Start Living Life in Your Own Way

The great gap of our efforts and the yield creates a lot of dissatisfaction. Whenever I asked about life in my conferences, I noticed some common things prevailing such as lack of clarity, and everybody was more concerned about others. The funny part was that those who thought they are more committed to family, relatives, friends etc, they were more unhappy lot. In fact these people were in impression that they are doing a lot for family etc. but in turn they were emotionally bound and became more expecting from others but the Others were in comfortable zone and not thinking of the contribution made by their family members etc. One has to strike right kind of balance between self-development and helping others. 

We have to understand more about efforts, attachment and expectations. Being human, we take part in something, we stick to it without reason sometime, we start expecting returns, we behave like having sole onus of changing others. These are the set rules which govern our life. If we refresh our complete thought process and learn to accept changes and understand situations, joy of life will unleash forever. 

While taking more interest in others' life we completely forget about our own creativity. Everyone of us is unique and own some skill or art which is special but we hardly find enough time to nurture it as we are very busy studying others affairs. Living life in own way is awesome. When we shift our attention from others to ourselves we start knowing self and suddenly direction of life becomes reality. Some tips in nutshell:

1. Policy of Changing others will make you more busy only

2. See yourself first if you really wish to move

3. Expecting all as per your plan is sure way to invite sorrow

4. Limit your attachment.

5. Decide clearly what exactly you wish, freedom, inner happiness or money

6. If really decided, avoid procrastination and enjoy living life in your own way.

Small experiments for big changes

Small experiments can make big changes in our life. Here is the list of some experiments one should experience and strike right balance in life.

1. Celebrate no complaints day : For our own sake we can fix at least a day in a week which is completely free from complaints. We can increase our acceptance level to adjust all situations on a particular day to make a nice start. Amazing changes happen, just follow and feel.
 
2. forgive your worst enemy: If you have no enemy than far better but if you have than try forgiving him or her from bottom of your heart. I agree this is not small thing but assume it small and let it happen.This will make you stress free to a great extent.

3. Network is net worth, realize it in time: Right kind of networking at right age make your life tremendous success. We can not do all things on our own. We can not get everything done by paying some money. Human life can not avoid being social.Those who remain aloof must reconsider and open the doors of happiness by establishing and maintaining proper networking. One can start this with contacting at least a friend per day. Make your presence wherever you feel its worth. These small gestures can unleash your potential eventually.

4. Help someone for nothing in return: It is not necessary that we expect something in return all the time. Helping someone for no reason can really make you feel happy. Small favors to someone who is stuck up, may make our life graceful and blessed too.
  
5. Ask your elders if any support they need from you: elders generally do not ask for help or support unless they feel very comfortable with someone. Take this as an opportunity and lend a helping hand without waiting for their request. It is equally true within family or outside family.

6. Spare few minutes for you alone: Talk at least once to yourself daily. Those who don't talk to themselves remain empty for long and need outside support constantly. Our own soul is full of unlimited power but we have to search it by communication.
  
7. Plant a tree at least if you can: Ask the quantum of pleasure to a person who planted a tree and saw it grown up. It is very positive thing we can give to our earth.

8. Teach what you can but for free to someone who really need it: There are plenty of people who may need different kind of guidance. If one has skill and experience, he should share it so more and more people will benefit from it

These are some small things we can follow and make our life more balanced.

How To Stay Happy

When somebody asked me "How to stay happy" I took risk to reply such question which is generally asked to some Saint or spiritual leader, I explained it as under:

Whole human life is chasing something , getting something, having something or maintaining something. The person was not satisfied and he insisted to explain it further and I had to elaborate my reply and the question and concept implied in it both were manifest.

In this world we are mostly busy in four type of activities:

1. To make or get money and wealth,
2. To have name, fame and be influential.
3. To love and get loved
4. To keep up all the above three in favor on sustained basis.

