पिता का पुत्र को संदेश

मुखर कर उन्मेष को उत्कर्ष की तरफ
प्रयत्न कर उखाड़ दे हर मायूसी की बर्फ।

ये तूफान ही रास्ता बनाएँगे बस जान लेना
वक़्त रहते रास्तों का मिजाज पहचान लेना।

दूर है मधुमास अभी बहुत बीहड़ में चलना बाकी
उलफत में मत रहना ये शुरुआत की है झांकी।

दो दो हाथ मुश्किलों से होना बहुत आम होगा
इंसानों की दुनियाँ में ये वाकया सुबह शाम होगा।

लक्ष्य पे नजर रखना दिन में भी कदम बहकते है
जरा सम्भलना हर गली मोहल्लों में इंसान रहते है।

आकाश नापना है तो इरादों में जोश होना चाहिए
दूर कितनी है मंजिल इसका भी होश होना चाहिए।

तान लो सुनहरे वितान वक़्त तुम्हे इंद्रधनुषी रंग दे
नया सवेरा हर सुबह तुम्हे चिर आशा की उमंग दे।

----  अशोक मादरेचा

Art of refusal

In general while maintaining our decency level of behavior we develop a tendency to accept everything which even we do not like to do and forget the concept of refusing. If refusing is not kept in mind we will land up at total mess at work or even in our social relations too. lets have a look at one example:

A professional lawyer having enough level of practice never said no to any assignment coming to him. The resulting scenario of his office is:
1. The boss is always busy
2. The employees too seem to be busy but reporting and execution level quite a week
3. Professional fee billing is increasing but net bottom-line almost stagnant
4. Office environment quite stressful
5. Always staff and boss both working beyond office hours  
5. Total system almost in a mess and so on.

Social side of the same Lawyer above:

Being in profession for a long time he has developed social and personal relations with the clients well but due to his ignorance about the art of refusal the scenario of his personal life is:
1. Can not spare enough time for family.
2. Shrewd people make use of him.
3. There seems to be no planning in life as such.
4. Financial independence is good but level of satisfaction is very low.
5. Developing health hazards.
6. Total absence of fun, joy, peace and so on.    

We can visualize what can be the impact of ignoring the concept of refusal by the example. Now lets think on "How to Say No and Refuse"

First we have to develop firmness about ourselves, decide what we require and what not. What are our resources and at what cost of time, energy and monetary level we can afford to do a particular task in a given time frame. if not, We must refuse it and avoid such mess which makes our life hell. Time is precious and it is allotted to all in terms of age and that too in the limited slot then why we should neglect it. Now lets have a look at different ways to say "No"

1. Say directly No where we have no personal bindings or relationship.
2. Develop our system (office norms, policy of working etc.) to handle the refusal.
3. We can put the burden of refusal on lack of resources. I mean we can simply say no due to non availability of some resource hence we won't be able to accomplish a task or assignment.
4. Sometime task itself does not require perfection, then do only what is required. this too is a kind of  limited refusal.
5. Delegation of task at different levels, in other words creating layers makes us easy to say No. 

The lawyer knew all this well and decided to change himself. He listed all the areas where he was just taking the assignments which were not remunerated enough and could be avoided. He seriously applied the concept of refusal and what happened just see here:

1. His stress level came down considerably.
2. At the beginning his professional fee billing came down by 20% but after a few months it increased with the addition of more new good clients and his profitability (bottom line) also improved in a positive direction.
3. He was far more confident person than earlier
4. Clarity about life emerged and he started enjoying quality time with family and friends.
5. His health too improved.
6. Ultimately he is more rich and knew well that what is really meaningful to him.
     
I hope knowing the art of refusal can help anyone to have the right balance in life. This article is based on my practical experience of more than 25 years and many interactive seminars I have addressed so far. If you like it , please share it for a nice cause of helping others.
Ashok Madrecha
  

काश हम समझ पाते

भीड़ के भावावेश का भाग बनकर
इतराते रहे कि मंजिले पास है
कुछ चेहरे हाँक रहे उस भीड़ को
सब समझते रहे कि हम भी कुछ ख़ास हे .…।
क्या खूब सबने बहते पानी में
हाथ धोये जी भर के
सुविधा से एकत्र हुए देखो
खुश सब मर्जी की करनी कर के .…।
पता चला कि पानी ही अच्छा नहीं है
उस भीड़ में कोई सच्चा नहीं है
पर झूठ अपना कर सच को खो दिया
तमाशा देख ज़माने का , ये दिल रो दीया .…।
अश्कों का मूल्य अब कहाँ होता है
जगते दानव दिन रात, मनुज सोता है
सीधे रास्ते छोड़कर सब उलझनों में पड़ गये
कल के मासूम आज कितना अकड़ गये .…।
दुआ-सलाम का जमाना गुजर गया
बस कोई इधर गया कोई उधर गया
महंगी हुई मुस्कानें, देखो इन चेहरों की
आवाजों का असर नहीं होता, सारी बस्ती बहरों की .…।
- अशोक मादरेचा

Are We Original ?

Imbalance in life has set so deep in our life that we are completely modified and living in an artificial state of mind. Our originality is lost and we have become totally a different person.

