

 The moot point here is that there are two type of brain programmes one which are known to us and the others which are not felt or known completely even when these run in our mind and command body. For instance while digesting food and while breathing, our attention is not sought by body in general.

Now let us think about why it is important to know about brain programming for achieving balancing in life. When we know that repeated instructions or situations leads our brain to react in that direction then it becomes very important how to stay positive and avoid negative thoughts and people both. If you are in company of extreme negative people than very high chance you too start behaving negatively and the reverse too is true. A vigilant person can train his own brain what kind of programming it should seek or not at all. Actually speaking reading about all this programming by the brain would be always little than the practical experience. If remain awakened about our actions and surrounding situations we can write our own program of blessed life and create divine realm around us truly.

तेरा अहसास

वो कनखियों से नजर मिलाते है
अपने तुफानों से पर्वत हिलाते है।
बहुत सादगी से रहते है
आँखों से सब कुछ कहते है।
बेशक शरारत और मस्ती का करिश्मा है
अँधेरे में जलती हुई एक शमां है।
रूबरू होके भी अक्श छुपाने का अंदाज
बताओं भला इस खूबसूरती का राज।
लबों से कुछ बोलते तो शायद तराना बन जाता
इन लम्हों के साथ इकरार का बहाना बन जाता।
हवाओं में खुशबु सी समाई है
मुद्दत से वो मेरे शहर में आई है। 

उनके कदमो की आहट करीब आ रही
देखो बहारे मस्ती के गीत गा रही।
लौटा यौवन फूलों का, चांदनी आवारा हो चली
निश्चित है गौरी आज खूब सज धज के चली।
मिलने की आस अधूरी थी अब तक
कितना तड़पाओगे, और कब तक।
वादा करो कि फिर नहीं जाओगे
रूबरू रहके, ताजिंदगी साथ निभाओगे।

हकीकत (Truth)

हमें रोकने की हर कोशिश कर रहे वो
फूटे गुब्बारों में हवा भर रहे वो।
हर महफ़िल में उनके इंतजाम हो गए
हमारी बदनामी के किस्से आम हो गए।
कुछ मेरे अपने उनके साथ हो लिये
कुछ उनके अपने मेरे साथ हो लिए।
रास्तों में काँटे बिछाना उनका सुकून था
हमें भी मंजिल पाने का बड़ा जूनून था।
हर मुश्किल एक नया पाठ पढ़ाती थी
अनजानी सी प्रेरणा आगे बढाती थी।
उस यात्रा का हर मोड़ और पड़ाव याद है
वो रूकावटो के दौर भी बखूबी याद है।
कोई गिला शिकवा नहीं दौरे मोहब्बत में
सीखा समझा बहुत कुछ उनकी सोहबत में।
कद्र और कदरदान अब कहाँ नजर आते है
दो प्रेमी भी अब तो मिलने की रस्म निभाते है।

___ अशोक मादरेचा

इनसे बचे - अहम,ज्यादा लगाव और वहम ( Ego, Over Attachment and Doubts )

जिंदगी बहुत छोटी छोटी चीजों से प्रभावित होती है और अनजाने में ही हम न जाने कितनी उलझनों को पाल लेते है।  तीन बाते हमें बहुत ज्यादा प्रभावित करती है , अहम , जरुरत से ज्यादा लगाव और वहम।  ये तीन बातें हर कदम पर हमारे व्यव्हार को निर्देशित करती रहती है और हम इनसे निरंतर दुःख अथवा सुख को अनुभव करते है।  यहाँ सुख का प्रतिशत नगण्य रहता है और दुःख इंसान पर हावी हो जाता है। 

आपने देखा होगा कि :

एक पिता इसलिए दुखी है क्यों की उसके बच्चे उसे पूछ कर कार्य नहीं करते। सोसायटी में सचिव हर वक़्त तनाव में रहता है, उसे डर है कहीं सदस्य उसके नियमों  को अवहेलना न कर बैठे। ट्रस्टी अथवा न्यासी को डर है कहीं ट्रस्ट की समितियों में उसका पद कोई और न ले ले। भागीदार को शंका है कि उसका भागीदार  व्यसाय में कोई प्रतियोगी के साथ न मिल जाय। राजनेता को डर है कही उसकी सत्ता छिन न जाये। पत्नी दुखी है क्यों कि उसका पति उसकी हर बात नहीं मानता। पति दुखी है क्यों कि पत्नी बहुत सवाल करती है। और भी कई उदाहरण हम अपने आस पास देख सकते है और इन सभी का सही विश्लेषण करे तो समझ में आएगा कि अहम , वहम या जरुरत से ज्यादा लगाव हमें सचमुच दुखी कर देता है। हम हर वस्तु को अपना मान बैठते है, उस पर अपना स्वामित्व जताने लगते है और इस प्रक्रिया में जब अहम पर चोट लगती है तो मानने को बिलकुल तैयार नहीं होते। सच्चाई तो यह हे कि जब अच्छी बात हो रही होती है परन्तु हमें पूछ कर नहीं की गयी तो हम उसके असफल होने की कामना करने लग जाते है। न केवल कामना बल्कि उसे असफल करने के लिए अपने सारे साधन भी काम पर लगा देते है। ये सब अहम के कारण होता है। लगाव की अधिकता से होता है या फिर कुशंकाओं के कारण होता है। जब हम सरलता से जीना छोड़ देते हे तो अहम वहाँ अपना घर बनाने के लिए तैयार रहता है। जिसे अहम होता है वो शंकालु भी ज्यादा होता है। ऐसे व्यक्ति भले किसी और से लगाव रखे या नहीं रखे परन्तु अपने अहम से सर्वोच्च लगाव रखते है और सिर्फ अपने आप को सही मानना इनके जीवन का आदर्श होता है। 