We can notice well that almost everybody is busy with the above four kind of activities. Level of busyness might be the different person to person depending upon his or her priorities. Now coming on the question "How to be Happy", the point here is that if we are in these four activities only than our happiness would be limited to our needs. In other words, if my need of wealth is acute than it would give happiness to the extent the money and wealth I can consume, the moment the need gets satisfied, happiness will start finding new definition in another activities and it will shift its focus to other activities and this shifting becomes a habit. In this process the real happiness is never finding its value and due importance too. So what to do ? simple answer is that if we can spare part of our time for any such activity which does not fall in these four activities than happiness starts coming in.

To make it simple, such as if someone draws a picture , sing a song, plays piano, walks in a garden, looks at beautiful stars in night, observes sunrise, listen music, meditates, prays, forgives, studies positive thoughts, involves in good sports, supporting others and so on. All these should not have any motive which if eventually leads to the four activities than happiness would be artificial and not the real. In simple words if we start involving in any such activities which is not categorized as part of the four mentioned above than most probably there would be happiness and balance in life too. Those who practices it well, would know it better.      

Simplicity forgotten

Just think and find honest answers of these questions :

How many friends we have with whom we can really share our feelings ?
With the advancing age numbers of our friends are increasing or decreasing?
Do people feel that we are out of reach for them to meet or say something?
Do we too feel lonely all the time?

 If the answers are affirmative of these questions than we must be sure about the fact that we have lost our simplicity and due to this suffering to a lot.

A child remains happy because he is unaware of complexity of life but a man or woman remains happy "sometimes". Why sometime, why not most of the time? Things are made complicated by ourselves only. We walk but think of dress code, or even the type of shoes we should wear. We wish to move around but think often what type of company we should have. We wish to sing a song but afraid of what people will comment and so on. In reality nobody is much concerned about anyone but our fear makes everything much complicated and we get compelled to live lonely.

Be simple, smiling and the real one and it helps lot in maintaining good relationship too. If anyone close to us feels that we are unapproachable than it is not good sign for a nice relationship.

We have seen many times people plan a lot for a picnic but as soon as they reach to the spot their mind starts focusing only on how and when to move back and they simply forget to feel the place howsoever nice it is. In the garden they can't enjoy the blooming roses, even can't see the sky which is colorful at morning and full of stars in the night. They simply ignore to see the beauty of dew dropped on a flower. They simply forget to take a single deep breath in the fresh air and so on.

Simplicity does not mean we should not have ambition. Individual destiny may be different but living a simple life can be gift to ourselves and a big fun for those who really makes it. Simplicity expands our inner space so we can feel more, observe more. We may compare this with a computer wherein if multiple programs run it becomes slow or sometime hangs too. So be simple and enjoy the life.

-- CA Ashok Madrecha

Cultivate a hobby

When life seems to be at standstill hobby can be an answer. Most of us have some hobbies but we don't pay much attention to them due to many constraints. Truly speaking hobby is like communicating with one self and if cultivated properly it provides valuable meaning to life.

One can choose a hobby or hobbies as per his or her wishes. We find people enjoying with painting, writing, playing some games, walking, gardening, speaking, advising, counselling, singing, traveling, meditating and so on. When we do something as per our choice, it makes us like talking to ourselves and we start expressing in true senses which bring out stagnancy set in our life. Now we must see one important fact that while choosing hobby ensure that whether it is really communication with oneself or it is just killing our time. For instance watching a television series is not a hobby it can be fun. I feel we should not classify such things in the hobby though one can find these very essential for him.

My point is that hobby should increase your inner pleasure and satisfaction level as you advance in devoting into it. There are many people around the world whose hobby took them to height and they converted it in their profession with great success too. In most of the cases people surrender and compromise with their hobbies and eventually they loose charm in life. Once charm and inspiration lost, it becomes difficult to come out of negativity which haunts on a sustained basis and this makes us compelled to think about our hobbies which enables us to talk with our own soul really.

