Me and We of Relationship

Relationship in life is common but but its longevity is little uncommon. We have so many relationships like husband and wife, man and women, brother and sister, son and father, mother and daughter, sister and sister, brother and brother, pupil and teacher and the list goes on. We build our relationship either by birth, by our contacts or may be due to some other reasons.

Most of us would agree on this truth that a good relationship makes a person happy and a strained relationship causes tension in life. This truth emphasizes the need to understand why a relationship breaks or get strained.

You would be surprised in many cases of couples coming to me for consulting before buying a house their first sentence was like " Sir We wish to buy a good house and plan accordingly, please suggest us. This We and Us are very nice words to bond them and this leads them to success in planning a good house too. let us go further, after some time many of these couples are now changing from this We and Us to Me and mine like words which are the root of serious damage to any kind of relationship. Later on I hear such words from them Sir, its me who bought the house and the other one says its me who manages the home now point here is that We is lost and Me has taken place of We. If anyone in a relationship changes priority which has bearing on others then be careful and see whether we are on verge of adopting this Me instead of We. Please count how many time you are using words like Me, Mine, and compare this count again after some days and see are you readying for a break up ? If you are sure that use of such words are higher then cautiously shift to We and Ours. This will make lot of difference. Journey of life would demand some changes in attitude and everyone should take note of this. behaving like I am always right is a myth and we should try to break this and not these precious relationships which are bestowed upon us. 

सच्चाई

ख़ुशी की खोज बाहर करना
फिर पुरानी गलती दोहराना
सुख शांति के दो पल पाने की
अभिलाषा बस कुछ कर जाने की
कोशिश करना व्यर्थ नहीं होता
प्रयत्नों से कौन समर्थ नहीं होता
ले नहीं पाते जिंदगी उतना देती हे
ज़माने का दोष नहीं, कर्मो की खेती हे
कई बार साफ़ दिखता भी हे
पर समझ कम पड़ जाती हे
दिग्भ्रमित से मंजिलो की तलाश में
कुछ मिलेगा हर वक़्त इसी आस में
स्वयं की व्यवस्था में लगे दिन रात
झूठ के सहारे करते रहे हर बात।
जब सच्चाई सामने प्रकट होगी
स्थिति स्वयं बड़ी विकट होगी
दर्पण से सामना नहीं कर पाओगे
अपना चेहरा खुद ही छुपाओगे
समय को कौन रोक पाता हे
ये तो बस बीतता जाता हे
ये तो बस बीतता जाता हे.…।

घर और इंसान

हमने ठिकाने बना लिए और
उनको मकानों का दर्जा भी दिया
काश घर बनाये होते
बेशक इतना कर्जा भी लिया।
हर दीवार चमकीली हे
सजा दिया बहुत सुन्दर तरीके से
गरूर का सामान बना दिया
क्या सकून भी लाये कुछ सलीके से।
सब सामान की जगह बना दी
हर कोने को भर दिया
आ जाते बूढ़े माँ बाप साथ रहने को
लगता कुछ तो अच्छा कर दिया।
हम आग से खेलते हे
पानी में बहते हुए
जिंदगी गुजार लेते हे
अजनबी से रहते हुए।
दौरे खुदगर्जी के तूफान में
इल्म रास नहीं आएगा
चलते रहना , गिरना मत
वर्ना कोई पास नहीं आएगा।
मकान तो बहुत हे कहने को
घर कहाँ मिलते हे
शरीर बहुत हे चलते फिरते
पर साथ चलने को इंसान कहाँ मिलते हे ।

Mind or Dustbean ?

It is quite important that we remain constantly aware of how we use our mind ? Just an information collector, dumping ground of so many unwanted scattered pieces of information and making it a scrapyard ? We must justify, if something is available and adding some type of excitement we immediately start storing data as if we are programmed accordingly and eventually our brain hangs sometime. One may argue well by stating that mind is not developed if not used fully. On the same line we can say there should always be some space to play and develop. Amazingly our educational system too bombards with so many old data which are sometime totally useless and I would say it is severe damage to our mental health. So what to do ? Can we change the entire world ? Yes but I would like to correct myself , we can change our own world entirely. Just calm down and think upon what information and type of data you are really required in your carrier, family, society or the circle you are in. What interest and hobbies you posses? I am sure you are getting me. Suppose a person working in a factory, having only interest in cricket , why we should expect from him that he should also know who were the stars of Titanic but our system and society today likes those who are full of unrelated information. To live healthy and for balanced mental health one should be vigilant enough to see whether others are programming us or we are justified in storing so much information.