Let's test our originality and ask ourselves some questions :

1. Can we smile in real ?
2. Can we laugh freely ?
3. Do we feel close to our family ?
4. Can we really define our own happiness ?
5. Do we enjoy being with our friends ?
6. Are we afraid of something all the time ?
7. Have art and hobbies completely evaporated from our life ?
8. Feeling fed up ?

Such honest questioning will open our heart and pave way to do really meaningful in life. We are not taking adequate pauses while remaining in the race. This causes our inner system highly stressed and prone to failure. What for we are in the race ? We must ensure that whether it is just for the sake of showing off or it is really needed. We don't have time to read or discuss such things as we are not original now.

There may be varied reasons for loosing originality like attaining prosperity, meeting some accident, bad health, reaching a powerful position, the disloyalty of some closed friend or relative, break up in any relationship and the list goes on.

Most negative part of loosing originality is that those who lost it, they simply don't agree to this and continue to suffer for a prolonged time or forever sometime.

Mute question is how to remain original. There are symptoms we must observe and knowing these would make it easier to remain original.

We must observe and find answers to these questions :

Does our friend visit or contact us less as compared to earlier ?
Do we feel isolated in our society?
Do people respect us from the heart or just for some compulsion ?
If working, Are we sought after or avoided by subordinates ?

Such introspection may bring some real changes if we are honest with ourselves. In fact an original person only can enjoy life and every moment of it. Being original makes us stress free always as we are not pretending anything and close to nature and ultimately more meaning to our life too.

उम्मीदों का आँगन

वक्त के भाल पर सिलवटें बढ़ने लगी
मंजिल साधने आरजु उमड़ने लगी।
जान लो कि में ना थका नहीँ हारा हूं
आज भी बदस्तुर सिर्फ तुम्हारा हूँ।
तपते रेगिस्तान में फुहार आई
आप क्या आये बहार आयी।
इंतजार तो बहुत हुआ पर गम नहीं
सामने हो आप ये कुछ कम नहीं।
वादा करो हर वक़्त रूबरू रहोगे
हमसे हर गिला शिकवा कहोगे।
रोशन हुआ जहां आपकी नजरो से
क्या खूब निकले हम सब खतरों से।
साकार करेंगे हर एक सपना
आबाद रहे ये सकून अपना।

- अशोक मादरेचा

Goal Setting Audio in English

Welcome to the 3rd audio in the series of Personality Development Audio in English.
 
In this audio I describe reasons for not achieving goals. Click play button now to know important points about Pursuing Goals.

Pursue your goals

Every time when you feel things will move, time will change, just see whether you are pursuing your goals on a sustained basis or waiting for the destiny to change repeatedly. If our expectations are high then efforts too must be more timely and focused.

Never conclude your victory or defeat without putting enough efforts. Time plays it's role but our own initiative makes a difference.

Goals may be anything, study, reaching a particular position, winning heart, become an influential leader, targeting an award, mastering a skill or profession and so on. Higher the goal, higher would be the need for efforts. Sitting pretty in your drawing room and thinking of changing everything with miracles must be avoided. Instead wholehearted persuasions of the goal will lead us to build our own incredible empire we dream upon. One can say, coming out of comfort zone would be the first step to pursue his or her goals. At the beginning, the journey may be very boring but after crossing some milestones it would become interesting more and more.

There are four reasons for not achieving goals

1. Lack of burning desire : there are people who get influenced by changing circumstances for instance, Just after reading newspaper headlines or meeting someone they set their goals and don't know what they wish to achieve. One should live the dream.

2. Setting wrong or unpractical goals : Be practical while setting a goal. Decide short term and long term goals and focus on what can be accomplished early. Unpractical goals will lead us to frustration only.

3. Efforts in wrong direction : even after putting all out effort goals are not within reach then certainly our efforts are in the wrong direction. Rethink your strategy and make suitable changes in your action plan.

4. Lack of resources : most of the time we find people complaining about the resources. We must first assess all three points above then think about all those who achieved their goals and ask ourselves whether we are the only one who are deprived of resources. Proper planning and action in the right direction on a sustained basis will surely lead us to great success.

Let's move and strive for the best.

Cultivate a hobby

When life seems to be at standstill hobby can be an answer. Most of us have some hobbies but we don't pay much attention to them due to many constraints. Truly speaking hobby is like communicating with one self and if cultivated properly it provides valuable meaning to life.

One can choose a hobby or hobbies as per his or her wishes. We find people enjoying with painting, writing, playing some games, walking, gardening, speaking, advising, counselling, singing, traveling, meditating and so on. When we do something as per our choice, it makes us like talking to ourselves and we start expressing in true senses which bring out stagnancy set in our life. Now we must see one important fact that while choosing hobby ensure that whether it is really communication with oneself or it is just killing our time. For instance watching a television series is not a hobby it can be fun. I feel we should not classify such things in the hobby though one can find these very essential for him.

My point is that hobby should increase your inner pleasure and satisfaction level as you advance in devoting into it. There are many people around the world whose hobby took them to height and they converted it in their profession with great success too. In most of the cases people surrender and compromise with their hobbies and eventually they loose charm in life. Once charm and inspiration lost, it becomes difficult to come out of negativity which haunts on a sustained basis and this makes us compelled to think about our hobbies which enables us to talk with our own soul really.