आलंबन (Dependence)

असुरक्षा की भावनाओ से ओत प्रोत हम हर वक्त आलंबन की तलाश करते रहते हें। क्यों स्वयं की क्षमता पर हम भरोसा नहीं करते ? हमेशा हम जाने अनजाने किसी ओर के सहारे से सब ठीक होगा ऐसा क्यों सोचने लग जाते हे ?
अन्दर का डर या आलसीपन या फिर सब यही कर रहे हे इसलिए मुझे भी ऐसा करना चाहिए। यदि हम विश्लेषण करे तो आश्चर्य होगा की कमोबेश हर व्यक्ति किसी अन्य व्यक्ति, स्थान या परिस्तिथि विशेष पर आश्रित सी जिंदगी जीता हे। यदि इसे अव्यक्त गुलामी भी कहा जाय तो कोई अतिशयोक्ति नहीं होगी। दूर द्रष्टी का नहीं होना इसका एक लक्षण अथवा कारण दोनों हो सकते हे।
हमारा स्वभाव स्वतंत्र हे परन्तु हम उसके सही स्वरुप को पुरी तरह नहीं पहचानते। जरा सा हिचकोला हमारे विश्वास को जड़ तक हिला देता हे।
ऐसा क्यों होता हे ? जन्म से अब तक हम सभी का परिवेश ही एसा हे कि हम सोचते भी उसी अनुरूप हे जेसे सब कुछ बाहर से ही संचालित होता हे भीतर की यात्रा के लिए तनिक भी तैयार नहीं हे।
सामान्य से सामान्य विषयों में हम धर्म, बाहरी शक्तियों ,कोई व्यक्ति विशेष, अथवा अन्य प्रतिको से अपेक्षा रखते हुए अपने निजी कार्यो का संपादन करा लेने की अपेक्षा रखते हे ओर अपेक्षित परिणाम नहीं मिलने पर इन माध्यमो को जाने अनजाने कोसने लग जाते हे और अपने प्रयत्नों पर जोर देना लगभग छोड़ देते हे।
हर वक़्त अवलंबन (Dependence) की मनोस्थिति के कारण जीवन को हम अच्छे से जी नहीं पाते।  उदाहरण के लिए उत्सव आनंद देने के बजाय तनाव देते हे। स्वतंत्रता की पहचान आनंद में व्यक्त हो तो ही हम कह सकते हे कि हमारे प्रयत्न सही दिशा में हे।

प्यार का संदेश (Message of Love )

हर रंग की चमक में बसते हो
कोई से भी गम में हँसते हो।
ये दिलेरी हे या अदाकारी
प्रेरित हो या , खुद की समझदारी।
बख़ूबी सब कुछ छुपाते हो
बस सिर्फ मुस्कराते हो।
मासूम चेहरा, इरादों से बुलंद हो
बोलते कम , बड़े स्वछंद हो।
हर पल ख्याल तेरा ही क्यों आता हे
क्या नाम दू इसे , जाने कौनसा नाता हे।
गीतों के गुंजन से भरा तेरे लबो का अहसास
समझ भी लेते मन की बात , तुम काश।
अब दूर नहीं रहना हे
मुझे कुछ कहना हे।
ये पैगाम पढ़कर रुक मत जाना
देर हुई पहले ही , अब मत सताना।
 ये हे प्यार का फ़साना , अब क्या जताना
मेरे मीत जल्दी आना , बस जल्दी आना।
------------ Ashok Madrecha

You Knew It ... Still...

 

1. We can not make everyone happy at a time :To become decisive,we must accept the fact that everyone wont be happy by your actions and we should be ready for that. Your boss may be happy but your subordinates may not, your parents would be happy but spouse may not .

2. Changes are inevitable : to lead a balanced life we should be well aware of that everything changes except the change itself.  I agree , you have read it many times , you know it but while behaving with one or more we forget it and put ourselves in trouble repeatedly. We take something so seriously as if without it sky would fall and our actions start finding wrong directions.

3. Be pragmatic, not dogmatic. : world over most of the successful people's history shows that they were pragmatic and this led them to more acceptance and thereby more success too. Here one should differentiate flexibility and compromise well as per time and situation. Being practical in our approach is very useful in business too.

