Showing posts with label Philosophy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Philosophy. Show all posts

Me and We of Relationship



Relationship in life is common but but its longevity is little uncommon. We have so many relationships like husband and wife, man and women, brother and sister, son and father, mother and daughter, sister and sister, brother and brother, pupil and teacher and the list goes on. We build our relationship either by birth, by our contacts or may be due to some other reasons.

Most of us would agree on this truth that a good relationship makes a person happy and a strained relationship causes tension in life. This truth emphasizes the need to understand why a relationship breaks or get strained.

You would be surprised in many cases of couples coming to me for consulting before buying a house their first sentence was like " Sir We wish to buy a good house and plan accordingly, please suggest us. This We and Us are very nice words to bond them and this leads them to success in planning a good house too. let us go further, after some time many of these couples are now changing from this We and Us to Me and mine like words which are the root of serious damage to any kind of relationship. Later on I hear such words from them Sir, its me who bought the house and the other one says its me who manages the home now point here is that We is lost and Me has taken place of We. If anyone in a relationship changes priority which has bearing on others then be careful and see whether we are on verge of adopting this Me instead of We. Please count how many time you are using words like Me, Mine, and compare this count again after some days and see are you readying for a break up ? If you are sure that use of such words are higher then cautiously shift to We and Ours. This will make lot of difference. Journey of life would demand some changes in attitude and everyone should take note of this. behaving like I am always right is a myth and we should try to break this and not these precious relationships which are bestowed upon us. 
Read more

सच्चाई


ख़ुशी की खोज बाहर करना
फिर पुरानी गलती दोहराना
सुख शांति के दो पल पाने की
अभिलाषा बस कुछ कर जाने की
कोशिश करना व्यर्थ नहीं होता
प्रयत्नों से कौन समर्थ नहीं होता
ले नहीं पाते जिंदगी उतना देती हे
ज़माने का दोष नहीं, कर्मो की खेती हे
कई बार साफ़ दिखता भी हे
पर समझ कम पड़ जाती हे
दिग्भ्रमित से मंजिलो की तलाश में
कुछ मिलेगा हर वक़्त इसी आस में
स्वयं की व्यवस्था में लगे दिन रात
झूठ के सहारे करते रहे हर बात।
जब सच्चाई सामने प्रकट होगी
स्थिति स्वयं बड़ी विकट होगी
दर्पण से सामना नहीं कर पाओगे
अपना चेहरा खुद ही छुपाओगे
समय को कौन रोक पाता हे
ये तो बस बीतता जाता हे
ये तो बस बीतता जाता हे.…।
Read more

Status or Stress ?


Journey of life comprises of so many achievements, wealth, respect, recognition, image, brand, skill, and so on. Collectively all this makes a person different and it creates status . As a human being we try to keep it up and up. We should ask ourselves at what level we are comfortable with this status or I would say it so called status in other way. The reality of life is that if we under unknown pressure try to keep on maintaining this status, it creates stress, so ideally it should be spontaneous and not an obligation on constant basis just to show off and impress others by engaging our positive energy.
Other side effects of  "So called Status" which I personally observed are:

1) Jump in level of attitude instead of gratitude
2) Lesser communication with friends and close relatives
3) Feeling loneliness even after crossing many milestones in life
4) absence of humour and increase of monotony
5) Constant irritation with self or others
6) Living artificial life
7) Chasing unwanted objects for more status
8) Developing health hazards

The list above is just illustrative, you can add more and more points at your end. Point to be noted is that achieving something in life is not wrong in itself  what we miss is we put ourselves in chasing something which is not that much required primarily though it may be necessary . We must draw a line in between the both to make life more easy, balanced,simple, and enjoyable.
Read more

Crowd puller or crowd follower

 
Why we live our life unsatisfied most of the time. If observed carefully, you will notice that we are either crowd follower or crowd puller. In both situation we remain part of crowd and try to justify ourselves that this is right and this is wrong. Crowd in its own has no brain still it behaves but unpredictably. What if a person too starts behaving in manner like crowd ? Peace would go away and fun of life too. He would always think what others would think if I do this or not do. Is this right way of doing or not according to crowd around him ?

How to remain part of crowd but behave independently and prudentially is what one should seek.Generally leaders are crowd pullers and public is followers but balancing life demands enough maturity to achieve independence constantly.

Let's go further .. Since our childhood we are moulded to think always in default mode like what is hot and cold, love and hate, up and down, good and bad, elder or younger, big or small, black or white, yes or no and it goes on.. This is what I would say crowd mentality . there are number of opposite combinations but you can't predict what odd combination would be picked up by the crowd. So we have to be independent to think and act accordingly then only we can say our journey towards balancing life is going on.
Read more

You Knew It ... Still...

 



1. We can not make everyone happy at a time :To become decisive,we must accept the fact that everyone wont be happy by your actions and we should be ready for that. Your boss may be happy but your subordinates may not, your parents would be happy but spouse may not .

2. Changes are inevitable : to lead a balanced life we should be well aware of that everything changes except the change itself.  I agree , you have read it many times , you know it but while behaving with one or more we forget it and put ourselves in trouble repeatedly. We take something so seriously as if without it sky would fall and our actions start finding wrong directions.