Nothing is Free

Everything we seek, has a price. You like or dislike, price is constantly tagged. You pay it willingly or unwillingly it is unavoidable. The price could be high or low, it has to be paid in different form,but we have to pay. So how to go about? Acceptance is the only answer. One has to prepare for  it and change his plans so.

Our life is full of constant challenges and we have to be certain about our actions so. Wishing to have something ? Think and ask yourself. Can you afford it ? If yes, is it worth? Such analysis is very useful and always wise to carry out. Many times we wish something to happen but feel, society or government will pay the price and if it doesn't happen we start blaming to whole system and complain all the time and it becomes a habit which eventually leads to constant sufferings. 

Mind well nothing is free. If something free, then be cautious, there would be big price, just wait, time is preparing to teach you another lesson. I personally studied about super returns in corporates and many instances of people too. They all came to normalcy soon. The free and even easy both don't sustain for longer time. 

There would be more and more struggles if you don't pay at all. If you avoid paying the right price and create shortcuts it would make you problem more complex and end up screwing it more and more at your cost only. I don't say seeking or wishing something is wrong, expecting something completely free should be avoided. For instance shedding ego or having ego both makes you pay the price. In both cases one has to adjust or compromise somewhere. Every field, be it career, spiritual, personal improvement, sports or whatever, all ask for price, efforts, money or other resources. In a nutshell we have to be ready for a price and balance it with justifying our capacity to afford and having right worth both. That's what life suggests us so set mind to pay the right price.

प्रयास ( Effort )

प्रयास की दिशा सही हो
भाव अपने वही हो।
निरंतर बस लगे रहो
कर्म सलीके से करते रहो।
लगन से हर मुकाम मिलता है
वक्त पे ही सुन्दर फूल खिलता है।
धैर्य की परीक्षा तो होगी
काम की समीक्षा भी होगी।
अपनी आशा और जोश साथ रखे
विश्वास रखे और खुद को भी परखे।
हर ऊँच नीच को अपना लेना
आत्म विश्वास को परम मित्र बना लेना।
भीड़ की सोच में उलझ मत जाना
तुम खास हो अपनी मंजिल खुद पाना।
बिल्कुल मत घबराना
प्रयासों के घनत्व को बढ़ाना।
दुनियाँ भी आसपास घूमेगी
सफलता तुंम्हारे कदम चूमेगी।
.......अशोक मादरेचा

तड़पन

बरसों से बिखरा हुआ हूँ, अब तो मुझे सवाँर दो
बहुत तन्हा हूँ, थोड़ा ही सही पर कुछ तो प्यार दो।

वफ़ा के आइनों में पाक चेहरे कहाँ से लाऊँ में
बंद है दरवाजे सब बताओ कहाँ तक जाऊं मै।

वक़्त बदलता रहा , शहर के बाजारों की तरह
हमने शहर बदले आपकी तलाश में बंजारों की तरह।

उम्मीदों की रौशनी में हर पल याद आते हो
मेरे अपने हो फिर भी इतना जुल्म ढाते हो।

झील सी आँखे चेहरे पे गजब का नूर था
सिर्फ नज़रों से बाते की, मेरा क्या कसूर था।

इश्क के उसूल नहीं मालूम, आपका आना जरुरी है
बिलकुल मत कहना इस बार, फिर कोई मज़बूरी है।

Small experiments for big changes

Small experiments can make big changes in our life. Here is the list of some experiments one should experience and strike right balance in life.

1. Celebrate no complaints day : For our own sake we can fix at least a day in a week which is completely free from complaints. We can increase our acceptance level to adjust all situations on a particular day to make a nice start. Amazing changes happen, just follow and feel.
 