4. More we are selfish, more unhappiness. :simple rule to happiness is to remain selfless and unattached as much possible as we can. Tonnes of research paper one may find on attaining happiness, I would like to summarize and state that living for self only is not life one should always strive to be good and useful to others too and this will first big step to happiness.  

5. Understand well what governs our life , money, name or something else : if we can understand what really we need at particular stage of life then our efforts would not make us tired early. I would like to mention here that it is better to allow qualities to govern your life instead of a particular person.

6. Measure your freedom from time to time : everyone likes freedom. may be it is financial, social or else. As life advances we should have clarity about it. are we serious about it or just passing time. freedom itself is a big source of happiness.

7. Relate every decision with the time factor: deciding something requires input of time factor. Every decision has to be taken after considering time factor. for example, Mr. John is curious about investing in good home at his native place which is very far from his working place. He thinks he would be staying there for 10 days in a year. This decision should be taken in light of the time factor. What is the age of Mr. John, How healthy he is to commute ?
whether he would be able to maintain the house without going there. This is mere an example to take right decision.

8. If health is wealth then why one should ignore it: commonly it is said that health is wealth but in our routine life we commonly ignore it too. Paying attention and sparing adequate time for health is must and there is no other option to this. adequate exercise, meditation, proper diet pattern has to be followed religiously.

9. Relationship is not just planting a tree , it requires water regularly: all relations are like plants and these requires water at regular intervals. Mostly we find that initially lot of enthusiasm is shown in any new relationship and after sometime maintaining it takes back seat resulting into break ups. Wise   people understands it and keep their relationship live and vibrant.

10. Confusion creates cowards so be sure about yourself: in my seminar, many time I find people are suffering just because they are confused.I suggest here we should always break questions and try to resolve them. Our approach of getting all answers at a time makes confusion more strong. a separate write up on confusion is written on this blog in article section.
    
11. Destiny , religion may be good to understand but taking efforts in right direction is must to achieve something: considerable part of time is spent on discussing what is destiny , where is god, What is religion etc. I would put it this way being spiritual is good but different than what is discussed academically. As an individual our thought process and actions should be focused on what is to be achieved specifically.
 
12. Accept good and bad both: We are happy if we are comfortable. This is human nature that we accept goodness, comfort, love, favor, service, different kind of gadgets but we don't like discomforts , orders, hate, etc. Point here is that everything carries good and bad elements both. If a person loves someone and hates his or her voice , can this work for long ? We have to accept bad and good both simultaneously more particularly in relationship.
     
13. If you don't have good relation with your neighbors, relatives, friends, family members simultaneously then introspect in deep: If you are facing such situation then something is wrong within you and it requires introspection. Just have a second thought about yourself and see what can be changed at your end first.

14. Never say anyone that you are wrong instead make them feel they are wrong if required. But this should not be the aim of life as it consumes lot of energy. Giving space is better than proving someone wrong.

15. Respect and love can not be attained by demanding : it is funny when we come across people seeking respect and love just by demanding. These people are desperate and feel like this is their right and all this leads them to no where.  life is an art of living where love blossoms and respect too showers on deserving and this can not be attained by demanding.

16. Take small steps first before you leap: any mission or goal can be accomplished on sound footing and for that one need to take small steps first. Any plan, team, resources and networking etc. requires grip on minute details hence taking leap is always advised after some small crucial steps.

17. Develop niche in some areas of your choice to make yourself valuable: Many people come with complaints of being not valued, not paid adequately in their job or else. I simply ask them do they update their knowledge  ? Do they have niche in some area where they can become unique or outstanding? if not then strive for this and these complaints will go away.  

18. Peace is the answer not the enmity: never say anybody enemy. Hostility destroys peace and without peace progress can not be achieved. Even due to some event or otherwise somebody is hostile try to overcome such hostility. Some liberal postures and actions can change whole life. I know well many diplomats would not agree to me.