3. Be pragmatic, not dogmatic. : world over most of the successful people's history shows that they were pragmatic and this led them to more acceptance and thereby more success too. Here one should differentiate flexibility and compromise well as per time and situation. Being practical in our approach is very useful in business too.





4. More we are selfish, more unhappiness. :simple rule to happiness is to remain selfless and unattached as much possible as we can. Tonnes of research paper one may find on attaining happiness, I would like to summarize and state that living for self only is not life one should always strive to be good and useful to others too and this will first big step to happiness.  

5. Understand well what governs our life , money, name or something else : if we can understand what really we need at particular stage of life then our efforts would not make us tired early. I would like to mention here that it is better to allow qualities to govern your life instead of a particular person.


6. Measure your freedom from time to time : everyone likes freedom. may be it is financial, social or else. As life advances we should have clarity about it. are we serious about it or just passing time. freedom itself is a big source of happiness.


7. Relate every decision with the time factor: deciding something requires input of time factor. Every decision has to be taken after considering time factor. for example, Mr. John is curious about investing in good home at his native place which is very far from his working place. He thinks he would be staying there for 10 days in a year. This decision should be taken in light of the time factor. What is the age of Mr. John, How healthy he is to commute ?
whether he would be able to maintain the house without going there. This is mere an example to take right decision.

8. If health is wealth then why one should ignore it: commonly it is said that health is wealth but in our routine life we
commonly ignore it too. Paying attention and sparing adequate time for health is must and there is no other option to this. adequate exercise, meditation, proper diet pattern has to be followed religiously.

9. Relationship is not just planting a tree , it requires water regularly: all relations are like plants and these requires water at regular intervals. Mostly we find that initially lot of enthusiasm is shown in any new relationship and after sometime maintaining it takes back seat resulting into break ups. Wise   people understands it and keep their relationship live and vibrant.




10. Confusion creates cowards so be sure about yourself: in my seminar, many time I find people are suffering just because they are confused.I suggest here we should always break questions and try to resolve them. Our approach of getting all answers at a time makes confusion more strong. a separate write up on confusion is written on this blog in article section.

    
11. Destiny , religion may be good to understand but taking efforts in right direction is must to achieve something: considerable part of time is spent on discussing what is destiny , where is god, What is religion etc. I would put it this way being spiritual is good but different than what is discussed academically. As an individual our thought process and actions should be focused on what is to be achieved specifically.

 
12. Accept good and bad both: We are happy if we are comfortable. This is human nature that we accept goodness, comfort, love, favor, service, different kind of gadgets but we don't like discomforts , orders, hate, etc. Point here is that everything carries good and bad elements both. If a person loves someone and hates his or her voice , can this work for long ? We have to accept bad and good both simultaneously more particularly in relationship.

     
13. If you don't have good relation with your neighbors, relatives, friends, family members simultaneously then introspect in deep: If you are facing such situation then something is wrong within you and it requires introspection. Just have a second thought about yourself and see what can be changed at your end first.


14. Never say anyone that you are wrong instead make them feel they are wrong if required. But this should not be the aim of life as it consumes lot of energy. Giving space is better than proving someone wrong.


15. Respect and love can not be attained by demanding : it is funny when we come across people seeking respect and love just by demanding. These people are desperate and feel like this is their right and all this leads them to no where.  life is an art of living where love blossoms and respect too showers on deserving and this can not be attained by demanding.


16. Take small steps first before you leap: any mission or goal can be accomplished on sound footing and for that one need to take small steps first. Any plan, team, resources and networking etc. requires grip on minute details hence taking leap is always advised after some small crucial steps.


17. Develop niche in some areas of your choice to make yourself valuable: Many people come with complaints of being not valued, not paid adequately in their job or else. I simply ask them do they update their knowledge  ? Do they have niche in some area where they can become unique or outstanding? if not then strive for this and these complaints will go away.  


18. Peace is the answer not the enmity: never say anybody enemy. Hostility destroys peace and without peace progress can not be achieved. Even due to some event or otherwise somebody is hostile try to overcome such hostility. Some liberal postures and actions can change whole life. I know well many diplomats would not agree to me.


19. Be Simple : living in your true being is relaxing so be simple. Complex life is very stressful. Even if you are wealthy, top achiever in any field , be polite , smiling .... may be you are a great leader of near future !  
   
20. Even after following all the above if you feel things are not as per your expectation , take pause, relax, life teaches you for better role and of course time too changes so don't worry at all, have courage .

Life may seems to be  battles
there are roses and patels
both are there cold and heat
heart is soft keep clean and neat
you may be fathers or mothers too
be happy and keep happy others too..