2. forgive your worst enemy: If you have no enemy than far better but if you have than try forgiving him or her from bottom of your heart. I agree this is not small thing but assume it small and let it happen.This will make you stress free to a great extent.

3. Network is net worth, realize it in time: Right kind of networking at right age make your life tremendous success. We can not do all things on our own. We can not get everything done by paying some money. Human life can not avoid being social.Those who remain aloof must reconsider and open the doors of happiness by establishing and maintaining proper networking. One can start this with contacting at least a friend per day. Make your presence wherever you feel its worth. These small gestures can unleash your potential eventually.

4. Help someone for nothing in return: It is not necessary that we expect something in return all the time. Helping someone for no reason can really make you feel happy. Small favors to someone who is stuck up, may make our life graceful and blessed too.
  
5. Ask your elders if any support they need from you: elders generally do not ask for help or support unless they feel very comfortable with someone. Take this as an opportunity and lend a helping hand without waiting for their request. It is equally true within family or outside family.

6. Spare few minutes for you alone: Talk at least once to yourself daily. Those who don't talk to themselves remain empty for long and need outside support constantly. Our own soul is full of unlimited power but we have to search it by communication.
  
7. Plant a tree at least if you can: Ask the quantum of pleasure to a person who planted a tree and saw it grown up. It is very positive thing we can give to our earth.

8. Teach what you can but for free to someone who really need it: There are plenty of people who may need different kind of guidance. If one has skill and experience, he should share it so more and more people will benefit from it

These are some small things we can follow and make our life more balanced.

Know Your True Potential

Knowing self is very important. True potential is seldom known. Typical apprehensions are common i.e. I can't do this, if I do I will fail, I am not the right person to pursue this and the list goes on. These apprehensions haunts us very badly. People around us make feel like this only as they carry such thoughts. Each person in this world is unique. There are huge possibilities if we really explore it by developing an unbiased thought process. Most of the time we don't know the level of skills, and abilities we own and remain deprived of the unbelievable benefits throughout our life. There are many examples. If we search history we find that how ordinary persons can convert themselves into outstanding achievers.

Actually we create our own boundaries and gradually get habitual of a set comfort zone which we don't wish to cross as if there is an ocean just besides it. We draw lines across our own path and most of the time these lines are results of fear and illusions which are totally nonexistent. Time provides nice opportunities but we feel like we don't deserve it and everything passes in front of our eyes. 

There are two type of personalities. First those who are self inspired and second, those who always need inspiration from outside. Those who fall in second type, should invariably strive to stay in company with people of positive mindset and read good books. One has to come out from negative thoughts and focus on " I can" and this will manifest their true potential. Many people I met during my motivational sessions and observed repeatedly that when they share their stories the most prominent fact comes on surface is that they didn't know themselves. They wait for some magical trigger which will change their life and all these thoughts makes them more vulnerable to inactions for a prolonged time.

Know well about your real limitations and simultaneously see to it that a little push in your efforts can make visible changes within you. I repeat, there is a huge potential, open doors and see "yes you can". It is true that entire world is not our own asset but there is something special in this world to own for everyone and that special space we have to find and know the true potential of ourselves.

Let's find it and make our life more balanced and meaningful.

CA Ashok Madrecha

Have Some Spiritual Touch

Life is not a destination, it is always a journey having different milestones for different people. While moving ahead everyone gets tired sooner or later. All are never satisfied with their pace or achievements but there is a great need of spiritual touch in everybody's life. 

One may ask what is this spiritual touch. Each one of us may follow any religion but spiritualism should essentially put us more in our very own soul. It should make us feel free from inner self. It enables us to communicate with our inner self. There are different way to get spiritual. One should have a divine touch of spiritualism on daily basis. We may find it by meditation or going to particular religious place for prayers, helping others and so on. Even looking peacefully at some clean and calm water in a lake or observing stars at midnight may make us feel spiritual. There are different ways but one should follow the real spiritual feeling . It gives us required pauses and recharge our inner system with positive energy.

Life finds its balance if there is some spiritual touch in it. If our energy gets scattered, It provides the requisite focus. It is not necessary that one should spend long hours to get spiritual. Even a daily 20 minutes time too can make a lot of difference. Practicing it regularly is essential. I followed it and suggested to many. The result was quite amazing. There were paradigm shift and people stopped complaining about availability of right resources and presence of wrong circumstances. Initially they all started with dual mind-set but those who were consistent, they are now clear about it and enjoying higher consciousness in their life. The spirituality is not the only means and the way, just to fulfill a wish.This is not a spirituality. It is something else and one should not get confused with it. If understood properly spirituality may change your life completely so let us have a spiritual touch.