19. Be Simple : living in your true being is relaxing so be simple. Complex life is very stressful. Even if you are wealthy, top achiever in any field , be polite , smiling .... may be you are a great leader of near future !  
   
20. Even after following all the above if you feel things are not as per your expectation , take pause, relax, life teaches you for better role and of course time too changes so don't worry at all, have courage .

Life may seems to be  battles
there are roses and patels
both are there cold and heat
heart is soft keep clean and neat
you may be fathers or mothers too
be happy and keep happy others too..

This article is written after deep study on many cases from different perspective. I wish every word of this write up will be useful not only to an individual but to organizations, societies, or even countries too. I personally dedicate this write up to entire humanity and those counselors who are putting serious efforts to bring happiness in others life selflessly. I appeal all my readers to share this article for spreading knowledge about living life in harmony .... thanks.. 

                                                                                   Ashok Madrecha 

Arrangements to enjoyment

From our childhood to old age we are constantly arranging something or another with an objective to make life more comfortable or enjoyable.Irony of this situation is that in the process of arrangement we lose our balance in life and the stage of enjoyment is always postponed repeatedly rendering us to live in humiliating and uncertain situation for prolonged time.

Initially everybody tries to be secure and earning is essential part of journey for creation of wealth but at certain stage many people whose living hood is secured get crazy for respect and recognition which they wish to buy but respect can not be bought and this lead them to follow unfair means. They spend money and time too to attain respect of the society but instead of respect they create some sort of commercial brand value which again may be useful for their business but recognition of hearts requires giving something without any expectation and very few person can dare to this. Most people having such hunger for recognition try every way to get noticed which in reality is sheer falsehood.funny part of this process is that more they are     

noticed more they are found to be running after it. On one hand they feel proud,on other hand they become slave of either some individual, thing, or some specific situation which essentially changes with passage of time not necessarily up to or with their expectations. The journey of arranging recognition originally sounded well suddenly puts them to no where and such people starts feeling vacuum and fair amount of distraction. Stunning fact of this aspect of life is more true about most learned, educated and people who are well to do. Such people always look after real friends but rarely it happens as they are sitting on heap of ego which prevents them to come down and share their real inner self with any one. These people then feel stuck up in

one way traffic with only option to move ahead with same mistake of only arranging and not managing.People known to them have mercy on them but they are even unable to feel all this. So what can be the lesson ? Can't we say while arranging, We should also keep managing and enjoy life bestowed upon us.

Thanks
Ashok Madrecha

Short Story on Gratitude (कृतज्ञता )

Human being is always in mode of expecting something and this compels one to know everything about gratitude and its importance in achieving balance in life.

Let us go through a short story of three friends. There were three friends knowing each other since long time. Name of the friends are Mr. Confused, second Mr. Sure and third Mr. Rich. Interestingly while Mr. Confused was good at study, innovative and hardworking too, Mr. Sure was good at study, practical and highly trustworthy person in the eyes of people in their circle and Mr. Rich was business minded, simple, calculative and a wealthy person.

Mr. Confused though hardworking could not succeed in his carrier. Mr. Sure was successful in his carrier and also had high regard among his friends, client and society as well. Mr. Rich was quiet successful in building wealth but due to his over occupied scheduled life, he was not having much circle of friends etc.

After many year of struggling Mr. Confused who was hardworking succeed in developing some technology which was to be used in the field of biotechnology industry and with this he started giving presentation to different person in the field for some tie-up or professional income. After long time of efforts, nothing was materialised and one fine day Mr. Confused told this to his friend Mr. Sure and asked if he can do something for him. Mr. Sure studied and asked Mr. Confused, see though your technique may be good and new, it has to be tested so I will ask someone to invest in a pilot project and see what can be achieved and if at all there is a profit, you may distribute among you and the investor. Mr. Confused asked to keep some share but Mr. Sure being liberal told as your need is acute at present so you carry on with your profits if any.