This article is written after deep study on many cases from different perspective. I wish every word of this write up will be useful not only to an individual but to organizations, societies, or even countries too. I personally dedicate this write up to entire humanity and those counselors who are putting serious efforts to bring happiness in others life selflessly. I appeal all my readers to share this article for spreading knowledge about living life in harmony .... thanks.. 
                                                                                   Ashok Madrecha 
Read more

Arrangements to enjoyment


From our childhood to old age we are constantly arranging something or another with an objective to make life more comfortable or enjoyable.Irony of this situation is that in the process of arrangement we lose our balance in life and the stage of enjoyment is always postponed repeatedly rendering us to live in humiliating and uncertain situation for prolonged time.
Initially everybody tries to be secure and earning is essential part of journey for creation of wealth but at certain stage many people whose living hood is secured get crazy for respect and recognition which they wish to buy but respect can not be bought and this lead them to follow unfair means. They spend money and time too to attain respect of the society but instead of respect they create some sort of commercial brand value which again may be useful for their business but recognition of hearts requires giving something without any expectation and very few person can dare to this. Most people having such hunger for recognition try every way to get noticed which in reality is sheer falsehood.funny part of this process is that more they are     
noticed more they are found to be running after it. On one hand they feel proud,on other hand they become slave of either some individual, thing, or some specific situation which essentially changes with passage of time not necessarily up to or with their expectations. The journey of arranging recognition originally sounded well suddenly puts them to no where and such people starts feeling vacuum and fair amount of distraction. Stunning fact of this aspect of life is more true about most learned, educated and people who are well to do. Such people always look after real friends but rarely it happens as they are sitting on heap of ego which prevents them to come down and share their real inner self with any one. These people then feel stuck up in
one way traffic with only option to move ahead with same mistake of only arranging and not managing.People known to them have mercy on them but they are even unable to feel all this. So what can be the lesson ? Can't we say while arranging, We should also keep managing and enjoy life bestowed upon us.
Thanks
Ashok Madrecha
Read more

हृदय से संवाद (Communication of the Heart)

आकाश और जमीन मिलते नहीं फिर भी क्षितिज के अस्तित्व को माना जाता है।  दिल की अतुल गहराईयों में होती अविराम हलचल भला किसको बेचैन नहीं करती , परन्तु यह सब सत्य का अहसास देता हे। मंजिल का मिलना तो शायद सबको ख़ुशी देता होगा , इन्तजार में भी खुश होना सीखना चाहिए।  समाधान सभी को नसीब नहीं होता है , यहाँ तो बस चलना होता हे , अविराम , निरंतर …।


-------------------------------------------------------------------------

इंसान की विडम्बनाएं उसे सोचने की सही शक्ति नहीं दे पाती और वो कुछ भी पाने की कामनाये करता है।  दुखी होता है , जलता हे और यदि वह कुछ पाकर भी अचानक ऐसा लगने लगता हे जैसे यह सब तो उसने चाह कर गलती कर दी , समय नष्ट किया। बस यही पर समझने की जरुरत हे की हमारे लक्ष्य कही लघु तो नहीं ? नहीं तो अपनी ऊर्जा का व्यर्थ होना निश्चित हे और अपने अस्तित्व की सार्थकता प्राप्त होना तो दूर उसे महसूस करना भी मुश्किल हो जायेगा।
 ---- अशोक मादरेचा
All these are thoughts and communication with oneself to explore and set balance in our life.....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Read more

Keep Your Relevance

Keep Your Relevance


Mr. Albert is working in a company as an office administrator since last 20 years. he is happy about his salary and perks but since last 5 years  he feels like he is ignored by fellow members of staff and sometime by the management too. What can be the reason ?
Mrs. Kelvin  is mother of two child. She was very happy till both the child grew up to the age of 15. Now she feels that she is lacking somewhere and in the family she is having less weight-age as it was existing earlier. What can be the reason?
Both the above  instances mentioned here may be mere examples but this is hard truth that over aperiod of time we loose relevance in our very role , may be it as a working person, parent, friend,or else one can imagine well.
Now question arises, How to keep our relevance and remain in mainstream of life as a whole? In short answer may be like,Remain updated with changes and keep pace with time. If not possible, change yourself for different role and priorities as well.
Time, things,expectations will always change and most of the time our mindset does not accept it and in process we are left out or kept out to make path for others. We must always keep willing to learn to the extent possible and this will make us less vulnerable to become irrelevant.
Relevance brings importance and irrelevance shows us the door of exit in every sphere of life, be it carrier, leadership of all kind or even family life.
Symptoms of Irrelevance : 
* People start neglecting you.
* Your advice is not sought for.
* Your orders are not obeyed.
* Your respect is lowered.
* You are invited less than earlier for key meetings etc.
Some important points may be kept in mind while handling irrelevance ....

Precautions to Manage Irrelevance:
1. Keep your health sound.
2. Hone your skill sharply.
3. Be with Time.
4. Adopt changes.
5. Keep your network strong.
6. Develop niche in your area  of working.
7. Build your finance strong enough to secure you completely.
8. Always review your ambitions, dreams after certain intervals of time and in light of your age specially.
9. Change your direction after assuring that you are short of your resources even after applying all the above
10. Last but not least , mind well , just to keep your relevance you should not get that much stressed.I mean
      remain cool and yes of course Be Positive.  
 My Best Wishes ....
Ashok Madrecha
Read more