आत्मविश्वास (Self Confidence)

अंतर से उठ रही अविराम तड़पती आवाज

ओ प्रिय तन्हाई पास आओ आज  .…।

तमन्नायें दबती रही, निराशाएं घर करती रही।

झूठे दिलासों के बीच, अमर आशाएं मरती रही .…।

घने कोहरों के बीच, जंगलो में टहलता रहा

कृतत्व और पुरुषार्थ, करने को मचलता रहा .…।

अब सन्नाटों में समय से, कुछ प्रश्न करने की अभिलाषा है

उत्तर मिले या ना मिले, बरसो पुरानी जिज्ञासा है .…।

कहूँगा समय को ,सत्य साथ लेकर आना

ना चलेगा कोई बहाना, मुझे तो बस उत्तर पाना .…।

उलझनों से निकलने की ठान ली है

वक़्त की नब्ज जो पहचान ली है .…।

अब अवरोध सभी हट जायेंगे

गम के बादल छट जायेंगे .…।

विसंगतियों को चुनोती देता हूँ

पूर्ण विश्वास से संकल्प लेता हूँ .…।

समता को अपनाकर,अंतरिक्ष से आगे तक इरादा है

आत्मबिश्वास के आगे ये लक्ष्य कौनसा ज्यादा है .…।

अब तूफ़ान मुझे रोक नहीं पाएंगे

राहों में कोई टोक नहीं पाएंगे .…।

रुक गए यो बहुत खलेगा

घबराने से काम नहीं चलेगा .…।

सब दिशाओं को निर्देशित कर दूंगा

मुरझाए दिलों में नयी उर्झा भर दूंगा .…।

पल प्रति पल प्रयत्न करूँगा

मै विजय श्री का वरण करूँगा .…।

मै विजय श्री का वरण करूँगा .…।

…अशोक मादरेचा

आशा (Hopes)

समर्पण  के सेतु से परमात्म तक की यात्रा
आत्मा के हेतु से बंधे हुए हर असहज को
सहज कर देने की ऊर्जा और दिशाओं को
सीमित कर दे ऐसी कृपा की मात्रा। 
हर पल के अस्तित्व को नव आयाम देती हुई
स्वयं को पहचानने की लालसा का अनुभव
होना तो शुरुआत है पर यही मंजिलो तक का
सफर करा देती है विश्राम भी देती हुई।
इरादों का बुलंद होना, और सतत परिश्रम का पालन
कुछ दूर नहीं होता फिर, मनुष्य के लिए
क्या करना है, क्यों करना है, कब करना है
इस उलझन से निकले तो, सफलता करेगी गुंजन।
पुरुषार्थ और आडम्बर का फर्क स्पष्ट रहे हरदम
व्यर्थ में जाया ना करे समय और साधनों को
प्रमाद से दूर रहकर, आनंद के भावों में विचरे बस
इतनी सी बातें है, फिर क्यों कष्ट सहे हम।

-- अशोक मादरेचा

Life - Stuck up or Straying ?

Dealing with Feelings of Stagnation and Wandering

Most of us occasionally find ourselves feeling bored or experiencing a significant decline in enthusiasm for life. If this feeling persists, it’s important to take it seriously and assess whether you’re stuck or simply straying off course. Life presents us with many questions—some have straightforward answers, while others do not—and it’s often these unanswered questions that leave us feeling this way.

Life is full of ups and downs, but those who possess clarity and the ability to overcome indecisiveness can better manage their state of mind and navigate life’s uncertainties.

Symptoms of Feeling Stuck or Straying:

1. Aimless Wandering: Some people frequently go out without any specific purpose. This might also include taking unnecessary leaves from work without any real reason.

2. Irritability: Their behavior becomes more irritable, especially towards family members and close friends.

3. Procrastination: Even when there’s work to be done, they delay it. This procrastination is a common symptom, reducing their overall effectiveness.

4. Excessive Use of Social Media: They become addicted to social media, spending hours updating their status and chatting with people who aren’t significant in their lives.

5. Increased Consumption of Alcohol and Drugs: To escape their feelings of being stuck or lost, some may start drinking more or even resort to drugs.

6. Seeking Happiness in Strangers: Interestingly, such individuals may look for happiness in strangers rather than in their trusted friends or relatives.

7. Irregular Eating Habits: Their eating patterns become irregular, leading to a decline in their overall health.

8. Lack of Interest in Work: Even if their job is secure, they lose interest and start applying for other positions.

9. Sudden Aggression or Depression: Their reactions become unpredictable, with sudden outbursts of anger or bouts of depression.

10. Seeking Unnecessary Approval: They may lose confidence in themselves and start seeking approval from others for every little decision.

11. Blaming Themselves and Others Without Cause: They may start blaming themselves or others for no apparent reason, and this habit can become ingrained over time.