Mr. Sure called his friend Mr. Rich and briefed about the project of Mr. Confused. After deliberating on it Mr. Rich told Mr. Sure, see as such I have enough wealth but on your words I can put some money and see how the equation works without any risk on part of Mr. Sure.

So Mr. Sure arranged all meetings to finalise the deal and the pilot project started working. After a period of 12 months all the accounts were drawn, finalised and there was a good amount of profit too.

All three friends assembled and in presence of Mr. Sure, both Mr. Confused and Mr. Rich distributed the whole profit and they were looking happy while taking the money at their home.

Now I ask what would be the state of mind of Mr. Sure while both his friends were distributing the profit. Though he already declined sharing of profit earlier can a human being would not think like……. Had I decided to share the profit I would have been in a better position now.

After some time Mr. Confused called Mr. Rich to invest more and Mr. Rich in turn called Mr. Sure about this and told again I can invest more on the project but only on you words.

Now crux of the story comes. Will Mr. Sure pay attention to these calls from Mr. Rich or Mr. Confused? Naturally he replied to Mr. Rich this is you to decide about further investment, I am not sure about it. Consequently Mr. Rich came out of the venture and Mr. Confused became really confused and thought... Even after profit things did not turn to his side.

Friend, here comes the real importance of gratitude. In the above story both Mr. Rich and Mr. Confused never expressed their gratitude of Mr. Sure who was the key to the whole deal. They simply took their part of money and thus never realised that all happed because of the very role Mr. Sure played for both of them. Mr. Sure was liberal while declining share of profit but Mr. Confused and Mr. Rich jointly could share something voluntarily and offer a respect to Mr. Sure but lack of gratitude led them to breakup of the whole deal where the profit in future could be much more.

Every time we ask for favour, but we forget to thank. Thanks may be given by words or in kind like proper gifts at proper time and so on. One should not be thankless to anybody who has helped or supported to him and if we follow this we can say yes this is gratitude, not attitude.

----- Ashok Madrecha 

खुशी के फूल

 

प्रसन्नता के प्राप्त होने  इन्तजार
हर कोई , हर पल इतना बेकरार
सिर्फ औरो को दोष देने का सिलसिला
इसीलिए खुशी का फूल न खिला ………।
मुक्त होने का मन पर बांधते रहे हरदम
अवरुद्ध क्यों हुए चलते चलते ये कदम
उठती हुई टीस का कारण भी तो होगा
सच्ची क्षमा से इस पीड़ा का निवारण भी होगा ………।
घनगोर घटाए गिर आयी , फैलने लगा अँधेरा
चमकी हे बिजलियाँ वहीं , हुआ फिर सवेरा
फैलने दो आकाश तक प्रार्थना के प्रकाश को
जी लो जीवन जी भर के , जाने मत दो मधुमास को………।
भ्रम को जगह मत देना , झूठ को सतह मत देना
नीति के धर्मयुद्ध में , अनीति को फतह मत देना
अहसास मनुष्यता का रखकर जीने का मजा कुछ और हे
शकून देकर किसी को अमृत पीने का मजा कुछ और हे ………।
पल प्रतिपल हम भावों का संसार खड़ा कर देते हे
सम्भले न सम्भलता इतना व्यापार बड़ा कर देते है
वक़्त विश्राम लेने की सलाह देता हे सरेआम
हम  व्यस्त हे , बहुत जरुरी हे हमारे काम ………।
खुद से संवाद भी नहीं कर पाते  पूरी जिंदगी
अब निश्चय स्वयं कर लो ये पूरी हे या अधूरी जिंदगी ………।

How To Be Successful

Intensify your efforts
Be focused
Avoid Unrelated Work
Arrange your Priorities
Put Your Energy in Right Direction
Build Network
Use Resources more efficiently
Develop Leadership Qualities
Spare Time to Introspect
Never Give up
Keep Your Morale High
Value your Instincts
Take Initiative
Innovate to Accomplish your tasks fast
Be Sound and have Niche
Win Hearts
Update Your Knowledge
Hone your Skills
And Most Important, BE POSITIVE..