Showing posts with label manage relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label manage relationship. Show all posts

Start Living Life in Your Own Way




The great gap of our efforts and the yield creates a lot of dissatisfaction. Whenever I asked about life in my conferences, I noticed some common things prevailing such as lack of clarity, and everybody was more concerned about others. The funny part was that those who thought they are more committed to family, relatives, friends etc, they were more unhappy lot. In fact these people were in impression that they are doing a lot for family etc. but in turn they were emotionally bound and became more expecting from others but the Others were in comfortable zone and not thinking of the contribution made by their family members etc. One has to strike right kind of balance between self-development and helping others. 

We have to understand more about efforts, attachment and expectations. Being human, we take part in something, we stick to it without reason sometime, we start expecting returns, we behave like having sole onus of changing others. These are the set rules which govern our life. If we refresh our complete thought process and learn to accept changes and understand situations, joy of life will unleash forever. 

While taking more interest in others' life we completely forget about our own creativity. Everyone of us is unique and own some skill or art which is special but we hardly find enough time to nurture it as we are very busy studying others affairs. Living life in own way is awesome. When we shift our attention from others to ourselves we start knowing self and suddenly direction of life becomes reality. Some tips in nutshell:

6. If really decided, avoid procrastination and enjoy living life in your own way.

Read more

Art of refusal



In general while maintaining our decency level of behavior we develop a tendency to accept everything which even we do not like to do and forget the concept of refusing. If refusing is not kept in mind we will land up at total mess at work or even in our social relations too. lets have a look at one example:

A professional lawyer having enough level of practice never said no to any assignment coming to him. The resulting scenario of his office is:
1. The boss is always busy
2. The employees too seem to be busy but reporting and execution level quite a week
3. Professional fee billing is increasing but net bottom-line almost stagnant
4. Office environment quite stressful
5. Always staff and boss both working beyond office hours  
5. Total system almost in a mess and so on.

Social side of the same Lawyer above:

Being in profession for a long time he has developed social and personal relations with the clients well but due to his ignorance about the art of refusal the scenario of his personal life is:
1. Can not spare enough time for family.
2. Shrewd people make use of him.
3. There seems to be no planning in life as such.
4. Financial independence is good but level of satisfaction is very low.
5. Developing health hazards.
6. Total absence of fun, joy, peace and so on.    

We can visualize what can be the impact of ignoring the concept of refusal by the example. Now lets think on "How to Say No and Refuse"

First we have to develop firmness about ourselves, decide what we require and what not. What are our resources and at what cost of time, energy and monetary level we can afford to do a particular task in a given time frame. if not, We must refuse it and avoid such mess which makes our life hell. Time is precious and it is allotted to all in terms of age and that too in the limited slot then why we should neglect it. Now lets have a look at different ways to say "No"

1. Say directly No where we have no personal bindings or relationship.
2. Develop our system (office norms, policy of working etc.) to handle the refusal.
3. We can put the burden of refusal on lack of resources. I mean we can simply say no due to non availability of some resource hence we won't be able to accomplish a task or assignment.
4. Sometime task itself does not require perfection, then do only what is required. this too is a kind of  limited refusal.
5. Delegation of task at different levels, in other words creating layers makes us easy to say No. 

The lawyer knew all this well and decided to change himself. He listed all the areas where he was just taking the assignments which were not remunerated enough and could be avoided. He seriously applied the concept of refusal and what happened just see here:

1. His stress level came down considerably.
2. At the beginning his professional fee billing came down by 20% but after a few months it increased with the addition of more new good clients and his profitability (bottom line) also improved in a positive direction.
3. He was far more confident person than earlier
4. Clarity about life emerged and he started enjoying quality time with family and friends.
5. His health too improved.
6. Ultimately he is more rich and knew well that what is really meaningful to him.
     
I hope knowing the art of refusal can help anyone to have the right balance in life. This article is based on my practical experience of more than 25 years and many interactive seminars I have addressed so far. If you like it , please share it for a nice cause of helping others.
Ashok Madrecha
  
Read more

Are We Original ?



Imbalance in life has set so deep in our life that we are completely modified and living in an artificial state of mind. Our originality is lost and we have become totally a different person.

Let's test our originality and ask ourselves some questions :

1. Can we smile in real ?
2. Can we laugh freely ?
3. Do we feel close to our family ?
4. Can we really define our own happiness ?
5. Do we enjoy being with our friends ?
6. Are we afraid of something all the time ?
7. Have art and hobbies completely evaporated from our life ?
8. Feeling fed up ?

Such honest questioning will open our heart and pave way to do really meaningful in life. We are not taking adequate pauses while remaining in the race. This causes our inner system highly stressed and prone to failure. What for we are in the race ? We must ensure that whether it is just for the sake of showing off or it is really needed. We don't have time to read or discuss such things as we are not original now.

There may be varied reasons for loosing originality like attaining prosperity, meeting some accident, bad health, reaching a powerful position, the disloyalty of some closed friend or relative, break up in any relationship and the list goes on.

Most negative part of loosing originality is that those who lost it, they simply don't agree to this and continue to suffer for a prolonged time or forever sometime.

Mute question is how to remain original. There are symptoms we must observe and knowing these would make it easier to remain original.

We must observe and find answers to these questions :

Does our friend visit or contact us less as compared to earlier ?
Do we feel isolated in our society?
Do people respect us from the heart or just for some compulsion ?
If working, Are we sought after or avoided by subordinates ?

Such introspection may bring some real changes if we are honest with ourselves. In fact an original person only can enjoy life and every moment of it. Being original makes us stress free always as we are not pretending anything and close to nature and ultimately more meaning to our life too.
Read more

Me and We of Relationship



Relationship in life is common but but its longevity is little uncommon. We have so many relationships like husband and wife, man and women, brother and sister, son and father, mother and daughter, sister and sister, brother and brother, pupil and teacher and the list goes on. We build our relationship either by birth, by our contacts or may be due to some other reasons.

Most of us would agree on this truth that a good relationship makes a person happy and a strained relationship causes tension in life. This truth emphasizes the need to understand why a relationship breaks or get strained.

You would be surprised in many cases of couples coming to me for consulting before buying a house their first sentence was like " Sir We wish to buy a good house and plan accordingly, please suggest us. This We and Us are very nice words to bond them and this leads them to success in planning a good house too. let us go further, after some time many of these couples are now changing from this We and Us to Me and mine like words which are the root of serious damage to any kind of relationship. Later on I hear such words from them Sir, its me who bought the house and the other one says its me who manages the home now point here is that We is lost and Me has taken place of We. If anyone in a relationship changes priority which has bearing on others then be careful and see whether we are on verge of adopting this Me instead of We. Please count how many time you are using words like Me, Mine, and compare this count again after some days and see are you readying for a break up ? If you are sure that use of such words are higher then cautiously shift to We and Ours. This will make lot of difference. Journey of life would demand some changes in attitude and everyone should take note of this. behaving like I am always right is a myth and we should try to break this and not these precious relationships which are bestowed upon us. 
Read more