How to Overcome These Situations

If you notice these symptoms in a friend or relative, it’s important to take steps to help them. While there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, here are some strategies that might help:

1. Be Practical: Practicality is key. Whether it’s work, goals, or other aspects of life, everything should be achievable and realistic. Often, things don’t work out because they aren’t practical, which leads to feelings of being stuck.

2. Avoid Negative People: If someone is already struggling with indecisiveness, being around negative people will only make things worse. It’s better to avoid such influences.

3. Consult a Trusted Mentor: If you have a mentor you trust, seek their advice. Share your feelings and symptoms with them.

4. Engage in Creative Activities: When all other avenues seem closed, turn inward. Creative activities like gardening, painting, writing, or reading poetry can be very therapeutic.

5. Refresh Your Goals: If your current goals seem out of reach, reassess and create a new list of goals that you truly want to pursue.

6. Evaluate Your Direction: If you’re feeling stuck, make sure your efforts are aligned with the right direction. Reassess your path and start anew if necessary.

7. Start Small: Begin with small, manageable steps. Expecting major results immediately is unrealistic.

8. Know Your Limits: Understand the resources available to you and set your limits accordingly. Knowing your boundaries can prevent feelings of being stuck.

9. Read Inspirational Books or Watch Motivational Movies: Inspirational content can be incredibly uplifting. Seek out books or movies that provoke thought and offer motivation.

10. Change Your Environment: Spending time in a serene, natural environment with close friends or family can rejuvenate your spirit and bring new energy to your routine.

11. Keep Your Hopes Alive: Above all, maintain hope. Remember, nothing is permanent—neither the good nor the bad. Challenges are opportunities for growth, and something new and better may be on the horizon.

It’s important to understand that feeling stuck and feeling like you’re straying are different experiences, though they can happen simultaneously. The key is to recognize your current situation and take steps to overcome it. By following the suggestions above, you can gain clarity and regain control of your life. If the issue involves another person, consider the situation from their perspective as well. What seems right for you may not be the same for them. Stay positive, and work towards making your life more balanced, lively, and vibrant. 

Ashok Madrecha

How To Stay Happy

When somebody asked me "How to stay happy" I took risk to reply such question which is generally asked to some Saint or spiritual leader, I explained it as under:

Whole human life is chasing something , getting something, having something or maintaining something. The person was not satisfied and he insisted to explain it further and I had to elaborate my reply and the question and concept implied in it both were manifest.

In this world we are mostly busy in four type of activities:

1. To make or get money and wealth,
2. To have name, fame and be influential.
3. To love and get loved
4. To keep up all the above three in favor on sustained basis.

We can notice well that almost everybody is busy with the above four kind of activities. Level of busyness might be the different person to person depending upon his or her priorities. Now coming on the question "How to be Happy", the point here is that if we are in these four activities only than our happiness would be limited to our needs. In other words, if my need of wealth is acute than it would give happiness to the extent the money and wealth I can consume, the moment the need gets satisfied, happiness will start finding new definition in another activities and it will shift its focus to other activities and this shifting becomes a habit. In this process the real happiness is never finding its value and due importance too. So what to do ? simple answer is that if we can spare part of our time for any such activity which does not fall in these four activities than happiness starts coming in.

To make it simple, such as if someone draws a picture , sing a song, plays piano, walks in a garden, looks at beautiful stars in night, observes sunrise, listen music, meditates, prays, forgives, studies positive thoughts, involves in good sports, supporting others and so on. All these should not have any motive which if eventually leads to the four activities than happiness would be artificial and not the real. In simple words if we start involving in any such activities which is not categorized as part of the four mentioned above than most probably there would be happiness and balance in life too. Those who practices it well, would know it better.      

Connect or Reconnect Well

Life demands connecting and reconnecting with variety of people. It is very important to understand how we connect or reconnect with people. It is well-known fact that if we respect someone, it makes him happy and if we hurt his ego it would invite his anger. If we salute or shake hand with smiling face it makes a lot of difference. If an employee while attending his or her duty says good morning to boss, it makes difference. If two friends are meeting after a long time then they would notice each other how they are reconnecting. Successful people always balance their life by maintaining their behavior in right direction. I noticed many cases where promotion of particular employees was kept on hold explaining no reasons and the only reason was that the employee did not know the basic knowledge of how to connect well. Not only in job, it affects our personal life too. Take an example, a person arranged a party and invited many friends. One of his good friend could not come due to sickness of his spouse. The friend called and expressed his inability to come. While attending call, the person simply said OK and not even bothered to ask about health of his friend's spouse. Here we miss out badly and forget how to connect properly. If some sweet words can heal someone than why not to say and win heart too. Is it necessary to have some academic educational for all these gestures.