The problem of over storing unrelated data in our brain is more serious in case of highly educated people. The more we develop our brain, more intellectual level we reach and creates thrust of more data and information to process but at this point of time the main question to be asked is, What information should be allowed and processed through our brain ? just try, many of us will laugh at ourselves and find how much clutter we do precess through our mind and possess too for long ...... Why ?

Status or Stress ?

Journey of life comprises of so many achievements, wealth, respect, recognition, image, brand, skill, and so on. Collectively all this makes a person different and it creates status . As a human being we try to keep it up and up. We should ask ourselves at what level we are comfortable with this status or I would say it so called status in other way. The reality of life is that if we under unknown pressure try to keep on maintaining this status, it creates stress, so ideally it should be spontaneous and not an obligation on constant basis just to show off and impress others by engaging our positive energy.

Other side effects of  "So called Status" which I personally observed are:

1) Jump in level of attitude instead of gratitude
2) Lesser communication with friends and close relatives
3) Feeling loneliness even after crossing many milestones in life
4) absence of humour and increase of monotony
5) Constant irritation with self or others
6) Living artificial life
7) Chasing unwanted objects for more status
8) Developing health hazards

The list above is just illustrative, you can add more and more points at your end. Point to be noted is that achieving something in life is not wrong in itself  what we miss is we put ourselves in chasing something which is not that much required primarily though it may be necessary . We must draw a line in between the both to make life more easy, balanced,simple, and enjoyable.

तनाव ( Stress )

तनाव का सबसे ज्यादा असर हमारे शरीर में दो जगहों पर होता हे, एक मस्तिष्क और दूसरा हर्दय। जब यह नाड़ी संस्थान ( nerve system ) को ज्यादा प्रभावित करता हे तो मधुमेह नाम की बिमारी के रूप में प्रकट होती हे और यदि ये तनाव हर्दय की तरफ बढ़ता हे तो हर्दय घात ( heart attack ) का कारण बन जाता हे। इसीलिए आजकल ये दोनों बीमारियाँ बड़े पेमाने पर सामने आ रही हे। अब प्रश्न यह हे कि तनाव क्यों उत्पन्न होता हे ? सरल शब्दों में कहूँ तो अति व्यस्तता ( over scheduling ) ही इन दो बिमारियों का मूल हे जिसे हम सभी को अच्छी तरह से समझने की आवश्यकता हे। हमें कितने की जरुरत हे और कितना चाहते हे इन दोनों का अंतर समझ कर अपनी अपनी मर्यादा का निश्चय समय रहते कर लेना चाहिए ।....

सरहदों के मजबूर परिंदे

जिन्हें मार दिया बेरहमी से आपने
वो परिंदे तो पानी की तलाश में थे।
सरहदों को नहीं समझते वो तो
प्यास बुझाने की आस में थे।
इंसानों ने बाटा जमीं आसमान को
वो तो उड़ते भी पास पास में थे।
गिरे तुम्हारी गोलीयों से जमीं पर
कितने सवाल उनकी साँस में थे।
यूँ मौत का सामान बनेगा इन्सान
मंजर ये निशां हर एक लाश में थे।
जिन्हें मार दिया बेरहमी से आपने
वो परिंदे तो पानी की तलाश में थे......।

……… अशोक मादरेचा

Express Completely

Life provides us opportunities to express ourselves on varied fronts, be it social, academic, carrier wise, public forums or at personal level. Many of us not even recognise these opportunities and defer our decision to work on that and this all leads us to live without effectiveness. We as human being are most intellectual creature of the nature but our intelligence if not used properly can work against our own. 

Some questions we may ask to ourselves :

What debars us expressing completely in our deeds ?

Why hesitation takes prime place while working?

Why we do not create a sound image of ourselves?

Do we perform half heartedly?

Are we really interested in what we are doing ?

Do the outcome inspire us to  work towards it?

Is it a person , location or situation compelling to work ?

Are we so much compelled that we can not make the change we imagined ?

If we can find honest answers of all these questions from ourselves , a kind of clarity we can have towards the life we really wish to live.

whatever we do, barring very few exception of diplomacy , express yourself completely to the extent you can and it will culminate into a big success even you did not sought sometime. half way expressing brings monotony in life , be it job, carrier, education, society or even loving someone.