Sometime thinking of who will start first makes thing complex. Life is like a river and there are only two sides. We all too have to move and flow between these two sides only. My point here is that these two sides are always facing each other and they have to stay internally well-connected for the flow of the water. The same is true when we interact with someone and our inner self remains well-connected to communicate better and have a nice relationship too. The connecting or reconnecting naturally makes a lasting effect. There are different way to connect by meeting personally, talking on phone, gifting something, helping someone by extending a favor and so on. Let us connect better to have balance in our life. 

Exploring Options

Process of achieving any goal essentially travel through various options. We as human being knowingly or unknowingly creating or finding options and sometime it becomes a habit which affects our decisions leading to severe delays totally uncalled for.

 

Exploring options is a good process but it should have some limit and at certain stage one should strive to come out of options and settle somewhere within his or her limits. This applies to any field, be it carrier, study, education, a particular situation or relationship matters. While exploring options several facts come up on surface and that gives clarity about practical side of all the options available to any one. One has to see carefully all the facts about an option and that too from different point of view and then reach to a logical and practical conclusion without being affected by emotions attached to it. If there is confusion one can list out all the positive and negative side of an option and then filter out the points which are most suitable and applied to her or him to reach a conclusion.

The principle of calculating highest loss in any decision is applicable while an option is shortlisted for action. One must question himself both side, What if I go ahead and what if don't. Make honest comparison and the picture would be clear. Sometime the third option is available and that is "Don't go for any option" but generally such situations are rare. One should stay rational and take enough care that it does not make him or her regressive.

 When an option is opted, focus emerges, freedom to work is decided, direction gets defined and results too follow early. Crux of the matter is that  one has to go through the process of options but coming out of it is essential to move forward and striking right balance in life.        

समाज की सच्चाई

जाने अनजाने हम क्यूँ अमरता का आभास करते है
खूब करते दिखावा और कितनों का परिहास करते है।
हर बात में अपने अहम् का पालन अब सहज हो चला
कुछ करने की जल्दी में रिश्तों की चिंता क्यूँ हो भला।
अर्थ के बुखार में समय सीमित लगने लगा है
क्या बुढ़ापा क्या जवानी, बचपन भी रोने लगा है।
हर मनुज दोहरी जिंदगी जीने को मजबूर हुआ
भाग रहा इधर उधर स्वयं से कितना दूर हुआ।
अपनों के बीच बैठ बतियाना अब कहा दिखता है
हर चीज के होते मोलभाव , रोज जमीर बिकता है।
बटोरतें सुर्खियां अख़बारों में विज्ञापनों का दौर चल रहा है
सिर्फ पदों का बंटवारा , देखो कैसे समाज बदल रहा है।
हुए कब्जे पानी और जमीनों पे हवाएं अब मुश्किलो में है
धर्म राजनीति का शिकार है न मालूम और क्या दिलो में हे।
ओरो की छोड़ो परिवारों में राजनीति हावी होने लगी
उलझनों के दावपेच में करुणा मैत्री तो खोने लगी।
जरूरतों के पहाड़ के नीचे दबा इंसान कितना अकेला है
साफ है मकान उसका पर अंदर से कितना मैला है।
अहसास तो होता है पर स्वीकार नहीं करते
नियति कहके उसको सब तिल तिल मरते।
हर ख़ुशी कल पर टाल कर वर्तमान की बलि चढ़ा दी
जो मिला उसमे सबर नहीं, नहीं मिला वहाँ नजर घड़ा दी।
सरलता छोड़कर उलझनों को अपनाया
खुद के बजाय ओरों को सुधारने में वक़्त गवांया।
नेता की पदवी मिली समाज में तो मन बहुत इठलाया
हर वक़्त जुगाड़ में रहे कि कौन क्या लाया।
शिकायत है इनको आजकल नींद नहीं आती
मन अशांत है खुशियां करीब नहीं आती।
एक भी ऐसी रात नहीं ये कोई अचरज की बात नहीं
वो भीड़ में अलग दीखते होंगे पर कोई उनके साथ नहीं।
मै सच कहता हूँ इस महफ़िल में
बुरा मत लगाना कोई भी दिल में।
यहाँ जीवन तमाशा बन गया और सब चुपचाप है
अब ऐसा मत कहना कि यहाँ बोलना भी पाप है।
वक़्त रहते हम्ही को बदलाव लाने होंगे
टूटते परिवार और रिश्तों को बचाने होंगे।
गौरवशाली है संस्कार हमारे भावी पीढ़ी को ये समझने दो
अवसर दो अशोक अब उनको आगे बढ़ने दो।

What Governs Your Life ?

Life is available in limited time slots and we spend it with our own chosen path. It is very important for us to know what really governs our life. We grow with different priorities at different time but sometime we stay stuck up with a type of static mentality or set of mind and it starts governing our life either positively or negatively. There are permutations or combinations of what really governs us. Prominently these are the points which governs or controls us knowingly or unknowingly :

1. A person or group of people : As a member of society we all stay in touch with variety of people. These people are from our relatives, mentors, friends and so on. Everybody from these affects us and we exchange multiple inputs from each other in our behavior. More we depend upon other people more we allow them to govern our life and choice is ours only.

    

2. Mission : Many of us have some mission for life. Accomplishing a mission demands deep devotion and it governs all our activities for that period. A mission completed in time or remained uncompleted for long affects tremendously. 

3. Location and Atmosphere : We stay, live at a particular place and the atmosphere around us makes a lot of difference. When we are exposed to very polluted atmosphere and simultaneously deprived of basic amenities, we become totally different from people who are grown up in a pollution free zone and had all comforts of life.

4. Thoughts and perceptions : The main cause which affects our life most is the thoughts and perceptions we develop. Our thoughts, perceptions , fears, positiveness, and negativeness makes us a different person. Over a time we draw lines of different colors in our life and live it with consciously or unconsciously. 

5. Comfort zone : In our life , we all have our own comfort zones in different fields. If any force comes to disturb it, we resist it. We dislike changes and even if there are  forceful changes, we would like them to happen within our comfort zones only and this way it governs our life.

6  Uncertainty : There is uncertainty all around and it affects us depending upon level of our resistance. Those who can not understand it are vulnerable to indecisiveness and their life is more governed by uncertainty.

7. Object, things : many of us like and dislike things or objects of different kind. one may like a particular car or other one may like to have a beautiful house at riverside and so on. If our views are object centric than we would be more governed by availability or unavailability of such things or objects.

8. Position, Power, Wealth : Position, power and wealth in life too governs many of us. We notice many time that if money is available, than power will be most sought  and if the powerful position is available than wealth becomes most sought after. 

9. Health : Health governs almost everyone in one way or another. If it is good, life is better and if the health is not good than everything in life seems not well. Even health of a family member or close friend too affects us very prominently 

Mute point is to know not only what affects us, it is also important that if something affects or governs us, do we know at what level it is rational. If it has become part and parcel of our routine, then we must reassess and find out , is it really that much important which governs us or we must come out of that and change for better.  

The above analysis is not solving problems we face in general, but it is just trying to have more clarity about the life. It may offer some clue about the right direction which is missing sometime for long. A well thought life finds its purpose and becomes more meaningful if we review from time to time that what really governs us. 

Relevance of Time and Success

In simple words I would like to say when something is not succeeding just see whether the time element studied is well while charting out a course for action. Time is vital to every spheres of life. practically what happens many time that we plan success as object and act so without giving much importance to time. Lets have an example, a person aged around 61 years who is very skilled in a particular profession and one fine day a friend trusted to him came with a proposal to set up a new venture in an area which is totally new to him but sounded high profitability. How should he react to this proposal. There could be varied answers for this as per his priority. He studied the proposal and decided to enter into it. They started well and the venture turned out to a success story in terms of profit and turnover too but the Old man was not happy and the reason was that he became so busy and his personal freedom was compromised. At the age of 61 he dreamed of a very peaceful life full of privacy and enjoy but it happened just opposite because of the reason that while entering into the venture he ignored the time element. He should have thought that was it the right time he should have started the venture for him which will need that much personal attention and energy. He simply chased the success and the time started punishing him though the so-called success was with him. 

Every decision if tested on the ground and within boundaries of time which controls all then it would be far easy to filter out our priorities and the compulsions too in a particular period. Yes there may be situations where time may not allow us to do something but at the same time if we change direction than time too changes and it extends favor to move ahead. if something is coming our ways we should ask ourselves :

Is this relevant to me now ?

Is it what I dream upon ?  

Is this time is suitable to act upon ?

Is it the only option left now ?

how aggressively I should act to make something ?

What is the time left upon to go for something ?

If I opt to go for it, is it worth for me at this time ?

These questions may help us to realize rationality of any decision in our life and thus we gradually start living our life with balanced relevance of time in our mind.   
      

Simplicity forgotten

Just think and find honest answers of these questions :

How many friends we have with whom we can really share our feelings ?
With the advancing age numbers of our friends are increasing or decreasing?
Do people feel that we are out of reach for them to meet or say something?
Do we too feel lonely all the time?

 If the answers are affirmative of these questions than we must be sure about the fact that we have lost our simplicity and due to this suffering to a lot.

A child remains happy because he is unaware of complexity of life but a man or woman remains happy "sometimes". Why sometime, why not most of the time? Things are made complicated by ourselves only. We walk but think of dress code, or even the type of shoes we should wear. We wish to move around but think often what type of company we should have. We wish to sing a song but afraid of what people will comment and so on. In reality nobody is much concerned about anyone but our fear makes everything much complicated and we get compelled to live lonely.

Be simple, smiling and the real one and it helps lot in maintaining good relationship too. If anyone close to us feels that we are unapproachable than it is not good sign for a nice relationship.

We have seen many times people plan a lot for a picnic but as soon as they reach to the spot their mind starts focusing only on how and when to move back and they simply forget to feel the place howsoever nice it is. In the garden they can't enjoy the blooming roses, even can't see the sky which is colorful at morning and full of stars in the night. They simply ignore to see the beauty of dew dropped on a flower. They simply forget to take a single deep breath in the fresh air and so on.

Simplicity does not mean we should not have ambition. Individual destiny may be different but living a simple life can be gift to ourselves and a big fun for those who really makes it. Simplicity expands our inner space so we can feel more, observe more. We may compare this with a computer wherein if multiple programs run it becomes slow or sometime hangs too. So be simple and enjoy the life.

-- CA Ashok Madrecha

पिता का पुत्र को संदेश

मुखर कर उन्मेष को उत्कर्ष की तरफ
प्रयत्न कर उखाड़ दे हर मायूसी की बर्फ।

ये तूफान ही रास्ता बनाएँगे बस जान लेना
वक़्त रहते रास्तों का मिजाज पहचान लेना।

दूर है मधुमास अभी बहुत बीहड़ में चलना बाकी
उलफत में मत रहना ये शुरुआत की है झांकी।

दो दो हाथ मुश्किलों से होना बहुत आम होगा
इंसानों की दुनियाँ में ये वाकया सुबह शाम होगा।

लक्ष्य पे नजर रखना दिन में भी कदम बहकते है
जरा सम्भलना हर गली मोहल्लों में इंसान रहते है।

आकाश नापना है तो इरादों में जोश होना चाहिए
दूर कितनी है मंजिल इसका भी होश होना चाहिए।

तान लो सुनहरे वितान वक़्त तुम्हे इंद्रधनुषी रंग दे
नया सवेरा हर सुबह तुम्हे चिर आशा की उमंग दे।

----  अशोक मादरेचा

Art of refusal

In general while maintaining our decency level of behavior we develop a tendency to accept everything which even we do not like to do and forget the concept of refusing. If refusing is not kept in mind we will land up at total mess at work or even in our social relations too. lets have a look at one example:

A professional lawyer having enough level of practice never said no to any assignment coming to him. The resulting scenario of his office is:
1. The boss is always busy
2. The employees too seem to be busy but reporting and execution level quite a week
3. Professional fee billing is increasing but net bottom-line almost stagnant
4. Office environment quite stressful
5. Always staff and boss both working beyond office hours  
5. Total system almost in a mess and so on.

Social side of the same Lawyer above:

Being in profession for a long time he has developed social and personal relations with the clients well but due to his ignorance about the art of refusal the scenario of his personal life is:
1. Can not spare enough time for family.
2. Shrewd people make use of him.
3. There seems to be no planning in life as such.
4. Financial independence is good but level of satisfaction is very low.
5. Developing health hazards.
6. Total absence of fun, joy, peace and so on.    

We can visualize what can be the impact of ignoring the concept of refusal by the example. Now lets think on "How to Say No and Refuse"

First we have to develop firmness about ourselves, decide what we require and what not. What are our resources and at what cost of time, energy and monetary level we can afford to do a particular task in a given time frame. if not, We must refuse it and avoid such mess which makes our life hell. Time is precious and it is allotted to all in terms of age and that too in the limited slot then why we should neglect it. Now lets have a look at different ways to say "No"

1. Say directly No where we have no personal bindings or relationship.
2. Develop our system (office norms, policy of working etc.) to handle the refusal.
3. We can put the burden of refusal on lack of resources. I mean we can simply say no due to non availability of some resource hence we won't be able to accomplish a task or assignment.
4. Sometime task itself does not require perfection, then do only what is required. this too is a kind of  limited refusal.
5. Delegation of task at different levels, in other words creating layers makes us easy to say No. 

The lawyer knew all this well and decided to change himself. He listed all the areas where he was just taking the assignments which were not remunerated enough and could be avoided. He seriously applied the concept of refusal and what happened just see here:

1. His stress level came down considerably.
2. At the beginning his professional fee billing came down by 20% but after a few months it increased with the addition of more new good clients and his profitability (bottom line) also improved in a positive direction.
3. He was far more confident person than earlier
4. Clarity about life emerged and he started enjoying quality time with family and friends.
5. His health too improved.
6. Ultimately he is more rich and knew well that what is really meaningful to him.
     
I hope knowing the art of refusal can help anyone to have the right balance in life. This article is based on my practical experience of more than 25 years and many interactive seminars I have addressed so far. If you like it , please share it for a nice cause of helping others.
Ashok Madrecha